What Now? with Trevor Noah｜Wil Sylvince: Grappling with Nuance

📖 Transcript

If you made a website and you need a testimonial, I'll come on there.

The amount of times

Can I tell you something

The amount of times I have not eaten something because of Will like you are responsible for 50 pounds

I do not have on my body

That's a lot that's good

The amount of times Will has gone man you don't need that when we're on the road

Man you don't need that

But he'll eat it later

That's weird, isn't it?

This may or may not be true.

No, but I'm serious.

You know why?

Because you've never judged me.

I don't see you judge people.

No.

But you get into like a very inspirational.

No, Will gets very like, he gets very motivated.

Motivational like will will be like and then he'll be

And then start telling you about like the the benefits of omega-3s and fatty acids in fish and why you should move to fish and you need this in your body

And then you're like squeeze

You'll take like a piece of steak from your plate then you'll squeeze it then the fat comes out then he's like he's like this fat

This is going to your heart, man.

This is going to your heart.

And then he puts it back down.

And then he's like, you're going to eat that?

And he's like, no, I'm not going to eat that anymore.

You know what I should do also?

I was a big fan of this guy.

No, he does.

It's a good thing.

But when Will gets into healthy food mode, it's one of the best shows you'll ever watch in your life because he's so evangelical about it.

See why I listen to 30% of what my friends say?

This is What Now?

With Trevor Noah.

I feel like you make people uncomfortable with how you dress all the time.

No, Will is like... Why are you even looking at me like that?

What you mean?

Will.

Yeah, what you mean?

You are the king of dressing incorrectly for the climate that we're in.

Tell us more.

Yo, when we were in Singapore...

We went out.

Why are you admitting?

We were out in Singapore.

You are accused right now.

So I'm trying to defend you.

We're on trial.

You can't defend this man when he's beyond guilty.

He's like the archetype.

We're in Singapore.

If you've ever been to Singapore, especially in the summer, it is one of the hottest, most humid places you've ever...

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

In the summer.

Okay.

Their winter is just a nice... Their winter is what a Norwegian person would consider a warm, sunny day.

It was summer.

We went out.

Humid.

Humid, humid, humid.

Humid, like full on.

Everyone's sweating everywhere.

This man next to me came out in layers.

It was so bad that people were taking pictures.

So people would come to the shows and stuff.

So they're like, can we get selfies?

Can we get pictures?

They took pictures of us.

You remember this?

And then all the people said in the comments on the pictures, on Instagram and everywhere was, yo, why is that guy dressed like that in Singapore?

Who is that man?

And why is he dressed?

It didn't matter where the pictures were posted.

People were made uncomfortable by Will Silvins.

I'll tell you this.

I like the heat.

I love the heat.

A big heat fan.

But I don't wear scarves.

Real men don't wear scarves.

I'll tell you why.

This is a true story that happened to me.

I wore a scarf one time.

I can't remember.

A long, long time ago.

I was getting off the train, right?

My scarf got caught.

We know how to close the doors.

Took my, I almost choked.

I had to let the scarf go.

And the tray took off with my scarf waving.

I know people was laughing.

Some people was laughing.

And I was like, never again.

Yeah.

Because there's a few garments that I think should not have been add-ons in any case, right?

So a pullover jersey.

What do you call it here?

Like, you know, a jersey that doesn't have sleeves.

Oh, what is, what?

So it's a sleeveless.

But it's a jersey like this.

That's a sweater.

Yeah, we call those jerseys.

Sweater.

A knitted sweater.

A sweater with no sleeves.

No.

You know those people who wear those?

Yeah, because they have cold hair, but warm hair.

Yes, same with, exactly, same with scarves.

I'm like, if you're worried about this part going up,

You should have been covered.

Yes.

They call it menopause for men because they're feeling hot in the arms.

Or hot in the arms.

And then I'm like, so when people wear polo necks, I mean, and scarves, I'm like, why is this part important, more important than this part?

So wear a balaclava.

And wear the polo neck.

Ski mask.

I'll translate for you.

I got you, Will.

I thought it was a person named Klaba.

Could have been a dessert.

But then I'm like, take a ski mask on.

