Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast, number 611, Having an Overbearing Father.
This is English as a Second Language Podcast, episode 611.
I'm your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan.
...or becoming a member of ESL Podcast...
You can get our learning guides if you become a member.
These are 8-10 page PDF guides that will help you improve your English even faster.
This episode is called Having an Overbearing Father.
Someone who is overbearing is very controlling.
This is a dialogue between a father and his daughter.
And you're going to see how the father tries to control his daughter.
He thinks it's normal.
She thinks it's too much.
Let's get started.
Dad, I'm nearly a grown woman.
You don't need to be so overbearing.
You give me the third degree every time I leave the house.
As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.
Now, where are you going?
I'm going over to Damien's house to hang out.
I'll be home before curfew.
I don't like that guy, Damien.
He's not good enough for you.
He's a troublemaker.
Mark my words.
That kid is going nowhere fast.
Is this a date?
No, Dad.
We're just going to watch a movie.
Alone?
With no supervision?
What is this world coming to?
Dad, we're not kids anymore.
We're both 17.
That's exactly the right age to get into the most trouble.
What are you doing?
I'm putting on my coat.
Why?
You and Damien need a chaperone.
No way, Dad.
I'm not going over to Damien's with you tagging along as our chaperone.
That would be humiliating.
Good.
Then you'll stay home.
So, what movie should we watch tonight?
The dialogue begins with the father saying, where are you going?
Eva says, out.
This is a typical thing that a teenager or young adult might say.
They don't want to tell the father exactly where they're going.
So they say oh, I'm just going out, meaning I'm leaving the house, but you don't tell them where you're going.
So the father says, out where?
Eva says, dad, I'm nearly, I'm almost a grown woman.
Grown here means an adult, no longer a child.
We might also say grown up.
She's a grown woman.
Grown, however, has even more meanings in English.
Those can be found in our learning guide.
Eva says to her father, you don't need to be so overbearing.
Overbearing is when you are very controlling.
You have very strong opinions about things.
You try to control what other people do.
You could be an overbearing husband, an overbearing wife, an overbearing mother-in-law.
All of these are possible.
Not in my case, of course.
Well, Eva says, you don't need to be so overbearing, Dad.
You give me the third degree every time I leave the house.
To give someone the third degree D-E-G-R-E-E means to ask someone many questions, often about things that the person doesn't want to tell you.
So if you say, oh, I'm going out...
Someone says to you, where are you going?
You say, I'm going to the store.
They say, which store?
You say, I'm going to the grocery store.
They keep asking you more and more questions.
That's to give someone the third degree.
You might wonder why we use this expression, the third degree.
You might not wonder.
But if you do wonder, I'll tell you.
Degree is sometimes used in English as a way of classifying something at different levels.
If you accidentally put your hand in fire and burn it.
You might get a first-degree burn.
If it's more serious, a second-degree burn.
And if it's really bad, a third-degree burn.
Well, there was an organization, there still is, called the Masons.
It's sort of a secret organization for men.
It has been around for many centuries.
Here in the United States, in order to become a Mason, you have to go through different levels, and the final level is called the third degree, and it requires that you be asked a bunch of questions, a lot of questions.
That's the origin.
That's where the expression comes from in the early 20th century.
The police would ask people who they thought committed a crime, who did something against the law?
A series of questions.
They would interrogate them, which means to ask many questions of someone you think is a criminal.
That's what Eva is referring to here.
The Father says as long as you live under my roof, that is, in my home.
Your roof is the top of the house, so if you live in it, you are under the roof.
You'll live by my rules.
To live by... is a two-word phrasal verb, meaning you will follow certain rules or certain ideas.
We might also say you will comply, C-O-M-P-L-Y, with these rules.
This is something that a parent might say.
If you live under my roof, you live by my rules.
My parents certainly believe that.
The father says, now, where are you going?
Eva says, I'm going over to Damien's house to hang out.
Damien is a friend.
To hang out is a phrasal verb meaning to spend time with someone having fun not doing anything, in particular maybe talking, watching television, etc.
It's an informal expression, to hang out.
Eva says, I'll be home before curfew.
Curfew C-U-R-F-E-W is for children and young adults, the time when you must be back home every night.
It's the latest time that you can be outside of the house.
So if you have a 15-year-old daughter, you might say to her your curfew is 9 pm.
That means you must be back here at 9 o'clock.
That's your rule.
The government can also have curfews when there is a lot of violence.
Many cities have curfews for those who are under the age of 18.
