Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast, episode 519, Describing Family Relations.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 519.
I'm your host, Dr Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, in California.
Our website is eslpod.com.
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It contains all of the vocabulary definitions, sample sentences, additional definitions, comprehension questions, cultural notes and a complete transcript of everything we say.
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This is a dialogue about family relations.
It's going to use a lot of vocabulary you might use in talking about the way members of your family get along or don't get along.
Let's get started.
It's an invitation to a family reunion.
Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one.
Are you going?
It's always a little awkward seeing extended family.
Did you know that there used to be a big feud between my father and his brother?
I'm not sure, but it was something that happened before they got married.
My father held a grudge for years.
Then, about eight years ago, they made up.
There's still no love lost between their wives, but at least there are no hard feelings between the two of them any longer.
So you'll go to the reunion?
I'm not sure.
My mother's side of the family has always looked down on my father's.
She comes from old money.
She really looked up to her mother, and they were really close before my father came along.
But that's ancient history, isn't it?
Considering how things turned out, your grandmother can't hold it against your mother for marrying your father.
You've never met my grandmother.
One thing everyone knows about her is this.
She doesn't know the words to forgive and forget.
Our dialogue begins with Eri saying, What's that?
James says, A reunion is when people who used to be together come together again.
After you graduate from high school usually 10 or 20 years after the year you graduate they have a high school reunion where everyone gets together again.
I've never gone to my high school reunion.
Probably never will.
Family reunion is when you get together with members of your family, usually cousins.
People who perhaps live in a different part of the country even might travel to a family reunion.
When I was growing up, we had family reunions that we went to, usually in the summertime.
But of course just my own family what we would call my immediate family had more than 40 people, so didn't really need the cousins to have a big party.
James says once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes a family reunion.
So his friend asks James says Extended family are family that are not in your what we call and what I just called immediate family.
Your immediate family is your father, your mother, your brothers, your sisters, their husbands and wives and probably their children, your nieces and nephews.
Everybody has a slightly different definition of what is immediate and what is extended in terms of family.
James says, A feud, F-E-U-D, is a long, serious argument between two people or two groups of people.
It usually is something that goes on for a very long time, and sometimes it can even be violent.
But here I don't think we're talking about any violence, just his father and his uncle don't get along.
Eddie said, no, what happened?
James says, I'm not sure, but it was something that happened before they got married.
The father and the mother, presumably.
My father held a grudge for years.
To hold a grudge is...
G-R-U-D-G-E means to continue to be angry about something that happened a long time ago, especially in a situation where you don't really have a good reason to be angry still.
James says, about eight years ago, they, his father and uncle, made up.
To make up means to end an argument and become friendly again.
A husband and wife could be arguing and disagreeing about something and they both get mad at each other, but then they make up.
They decide they'll be friendly again with each other.
The past tense of make is made, so James says eight years ago they made up.
There's still no love lost between their wives, however.
The expression there's no love lost means there's no feelings of love or affection, respect or friendship between two people.
If someone says well, there's no love lost between me and my neighbor, that means that you don't get along with you, don't like your neighbor, you certainly don't love each other.
James says there's no love lost between his mother and his aunt.
He says, at least there's no hard feelings between the two of them any longer.
The two of them meaning the father and the uncle.
Hard feelings is anger and resentment, usually because of an argument you had many years ago.
It's very similar to a grudge.
In fact sometimes, after people have an argument and they make up, They may say no hard feelings, meaning let's not continue to be angry at each other.
James' friend asks him if he's going to go to the reunion.
So you'll go to the reunion, Eddie says.
James says, I'm not sure.
My mother's side of the family has always looked down on my father's.
To look down on someone means not to like someone because you don't think they're as good as you.
You think you're better than them.
You disapprove of them.
You should never look down on people who have less money than you, because you're not necessarily any better than they are.
But unfortunately...
The mother of James.
Her side of the family, meaning her relatives, have always looked down on James's father's side of the family.
Look, by the way, has many different definitions in English, as you probably know.