Tuck it in.

Let's show your eyes.

Go about your business.

But the fact that you're going to cover this part only in a polo neck.

Upsets the fuck out of me.

Why?

Because I don't understand.

Why would you do that?

Eugene, I will say that you are correct to be upset.

Yeah, thank you.

What's the purpose of the scarf?

He's a pilot.

Please don't, we're not going back to the scarf.

No, no, just real quick.

Someone give me their purpose.

Is it because your neck gets a lot of cold and that's how you get sick?

Ask the scarf guy.

No.

I mean, we're back here again.

I mean, we may as well.

The match is your socks.

I'll say.

When I woke up this morning, that's all I thought.

I hope I'm just like talking about scarves for like long.

I just want to talk about scarves, man.

Okay, I'll say it like this.

If you don't live in a climate that is like a really, obviously, we see you're trying to warm yourself.

You know, like if someone was in Antarctica, then you're like, I get it.

It's freezing.

They're wearing a scarf.

In normal circumstances, it is a fashion choice.

But one of the downsides to the fashion choice is that after wearing a scarf, you do get a cold neck.

So since I became a scarf wearer, I do experience cold neck.

And then so now I'm trapped in wearing a scarf.

Whereas before I wore scarves, I didn't ever have a cold neck.

Can I say something?

Your body will eventually adjust to the cold neck.

It's like when you cut your hair off and you're, oh, I got cold hair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then you get used to it.

You just never want to get used to cold necks.

Again, I do agree.

I'm agreeing with... Is that where the phrase turtleneck comes from?

Because a turtle's neck wants to be retracted back inside so it gets cold.

So if you are...

If your neck is exposed, you get a turtleneck.

I had no idea how I got a turtleneck.

We can always check...

Let's check where the term turtleneck came from.

I'm assuming a turtleneck comes from the fact that the skin folds over in such a way that reminds people of when you're wearing the sweater itself.

Yeah, but there has to be a reason why the turtle would rather have...

Exactly.

What?

What the animal, the turtle, got to do with it.

Because when they made the sweater, they were like, oh, that looks like a turtle's neck.

No.

They should call it a lion neck.

What?

Because of the mane.

It's covered.

Guys, have you seen a turtleneck sweater?

Oh, what's that bird that got the thing?

Have you guys seen a turtleneck sweater?

Which bird is this now?

What's that bird that got the fur around his neck?

Oh, yeah, the one that go... Yeah.

That's what it's called a sweater.

Yeah, it's an Amazonian bird.

We're talking about a turtleneck right now.

Do you understand what we're talking about?

We're talking about the sweater that looks like the neck of a turtle.

That's why we say it doesn't look like the neck of a turtle

I'm saying it looks like the bird the bird with the fur exactly

So what I'm saying is you know why I hate people who wear scarves

Is because this is what happens

So you hate Dave?

No, I don't.

No, I'll say this.

But I'm just saying, like, the scoff made this happen.

No, no.

So I'm willing to say this.

And I am sorry to people.

How sorry are you?

Honestly.

Are you so sorry that you'd give up scoffs?

No.

When you say sorry, that means there's something that you did that you're not going to do again.

Yes.

Right?

It's like if you cheat on your girl and you say, hey, baby, I'm sorry.

Then she says, are you going to stop?

I'm not going to stop.

Then why are you saying sorry?

I don't know if that's the definition of sorry.

So do you see here, Will?

Will.

You see here?

Do you see that that is the neck of a turtle?

Yes.

Do you understand now?

Yeah.

Yeah, no, 100%.

Yeah.

Do you understand why it's called a turtle neck?

Yeah, but that's not the neck of a turtle.

But that's not how we normally see turtles, though.

You found the one rare picture.

No, that's not the turtle's neck.

That's the turtle's head.

You know what that looks like.

That looks like someone in Europe.

Okay.

How you doing, Will?

Welcome to the show.

Don't do that.

Will, don't accept his welcome.

Welcome to the show, Will.

Don't accept it.

What he must do now, he must go on the fancy phone of his and Google

Where the name turtleneck for a garment comes from.

That's what he's doing.

