Welcome to English as a Second Language podcast, episode 372, A Bully at Work.
This is English as a Second Language podcast, episode 372.
I'm your host, Dr. Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development.
And download a learning guide for this episode.
The Learning Guide is an 8-10 page guide we publish for all of our current episodes that contains all of the vocabulary words, definitions, sample sentences, additional definitions that we don't talk about on the audio portion of the podcast, cultural notes, comprehension checks, and a complete transcript of this episode.
This episode is called A Bully at Work.
It's a dialogue between Wanda and Dana about a problem they're having at their job.
Let's get started.
I'm not surprised.
What has he done now?
This was the last straw.
We're both managers and we're supposed to work together, but Robert looks for every opportunity to put me down in front of our employees.
This morning I presented an idea about upgrading our computer equipment and he jumped down my throat.
He said that the idea was stupid and that he couldn't understand how anyone could propose it.
He said this in front of everybody.
I was too stunned to respond, so I just stood there.
That's totally inappropriate and unprofessional.
He's arrogant to everybody, but especially to me.
He always says he's just being honest when he makes a biting remark.
But I'm realizing that that's just his excuse to be rude.
He treats everyone with contempt.
I really don't know what to do.
I know people like Robert.
They're so insecure that they have to belittle everyone else to make themselves feel better.
They have really poor social skills and don't know how to have a conversation or to disagree without being a jerk.
But what should I do about him?
There's only one way to handle a bully.
You have to call his bluff.
If he criticizes your plan, ask him to back it up with evidence or a specific reason.
If you disagree with him, keep your cool, but tell him why.
Most bullies back down when someone stands up to them.
Okay, it's worth a try.
I've been trying to keep calm and maintain a professional atmosphere in the office so I haven't confronted him.
But I will if you think you'll help.
I do.
And if that doesn't work?
Tell him to act his age, not his shoe size.
Wanda begins by saying This is similar to saying I can't stand it, which means I can no longer tolerate this.
I can't take it anymore, she says.
I try to put up with Robert, but I've had enough.
To put up with someone means to tolerate someone, to...
Take something without complaining.
It's the opposite of I can't take it anymore.
I put up with you, meaning I tolerate you.
I don't let it bother me.
Dana says I'm not surprised.
That guy is a big bully.
A bully is a person who uses violence physical violence or verbal spoken violence to prove his or her strength or power.
It's a person who's mean to other people, because they try to control them using this kind of violence.
Normally we use the term bully in describing a child right, for example, who tries to hit or control another child by being mean to them.
But here Dana is talking about an adult who's a bully.
Dana says it's time somebody stood up to him.
To stand up to someone means not to allow another person to continue, in this case, to be mean to you.
Not to be afraid to tell someone that he or she is not acting appropriately.
You have to stand up to a bully.
You have to tell them what they are doing is wrong.
Dana says, what has he done now?
What has he done to make her angry?
Wanda says, this was the last straw.
When we say something is the last straw, S-T-R-A-W, we mean it's the last in a series of bad events.
When someone decides that he or she is not going to let this situation continue, when you can no longer tolerate or put up with a situation.
You say, that's the last straw, meaning it's the last negative thing that's going to happen.
Now I'm going to change the situation.
Wanda says, we're both managers and we're supposed to work together.
But Robert looks for every opportunity to put me down in front of our employees.
To put someone down is another phrasal verb meaning to insult someone, to make someone feel unimportant or of less value.
To put down has a couple of different meanings.
Take a look at our learning guide for some additional explanations.
Wanda continues.
This morning I presented an idea about upgrading our computer equipment and he Robert, jumped down my throat.
To jump down someone's throat means to attack someone verbally, to yell at somebody for something that they said or did.
Dana asks, what did he do?
And Wanda says he said that the idea was stupid and that he couldn't understand how anyone could propose it.
He said this in front of everybody.
Wanda says, Dana says that's totally inappropriate and unprofessional, what Robert did.
Wanda says Robert's arrogant to everybody.
To be arrogant means to think that you are more important than everyone else, that you are better than everyone else.
Wanda says he always says he's just being honest when he makes a biting remark.
A biting remark is a hurtful or cruel comment that you make to someone.
Biting has a couple of different meanings in English.
Once again, look at our learning guide for some additional explanations of that word.