So even if the parent doesn't have a curfew, the government will sometimes have a curfew for teenagers.
Eva says she'll be home before curfew.
Dad says, I don't like that guy, Damien.
He's not good enough for you.
To be not good enough means that they are not as good as someone or something else.
We might say they're inferior.
They're less than your level.
Dad says he's a troublemaker.
A troublemaker, one word, is a person who creates many problems.
Someone who is always causing trouble.
A troublemaker.
Dad then says, mark my words.
The expression mark my words is used to indicate to the person listening to you that you are going to say something important.
Usually you are making a prediction.
You are making a guess as to what will happen in the future.
You might say, mark my words, someday a woman will become president of the United States.
You're making a prediction.
The father is making a prediction that Damien is going nowhere fast.
This is kind of an odd expression.
To go nowhere means that you're not progressing.
You're not moving from where you are.
How is it possible to go nowhere fast since you're not moving?
Well, it isn't, but the expression means that you are a person who will never be successful.
Or this idea is a losing idea.
So Damien is not going to be successful.
He's a loser.
Dad says, is this a date?
Are you going to Damien's house on a date?
Eva says, no, Dad, we're just going to watch a movie.
The father says, alone, with no supervision?
Supervision is when someone is watching you to make sure that you are following the rules.
In this case, it would be an adult, such as a parent.
The Father says, what is this world coming to?
This is an old expression.
What is this world coming to is used to show how upset you are, how angry you are about how things are changing over time.
You're saying that things used to be better in the past, but now everything is changing.
The world is changing for the worse.
What is this world coming to?
Eva says, We're not kids anymore, meaning we don't need supervision.
She says we're both 17, 17 years old.
Dad says that's exactly the right age to get into the most trouble.
The father means that that's an age where you could do a lot of things wrong and therefore you do need supervision.
Eva says, what are you doing?
The father says, I'm putting on my coat, my jacket, to go outside.
Eva says, why?
The father says, you and Damien need a chaperone.
A chaperone C-H-A-P-E-R-O-N is a person, usually an older person, who stays with two other people, usually a man and a woman or a boy and a girl, to make sure that they don't do anything wrong, especially when they are on a romantic date, that they don't do things that the parent, in this case, would not want them to do.
A chaperone can also be just for a single person, say a young woman who was traveling.
This is not common today, but many years ago, a young woman traveling by herself might need a chaperone, someone such as an older sister, a mother, an aunt that would go with them to keep them out of trouble.
Do American parents still insist their children have chaperones on their dates when they are in high school?
I would say probably not.
Eva says, I'm not going over to Damien's with you tagging along as our chaperone to tag, T-A-G.
Some would pronounce it tag, but I'm from Minnesota, so I pronounce it tag.
Along is a two-word phrasal verb meaning to go somewhere with someone, especially when that person does not want you to go with them.
Your younger brother may tag along with you to go to the movies.
You don't really want your younger brother to go with you.
Well, Eva doesn't want her father to be tagging along on her date.
She says that would be humiliating.
Something that is humiliating is very embarrassing, very uncomfortable.
Something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Even ashamed, A-S-H-A-M-E-D, where you feel bad about what you have done.
Dad says, however, good.
Then you'll stay home.
You won't leave.
So, what movie should we watch tonight?
The father asks the daughter, since she is now not going to go over to Damien's house.
The daughter, of course, is very upset, and she just says, huh, she's upset.
She doesn't want to talk to the father anymore.
Was the father being overbearing unreasonable?
Well, I guess that depends on the kind of parent you are.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
Where are you going?
Out.
Out where?
Dad, I'm nearly a grown woman.
You don't need to be so overbearing.
You give me the third degree every time I leave the house.
As long as you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules.
Now, where are you going?
I'm going over to Damien's house to hang out.
I'll be home before curfew.
I don't like that guy Damien.
He's not good enough for you.
He's a troublemaker.
Mark my words, that kid is going nowhere fast.
Is this a date?
No, Dad.
We're just going to watch a movie.
Alone?
With no supervision?
What is this world coming to?
Dad, we're not kids anymore.
We're both 17.
That's exactly the right age to get into the most trouble.
What are you doing?
I'm putting on my coat.
Why?
You and Damien need a chaperone.
No way, Dad.
I'm not going over to Damien's with you tagging along as our chaperone.
That would be humiliating.
Good, then you'll stay home.
So, what movie should we watch tonight?
The script for this episode was written by a grown woman, Dr. Lucy Say.
Thank you, Lucy.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us next time on...
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2010 by the Center for Educational Development.