He will never do it because he knows one thing for sure.

So he just, he picks the stuff that fits his agenda.

How do you know him so well?

Yeah, we're waiting.

I'm going to do this.

Yeah, please do.

We're here for you.

I'm going to do this.

All the time in the world.

In the meantime.

Yeah.

Did you see Michael?

The term turtleneck.

The movie.

The term turtleneck originated in the United States in the 19th century to describe a sweater with a high tubular collar that folded over resembling the way a turtle pulls its head out of its shell.

Nowhere near describing a turtle's neck.

Did I not just say the words turtle and neck?

No.

Read that last part again.

Are you guys crazy, bro?

No, it resembles...

The way a turtle pulls its head out of its shell.

Yeah, but there's no neck involved.

Pulls its head out of its shell.

Did you watch Michael?

Yeah.

What did you think?

Amazing.

I'm probably going to see it seven more times.

You didn't understand it the first time?

A movement, man.

What confused you?

It was amazing.

What confused you?

Nothing.

Because Will falls asleep in movies.

I wouldn't be shocked if Will started watching the movie, then he woke up, then he's like, why is this white lady singing?

I got to come back and see what happens.

So let me tell you, Michael Jackson had a thing with his skin, you see, Will.

And so what happened was...

What do you mean you're going to go see it seven more times?

When I love a movie, right?

Yeah.

No disrespect to the white people out there, but when I love a black movie, I go and start trying to support it as many times as I can because I enjoy it.

You think that counts?

I don't know if it counts, but it makes me feel good.

Oh, that's good.

That's good enough.

Then it counts.

It makes me feel good.

And then plus, I try to take a different person who was on the fence of seeing that movie, whether it was Sinners, Get Out, all these movies.

I went and go see them, you know, Foothill Station, I saw it like eight times.

And then take different people with me.

Hey, listen, enjoy it on me.

When you go back and watch a movie that you've watched before, do you act like you know what's going to happen to the person sitting next to you?

Or do you still act surprised?

I play dumb with myself.

I act like, what's going to happen next?

And then when they jump, I jump.

You know what I'm saying?

But now at some point, once you're like seven times, and even the people in the movie are like, hey, brah, hey, Will.

Hey, yo, Will.

No, but you know, I do this thing with my mind where I pretend I didn't see it so I could...

It's almost the same reason why we keep chasing, not to get crazy, why crackheads keep smoking crack.

They chasing that first high.

Or when you, I'm not sure this works, when you have sex because you keep chasing that first part the first time.

Or when you keep chasing, so I watch a movie and try to chase that first feeling I had.

Has it ever worked?

Yeah, yeah.

Which movie got better the more you watched it?

You blank yourself out of what happened.

Which movie have you watched that got better the more you watched it?

Django Unchained.

Okay.

Because Django Unchained, actually, I was actually upset and mad because they said it was a real story.

And then I looked up, like, oh, it's a fake story.

Yeah.

And then once I got that out of my system, I went back to rewatch it, and I enjoyed it.

I'm like, oh, it's actually...

This is a good film.

It's a great film.

You know, it's crazy that they can do that, right?

You know there's a difference between based on a true story.

And a true story.

Yeah.

And inspired by a true story.

Yeah.

And inspired by real events.

Or inspired by the book.

You can just say.

I think that I have the impression that previously, just a short while ago, it used to be based on a true story.

It was a true story.

Like if you watched it, you were moved by it.

It was a retelling.

It was a retelling of what happened.

What's that movie, Dead Candy?

A Honey Bun?

You're just saying words now, bro.

The movie about the comedian, he was being stalked by this big girl.

Oh, man.

It's a series.

The deer.

Honey bun.

No, no.

Stop saying the wrong words.

You're throwing us off.

You're not helping.

I hate it when people do this.

What is it called?

Isn't this a series?

It's a series.

She says it to him all the time.

She calls him like a... She has a nickname for him.

Sugar cakes.

No, no.

It must be a deer, I think.

I think it's like a deer or something.

Baby reindeer.

What the hell?

Thank you.

Baby reindeer.

This guy says sugar cakes.

Wait, wait.

Baby reindeer is a series.