Wanda says that she realizes that he's just making excuses for being rude when he says he's being honest.
He treats everyone with contempt.
Contempt means disrespect, a strong dislike of another person.
Dana says, Dana says, To be insecure means to be not secure, to be not confident about who you are.
To belittle means to make someone else feel unimportant, to tell someone that he or she is less important than you are.
Normally it's something that would happen in front of other people, but not always.
Dana says that people like Robert have very poor social skills.
Social skills refers to the ability to communicate with other people, to work effectively with other people in a friendly way.
We say someone lacks social skills or they have poor social skills.
We mean they don't get along with other people.
They don't know how to have a friendly conversation with other people.
Wanda says, that may be, but what should I do about him?
Dana says there's only one way to handle or take care of a bully.
Wanda says how?
And Dana says you have to call his bluff.
To call someone's bluff, B-L-U-F-F, means to make someone prove what they are saying is true.
To force somebody to prove that he or she will really do what he or she says they will do.
That is to call someone's bluff.
A bluff is when you say something to someone and it's not necessarily true.
In fact, it usually isn't true.
But you are trying to make them believe it.
Someone may say to you, you're bluffing. meaning you are lying, you are not telling the truth.
You're trying to make me believe something that isn't true so that you can have an advantage over me.
Dana says you have to call his bluff.
If he criticizes your plan, ask him to back it up with evidence.
To back something up means to provide evidence to support something, to prove something.
Someone says to you, back it up.
They're saying, give me evidence that this is true.
If you disagree with him, Dana says, keep your cool, but tell him why you disagree.
To keep your cool means to stay calm, to remain relaxed and unconcerned.
The beautiful woman walked in the door, but I kept my cool.
Then she sat down and started talking to another man, so it didn't really matter, but I kept my cool.
I didn't get excited.
I stayed calm.
Dana says most bullies back down when someone stands up to them.
To back down means to walk away from a challenge or to give in, to give up.
He's going to back down.
He's going to say, okay, you win.
They're not going to continue the fight or the argument.
Wanda says, it's worth a try.
I've been trying to keep calm and maintain a professional atmosphere in the office so I haven't confronted him.
I haven't said something negative to him or told him that he was wrong.
But she says, I will if you think it will help.
Dana says, I do.
And if that doesn't work, To act.
Your age and not your shoe size is an expression that children sometimes use.
It means act like an adult, not like a child.
In the United States, the shoe sizes are usually numbers between 1 and maybe 12 or 15.
So your shoe size, even as an adult, will not be very high.
My shoe size is an 8.
But I don't want to act like I'm 8 years old, my shoe size.
I want to act my real age, which is 21.
Now let's listen to the dialogue again, this time at a normal speed.
I'm not surprised.
That guy is a big bully, and it's time somebody stood up to him.
What has he done now?
This was the last straw.
We're both managers and we're supposed to work together, but Robert looks for every opportunity to put me down in front of our employees.
This morning I presented an idea about upgrading our computer equipment and he jumped down my throat.
What did he do?
He said that the idea was stupid and that he couldn't understand how anyone could propose it.
He said this in front of everybody.
I was too stunned to respond, so I just stood there.
That's totally inappropriate and unprofessional.
He's arrogant to everybody, but especially to me.
He always says he's just being honest when he makes a biting remark, but I'm realizing that that's just his excuse to be rude.
He treats everyone with contempt.
I really don't know what to do.
I know people like Robert.
They're so insecure that they have to belittle everyone else to make themselves feel better.
They have really poor social skills and don't know how to have a conversation or to disagree without being a jerk.
That may be, but what should I do about him?
There's only one way to handle a bully.
How?
You have to call his bluff.
If he criticizes your plan, ask him to back it up with evidence or a specific reason.
If you disagree with him, keep your cool, but tell him why.
Most bullies back down when someone stands up to them.
Okay, it's worth a try.
I've been trying to keep calm and maintain a professional atmosphere in the office so I haven't confronted him, but I will if you think you'll help.
I do.
And if that doesn't work, tell him to act his age, not his shoe size.
The script for this episode was written by a woman with wonderful social skills, Dr. Lucy Say.
From Los Angeles, California, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thanks for listening.
We'll see you next time on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
This podcast is copyright 2008.
