Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast, number 89, A Good Listener.
This is English as a Second Language Podcast, episode 89.
I'm Dr Jeff McQuillan, your host from the Center for Educational Development in beautiful Los Angeles, California.
On this podcast, we're going to talk about ways of listening politely to someone else.
We'll listen to a conversation.
Here we go.
Hi, long time no see.
How have you been?
Oh, I've been fine, but I'm having some trouble with my son.
Tell me all about it.
Oh, he's 14, and in the past few months, he's become quieter and a bit secretive.
He locks himself in his room and I think he's running around with the wrong crowd.
Oh, I see.
What makes you think that?
Well, he became friends with a couple of older boys who are in a band.
And one night last weekend, he came home really late, way past his curfew.
Really?
What happened?
He told me that his friend's car broke down and they had to walk home.
I see what you mean.
I understand why you're concerned.
Have you tried talking to your son about it?
I haven't yet.
I just keep hoping it's just a phase he's going through.
You may be right, but it doesn't hurt to find out more about what's going on in his life.
You're right.
I should talk to him.
Sometimes it's not easy being a parent.
Thanks.
It helps to get it off my chest.
You're always so easy to talk to.
Thanks.
I don't know about that, but my door is always open.
Stop by anytime.
In this podcast we listen to two co-workers, two people who work together, having a conversation about, And the conversation begins by the woman saying Hi, long time no see.
Long time no see means I haven't seen you in a long time.
And she asks the man, How have you been?
Meaning, how have you been feeling?
How are you doing?
And the man says, I've been fine.
But I have some trouble with my son.
The woman then says, tell me all about it.
This is an expression we use when you want someone to tell you all of the details.
It's a polite way of inviting the person to share their story or their problem in this case.
The man has a problem with his 14-year-old son who doesn't have a problem with a 14-year-old son and he says the son is a bit secretive.
To be secretive, you can guess, means to keep secrets, to not tell other people, to keep things to yourself.
The boy is also, according to his father, Running around with the wrong crowd.
To run around with doesn't here mean physically that he's running, like on a racetrack.
To run around means that he is associating with, he's hanging around, he's in the company of other people.
So that particular expression he's running around usually means that he has friends that are not very good for him.
The wrong crowd is an expression meaning people that are going to cause you more problems, that are going to be a bad influence on you.
He's running around with the wrong crowd.
Of course, crowd also means a large group of people, but here it means the friends or the people that his son has become friends with.
The woman then says oh, I see, which of course is a common way of indicating to the person you're talking to that you are listening.
Oh, I see.
What makes you think that, she asks the man.
In other words, why do you think that?
What makes you think that means why.
Why do you have that opinion?
And the man says that his son has become friends with some older boys who are in a band.
And a band, of course, would be like a rock band.
And that's trouble, right?
Then the man says that he came home very late.
Way past his curfew.
Curfew, C-U-R-F-E-W, here means the time in which someone is supposed to be back home.
So a teenager might say, I have a 10 o'clock curfew.
That means I have to be home by 10 o'clock.
The woman says, really?
What happened?
Again, those are ways of indicating that you're listening.
Oh, really?
And she asks for more information because she's a good listener, I guess.
Well, the man says that his son's friend's car broke down and they had to walk home.
To break down here means that it stopped working.
Machines, we often talk about machines like cars breaking down, particularly cars.
My car broke down.
The engine stopped working or there was some problem with it.
The woman then says, I see what you mean.
This means I understand what you're saying.
And it is a good expression to show the other person that you are listening.
I see what you mean.
I understand.
That's why she then says, I understand why you're concerned.
To be concerned means to be worried, to be anxious, to be thinking about a problem.
The man says that he hopes that it's just a phase his son is going through.
The expression, just a phase he's going through, means, well, let's start with the word phase.
Phase here means a period of time or a length of time.
A phase of something.
For example, we talk about the phases of the moon, when the moon is full and when the moon is a half moon.
A new moon, when you can't see the moon at all, we call that a new moon.
Those are all phases of the moon, and that just means the period of time.
But when you say someone is going through a phase, we mean it's a temporary or we hope it's a temporary change in their behavior or in their attitude.
That's what the man means when he says he hopes his son that it's just a phase he's going through, meaning he'll eventually, as he gets older, not have these problems.
That's what we hope, anyway.
The woman says, The expression, it doesn't hurt, means it would be a good idea.
It won't cause you any problems to do something else, like ask more questions.
It has nothing to do with physically hurting, like you hit your head on the door or something.
That's not what the expression refers to.
It doesn't hurt to, and then the verb about what you're saying the person should do.
It doesn't hurt to close your windows at night in case it rains.
It won't cost you that much.
It doesn't cause you problems.
The man then says that he appreciates the opportunity to talk to the woman and and says it helps to get it off my chest.
The expression to get something off your chest means that usually there's some problem or something that you want to tell someone, and if you tell them it you will feel better.
So let's say you perhaps have something you want to tell your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend or your teacher, but you're reluctant, you don't really want to, and finally you decide to tell them and you say I want to get this off my chest, means it's been bothering me and I now want to tell you so that I feel better about whatever it is.
The woman says that her door is always open.
When someone says my door is always open, they mean you can come and talk to me anytime you want that I'm available for you to talk to.
Now let's listen to the dialogue at a native rate of speech.
Hi, long time no see.
How've you been?
Oh, I've been fine, but I'm having some trouble with my son.
Tell me all about it.
Oh, he's 14, and in the past few months, he's become quieter and a bit secretive.
He locks himself in his room, and I think he's running around with the wrong crowd.
Oh, I see.
Well, what makes you think that?
Well, he's become friends with a couple of older boys who are in a band.
And one night last weekend, he came home really late, way past his curfew.
Really?
What happened?
He told me that his friend's car broke down and they had to walk home.
I see what you mean.
I understand why you're concerned.
Have you tried talking to your son about it?
I haven't yet.
I just keep hoping it's just a phase he's going through.
You may be right, but it doesn't hurt to find out more about what's going on in his life.
You're right.
I should talk to him.
Sometimes it's not easy being a parent.
Thanks.
It helps to get it off my chest.
You're always so easy to talk to.
I don't know about that, but my door is always open.
Stop by any time.
We'd love to hear from you and you can write us and email us and tell us who you are and where you are listening from.
Our email address is eslpod at eslpod.com.
From Los Angeles, I'm Jeff McQuillan.
Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time on ESL Podcast.
English as a Second Language podcast is written and produced by Dr Lucy Say, hosted by Dr Jeff McQuillan.
This podcast is copyright 2006.