No.

So what Netflix did wrong, when they started, they said,

True story.

Instead of based on true story or inspired by true story, they just say true story.

And that's why they got...

Remember that girl came on?

That's why she sued them.

She sued them and she went on a bunch of interviews and stuff.

Wait, the real stalker.

Because instead of just saying based on true story...

The alleged stalker.

Don't get us involved, bruh.

The alleged stalker came out and said, I didn't do all of this.

She said, this is false.

You guys are...

You tainted my name.

And the thing is, if she didn't come out, we didn't know what she looked like.

So she, why did she come out?

She outdid herself.

Yeah.

The weirdest was that she came out sounding exactly like the character from the show.

It was like, it was, you know when, people didn't know what to do with themselves.

Because she came on TV and then people were like, so you're saying, I think it was Piers Morgan.

Yeah, yeah.

So you're saying that this is about you, but it's not about you.

Then she's like, no, Piers, I don't even know why they're saying it's me.

I don't even understand what it is.

That she looked like the character.

Yo, everything.

It looked like she was doing an impression of the character.

Then, you know, before you might have gone like, I don't know if this is you.

After watching that thing, you're like, oh, no, this is you, bro.

This is 100% you.

Remember Rachel Dolezal?

Yeah.

What happened to her?

I think she's Chinese now.

I don't think so.

2 p.m. Will!

I think she changed her name.

I think she has her OnlyFans.

Rachel Dolezal.

I think so.

You can say you follow her.

It's fine.

No, I don't follow her.

I read the Daily Mail and Daily Mail has all sorts of salacious things in there.

Wait, so what does she do on OnlyFans?

I don't know.

People assume that it's only porn on OnlyFans.

It's not only porn.

She could take a clove of ass and she's white.

And white people are like, yes.

On her face?

Can I tell you something, though, about Rachel Dolezal?

You know the way you say it?

You say it like her name is Rachel Dolezal.

I was about to say.

Which is actually a great name.

The way you say it, you go like Rachel Dolezal.

Rachel.

It's Rachel, but I'm saying.

You said Rachel Dolezal.

Rachel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which sounds like racial.

Which is great.

Which is actually a better name.

It is a better name.

Like, that's a good name to just say to somebody.

R-A-C-I-L.

Racial Dolezal over here.

How do you say her name?

Rachel.

And how do you say the other one?

Racial.

That's the same word.

No, you.

Racial Dolezal.

No, you say racial Dolezal.

You're saying racial.

That doesn't mean she's racial.

And her name?

Rachel.

Okay, say this, say this.

I'm multiracial.

Okay, good.

Now say Rachel Dolezal.

Rachel Dolezal.

Okay, let me just get to the point.

Racial dollar zone, right?

Yeah, cool.

I actually...

I loved it.

Yeah.

Initially, I loved it.

I'm like, wow, finally.

Because...

Black people

We're always trying to imitate white people with the long hair you know bleach our skin not just black people you know

You know um you know trying to try

Oh when you talk proper you're talking white or you talk you know no one ever tried to imitate us

So when she came on by yes she loved us so much that she wanted to be us

But then I found out why she wanted to be here.

I'm like, I can't.

Why?

She said that black people don't deserve welfare.

I deserve it.

Because they're buying shit with it.

And what did she buy with this?

Yeah, I'm paraphrasing, but you know.

Yeah, make sure.

Yo, you're going to get her haters.

Yo.

I don't think you should.

Will just throws you under the bus hard.

Yeah, he said that's a whole race of people that should be wiped out.

He said this.

I'm paraphrasing.

What he said was, I'm not having a good day.

But I know what he meant.

You can't just say that, Will.

But you know.

Wait, look it up.

You know what I always find weird while you're searching for that fact that when you're watching cartoons and then you would see different races in cartoons and then you see that behind the scenes and they'll show you that the person that did the voice was actually the same color as the cartoon.

Have you seen those ones where they're like- Not in The Simpsons.

Yeah, in The Simpsons, obviously the same person doing the voices for everything.

Yeah, but white person doing the- Wait, but yeah, what you're saying, you see that they're the same race.

Yes, as the character that they're portraying, right?