Take a look at the learning guide for some additional explanations.
James says that his mother comes from old money.
The expression old money refers to a very rich family that has had a lot of money for many years, maybe even many generations 50 60, 100 years.
The opposite of old money would be new money.
Usually we use the French expression nouveau riche to refer to people who have recently made money.
But there's a very negative connotation to that, a very negative idea when you say nouveau riche.
You're usually looking down on those people saying that they're trying to be rich, part of rich society.
They're trying too hard to be accepted by old money.
In any case, i don't have either old money or new money, so it doesn't really matter to me.
James says that his mother comes from old money and her family didn't approve of her marrying his father.
To approve of means.
You think it's a good idea?
You support it.
So James says that his mother had a very difficult time.
It was really hard on my mother, he says.
She really looked up to her own mother, and they were really close before my father came along.
So he's saying that his mother... looked up to his grandmother.
To look up to is the opposite of to look down on.
To look up to means, to admire, to respect, to think that someone is a very good person, someone that you want to be like.
So his mother and his grandmother got along very well.
They were really close. meaning they had a lot of affection, a lot of love for each other.
They would talk to each other a lot.
They were really close before his father came along.
To say he came along means that he became part of the situation.
He came into the life of James' mother.
Close is another word that has many meanings in English.
So again, take a look at our learning guide for some more information on that.
Eddie says, but that's ancient history, isn't it?
Ancient history, when used in a conversation, means something that happened a long time ago, that most people don't think is important or don't even remember anymore.
Ancient history, if you are talking about a subject in school, would refer to ancient civilizations the ancient Greeks, the ancient Romans in Western Europe, for example.
But here, if someone says, oh, that's ancient history, they mean nobody remembers that.
That was a long time ago and is no longer important.
She says considering how things turned out, your grandmother can't hold it against your mother for marrying your father.
The expression to turn out or the verb to turn out is means to happen or to end in a somewhat unexpected way, especially after a long period of time.
It isn't always, however, unexpected.
You may be watching a football game or a baseball game, and then you have to leave before it's over.
Later, you may ask your friend, how did the game turn out?
What was the result?
So here she's saying that, considering the result, considering how things turned out, your grandmother can't hold it against your mother.
To hold something against someone means to blame someone for something.
To think that something bad that happened is some particular person's fault means, In this case, the grandmother is angry at James' father for marrying James' mother.
James says, you've never met my grandmother.
You don't know my grandmother.
One thing everyone knows about her is this.
She doesn't know the words to forgive and forget.
This is an old expression, to forgive and forget.
The idea is that you should not blame people or be angry with people for things that happened in the past bad things.
Instead you should forgive them say oh, that's okay, and then forget about it, not think about it anymore.
When James says she doesn't know the words, he means she has never heard or, more importantly here, she doesn't believe in the expression to forgive and forget.
She will never forget.
Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.
What's that?
It's an invitation to a family reunion.
Once every five years or so, someone in the family organizes one.
Are you going?
I'm not sure.
It's always a little awkward seeing extended family.
Did you know that there used to be a big feud between my father and his brother?
No.
What happened?
I'm not sure, but it was something that happened before they got married.
My father held a grudge for years.
Then about eight years ago, they made up.
There's still no love lost between their wives, but at least there are no hard feelings between the two of them any longer.
So you'll go to the reunion?
I'm not sure.
My mother's side of the family has always looked down on my father's.
She comes from old money, and they didn't approve of her marrying my father.
It was really hard on my mother.
She really looked up to her mother, and they were really close before my father came along.
But that's ancient history, isn't it?
Considering how things turned out, your grandmother can't hold it against your mother for marrying your father.
You've never met my grandmother.
One thing everyone knows about her is this.
She doesn't know the words to forgive and forget.
Today's dialogue turned out pretty well, I think, thanks to Dr. Lucy Say, who wrote it.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thank you for listening.
Come back and listen to us next time on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
Copyright 2009 by the Center for Educational Development.