But then you watch the news here.

When I watch the news in America, I'm like, if I close my eyes, I wouldn't be able to tell if the person reading the news is black or white.

And then when,

It's almost like the female black news readers in American television, if their skin color would change, they would be a white person.

There's nothing- No, I think because in America, in the 70s, 80s, if you are a black person, a person of color wants to do the news, you have to sound a certain way.

And look, even like black women could not wear their hair in a natural state.

Because they felt threatened or they're like, that's not proper.

Your hair, the way your hair is, that's not proper.

You got to put it in front.

Which is crazy.

They just passed a law in New York City, 2019, the Crown Act.

Which is?

Which is women, you cannot fire people because of their natural hair.

So if you come to your work with an Afro, the way your head goes out your head, they could send you home and fire you.

The thing you're talking about with the news is like a real thing.

There's a fascinating story about how the voice of the black news anchor in America had to change over time because-

At some point, the news was completely like split.

Right.

You know, so you had like black television anchors and black news.

And, you know, we talked about it with Roy.

Roy, because, you know, his dad was like heavily involved in... Radio news.

In radio and news in the US.

And...

Black anchors sounded like the way they spoke, like in the streets and in their lives.

And then at some point when the lines got blurred, when things came together, when they were integrated and stuff like that, now you had to sound quote unquote professional.

And that's when this started like, you know what I mean?

By professional, they mean white.

Yeah, no, no, no.

That's what I'm saying.

Oh, it freaks me out.

When I watch two news anchors, female, black, and white, and they go, I'm like, you also sound like Carly?

Yeah, it's a specific type of.

And earlier today, many were asking, what is the people on the street who didn't have this to say?

That's like a specific, yes.

But not just in news, but

Radios has certain voice.

Hey, you listen to Hot 105.1, the light hour.

We play all the light songs.

When you dance, you light on your feet.

Yeah, there's one thing my ear can get used to is drive time and breakfast New York radio.

There's too many people talking and they're talking too fast.

It's only because ADD has not got to your country yet.

That's all.

Once you guys get ADD.

Can I tell you, Will?

You just put one of the funniest thoughts in my head.

ADD has not come to your country yet.

Because now I just pictured a shipment of ADHD coming to Africa.

And the Africans not knowing what's about to hit them.

And the ship comes.

The guys are in the harbor there.

Then it's like, Abijo.

Have you got the consignment?

Have you got the shipping forms ready?

Yeah, we've got them here.

There are a few things coming in.

There's a big shipment of ADHD.

ADHD, what is that?

I don't know what it is, but we are going to inspect the container.

They say it's quite dangerous.

Okay, let me know when it arrives.

And the container comes in.

It's like, okay, are you ready?

It opens the door.

It's like...

Hot 105, everyone.

All the news in the break.

It's a prank.

I'm pranking my mom.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry about that.

I'm like, I'm not sure if it was a jingle or a prank.

You're such an asshole.

It's your mom talking on a K41056FF2501.

And the 501 interstate is traffic and there's a black guy in a car.

American Radio has to keep up with the personalities out there.

That's how they keep them in tune.

Oh, damn.

Speaking of which... By the way, were you ever diagnosed with ADD as a kid?

I diagnosed myself, and I fixed it.

Cough medicine.

Fuck therapy.

I got this.

Why are you talking about ADHD?

Like you're talking about scrambled eggs.

I want to fry an egg.

Can you?

Yeah, can I explain?

Guys, he can explain.

If you know you got a problem, right?

Once you know the problem, then you know what the solution or you can figure out what the solution is.

This I agree with.

But how old were you when this was happening?

If that theory was true, Jeffrey Dahmer would have killed one person only.

No, but maybe he didn't know he had a problem.

That's what Will's saying.

Yeah, when the fridge started smelling.

No, that's a different problem.

No, but there's another...

I get what Will's saying.

He's saying, do you acknowledge that you have a problem?

But there's another part to that.

Okay.

Once you acknowledge you have a problem, do you want to fix it?

Yeah.

Powerful.

Yeah.

If you don't want to fix it, then like a crackhead knows, you know what?

I do smoke crack.

You're right.

There's many of my...

I love crack.

There's many of my problems that I don't want to fix because...

The other day, I looked at my bookmarks on X, and I was like, I don't want to fix this problem.

Yo, you know what I used to do?

I used to walk like this.

What do you call when your feet walk like this?

Duck feet?

Duck feet.

I used to walk like that.

Yeah.

Right?

Why?

I just had my legs.

That's horrible for boxing.

No, no, that's when I was little.

Well, not little, when I was in high school and stuff.

I used to walk like this.

And then I'm like, why am I... And I wonder, I caught myself... Do you ever catch yourself in one of those outside mirrors where the glass... Yeah, yeah.

And I saw myself waddling...

And I'm like, ugh, no wonder I ain't got no girlfriends.

I wouldn't date me.

And so what I did was I forced my feet to walk pigeon-toed, right?

Every time I, oh, let me walk pigeon-toed.

Eventually my body just fixed the difference, adjusted to the difference, and I just started walking regular.

I'm now thinking of all the people who were on that street with you when that happened.

That must have been like watching a Kaiser Soze moment.

Because now imagine you were walking against, you were walking down the street.

You see this young man waddling.

He's in front of you, waddling, waddling, waddling, waddling.

Turns.

Looks in the mirror, you don't know what's happening, turns and then turns back and all of a sudden changes his body and then walks the other way.

You would be like, I just witnessed something.

I don't know what crime I witnessed, but something has happened here.

And then eventually when I kept doing that, my body just remember, hey, this is- Wait, wait, wait.

So, okay.

So you fixed your duck walk.

You fixed your ADD.

How did you fix your ADD?

What did you do?

So I learned to just look the person in the eye and either look the eyes or watch them out.

Where am I looking at your eyes or your mouth right now?

Where am I doing?

I can't tell.

Exactly.

So you can't.

So, but now, so it forced me to like, listen to your words.

So you just forced yourself to do this?

I just forced myself.

I kept forcing myself.

What did you do before that?

I just used to be like this.

Yeah.

Nah, man.

What the hell is going on with this?

Oh, wow.

And so you were just like, I'm going to look.

I'm going to stay focused.

But how did you know that you weren't looking at them?

Yeah.

No, I wasn't.

Yeah.

Did someone tell you?

Because I was all over here.

And I'll be like, wait, what happened?

Repeat that again.

You know what I'm saying?

So I... No, no, no.

I was paying attention, but what the hell is this?

Is this real?

You know what I'm saying?

I was just all over the place.

This man is a miracle of science right here.

I think you create a problem instead of curing it.

I think the best... You could fix anything if you mentally force yourself.

Yeah, but the best part about having a conversation with someone is not hearing everything they have to say.

This is not your girlfriend.

Some of my best friends, I only take my 30%.

If I were to consume 100%.

Will.

What would happen?

Exactly.

I wouldn't know because why would I be like, why would, my man, you don't know my friends.

I can't be 100% with my friends.

I wouldn't believe you.

No, I wouldn't believe what Will is telling us if you also hadn't lost like a hundred pounds.

But that's what I'm telling you.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm on your side.

Don't fight with me.

I'm saying I'm on your side here.

I'm saying.

I used to weigh 220 pounds.

Yes.

Another thing about it, I used to weigh 220 pounds, right?

Why is that figure so round?

Why wasn't there 122 to 1.4?

No, no, that's the last time.

4 FM in the morning.

Because when I weighed myself, I remember like, damn, I'm...

And then, you know, you just take it as life.

And then a couple of things made me change my ways.

One day I was, they booked me at this show in Colorado.

They put me in a nice suite, nice suite, big ass mirrors everywhere.

And whenever I go with nice hotels, like where I'm on tour with Trevor, don't ever come in my room and just barge in.

Make sure you're not.

I just like to walk around naked.

You know, I make some calls.

Hey, girl, you wish you was here.

You know what I'm saying?

Walk around naked.

So I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth, right?

I looked in the mirror.

A dude, someone broke into my room, right?

And they're naked and backing up.

It was me.

I didn't recognize my back fat.

And I was like, it was so shocking to me that I couldn't, I looked like an old man.

Huh?

Nah, I'm not hairy.

But it was huge.

I looked like a lump of clay.

And then I remember I went and I just took one of those thick ass robes.

I couldn't bear nobody to look at me.

Not even a mirror.

And then I just sat down watching TV.

I can't remember the sports player, but some sports player was still playing sports.

Because I kept saying, I'm getting old.

You know, I'm 30.

It's just old age.

I looked and it was like, hey, he's 50-something and he's still in great shape.

And that's what made me change.

I'm like, damn.

It's all in your head.

You are what you want to be.

So from that moment on, I decided to change my life, change your foods, start exercising, and change the way I think.

It's really the way you think.

Think first, and then you apply.

That's why I tell people, if you want to lose weight, what do you really want?

Right?

If you want to be unhealthy, that's fine.

That's your life.

It's your life.

But understand being unhealthy come with consequences and you have to be okay with that.

Diabetes, hypertension, cancer, your body parts might stop working.

You have to be okay with that because this is the choice you made.

But if also you want to be healthy, understand that is a heart of old.

Like, you know what?

It's just like when you go to college.

You're not going to ASOL.

You're going to have to study.

You're going to have to work hard.

You're going to have to do everything.

Or if you're in a relationship with a partner.

Why?

It takes work.

Because going healthy, you have to understand you've been eating a certain way your whole life.

You're used to taste, you're used to certain smells, you're used to certain textures.

So you have to give all that up to go on this healthy path and understand it won't be easy.

Just like when you ride a bike, when you first rode a bike,

You fall.

You don't take the bike and put it away.

No, you get back on and ride again.

Get back on and ride again until you're like, I got this now.

Now you're riding with no hands.

Same thing with health.

When you want to be healthy, you just got to...

Give yourself time.

Understand that you're going to fail.

Understand that, you know what?

But this is the vote I want to be.

I want to be held.

And about me, I don't want to be 100 years old.

I don't want to be 90.

But I want to be today.

I want to live today.

That make sense?

I want to be healthy now.

So when you're a lump of clay, you're not living today?

I don't know where I'm going to be 100 years or 10 years or even two years from now.

But today, I want to be, you know what I'm saying?

Wait, wait.

So you were in a suite doing comedy and on tour with back fat looking like a lump of clay, brushing your teeth.

You were still that guy.

Speaking to a girl.

No, no.

Wait.

Weren't you happy that day?

Not when I saw that person.

No, no, wait, wait, wait.

Before you judged yourself.

Right.

Weren't you...

Weren't you happy that day?

Not really.

There was always low self-esteem.

There was always a sense of, I'm not... No, no, no.

But when you walk into a hotel...

Wait, you're sweet.

You're walking in there.

You even took off your clothes.

Because I don't see... You called girls.

Because my mind is not on me.

Understand?

My mind is on other things.

But then when your mind...

When I start focusing on me...

Then I get depressed.

I ain't nobody.

My comedy sucks.

Oh, so what you're saying is when you avoided yourself, life was good.

Yeah.

But that mirror made you unable to avoid yourself in that moment.

And you decided this is what I need to change.

Yeah.

How long did it take you?

What was like the first...

It took some years because changing the way you think could take a while, man.

It took me another two years to like...

I realized it wasn't fast.

It wasn't quick diets.

It wasn't, let me just get this up.

No, I had to change the way I think.

Yeah.

And then I applied.

Then after you accept, you know what?

I want to be healthy.

Change the way I think.

Then I had to...

I had to learn about health, read books, watch documentaries.

When people go to war, right, they don't just go in there.

They learn about how much airplanes they have, how much ships they have, how many this they have.

And then they have a plan.

Okay, we're going to enter here because

There's nobody in level C. So we're entered to level C. Same thing with the war on fat.

There's a war on fat now.

Yes.

With yourself.

With myself.

In America, it's war on fat.

But the war on fat.

The war on fat.

This war on fat.

The war on fat is an individual war.

It's not a nation war.

Because America try to make it seem like we got war on fat.

No, it's because companies want you to be fat.

Wait, let me ask you a question.

Wait, wait, let me ask you a question.

There are people who lost weight the hard way.

And I've heard a lot of those people have resentment towards people who like take Ozempic.

Do you have that?

I don't, because why do you care about somebody else, what they chose?

It's almost like, I hate this person because they're Catholic, or I hate this person because they chose to date an Asian person.

Why do you care about what other people are doing with their lives?

Okay, so you don't have any of that.

How does their life affect your life?

No, no, I'm just asking.

You don't have any of that.

No, not at all.

So if you see them lose the weight because of Ozempic, you're just as happy.

You're just happy that they lost the weight.

That's why I say the number one choice, what do you want?

Not what other people want for you.

Not what your parents want for you or your girlfriend or boyfriend.

What do you want for you?

Why do you say your boyfriend looked at me?

Because you wear scarves.

Oh, man.

Can I ask you something?

Did you always have this growing up?

Were you always strong-willed?

No.

No, I was very weak-minded and more of a follower and stuff.

Duck feet.

Pimples and stuff.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Pimples doesn't have anything to do with your personality.

I love how you threw pimples in.

Pimples is part of a poor diet.

No man will.

Come on, man.

You see, you're going to start with that conspiracy shit now.

You see now.

You see what Will just did there?

He just threw it in.

He's like, man, no, man, my mind was weak when I was young, man.

I had no confidence and, you know, and I was just a follower and I had pimples, man.

Skittles.

Yo, you can't control whether or not you have acne.

That's not in your control.

It's in the diet.

Will, I will say this one thing to help you.

Oh no, I mean to add on to what you're saying.

A lot of the time, people have done a thing like that, but they don't, either they don't remember it or they don't reference it.

What do you mean?

Wait, what?

In a person's life, there was a time where they had to do a thing where they had to do it for themselves.

Do it themselves.

Yes, do it themselves.

They had to fix something in their life, whatever it may be.

And then they do it.

Other people didn't tell them to do it.

And sometimes it's not even a negative thing.

It's just like a thing where they used self-discipline or self-will.

You know, when someone is like, you miss people.

A person not overweight or anything, but you'll be like, how come you started jogging?

Then they were just like, I just thought it was hard.

I started waking up at five.

Why?

I don't know.

But it was hard.

And I did it based on myself.

Then when they take on other challenges, they forget to reference that.

Because you saw like dipping in the same pool of- Oh, they forget to tell other people- Of their own thing.

That they now have a new skill or muscle that they had to develop from a certain space.

And they don't, of their own thing.

So let's say you learned to play, you learned to, like your thing, the duck feet thing.

You fix it yourself or the weight thing.

Then you decide to do another thing.

If this is another person.

They forget to reference that they once did that thing.

It's like, we want...

They come out perfect after the results.

No, so like, when you won a championship and you do another tournament, you must be like, I won the previous championship.

Yeah, what I'm saying is like, if someone learns how to play the piano, then they go on to play guitar.

They need to reference the fact that at some point they had learned how to play piano because that thing...

They accumulated the skill.

Yeah, that thing sort of directly ties to this next part of it as opposed to it being an independent...

But not the actual activity.

Yeah, not the act.

The willpower.

The willpower of the act.

That's what I mean.

They built it from somewhere.

Yes.

Because they'll be like, I don't have the willpower to do this.

Then you go like, surely, not surely, in your life, there's a thing where you just in the course of life, just like in the course of life, people have a bad time, people have a good time, you know, like life offers things.

In the course of your life, just because you're a human being, there was a time when of your own volition, you did a thing.

When you now...

Need to do another thing of your own volition

Remember that you are doing this for the second time

That's just how life is

The second time where you're like I need to do this thing I can guarantee you it is not the first time

You need to use that self discipline

Yes you definitely definitely definitely have done it once before and you got to reference that

But pimples is not one of them.

Pimples is 100% not right.

Acne is not... With weight, when you tell people...

That you've lost weight, that have never seen new fat.

Yes.

You're wasting your time.

This is true.

Completely.

Because we don't know how to reference that.

But I'll tell you this.

Will you give us a picture that we can put up for the people?

No, no, you don't need a picture.

Just give us a picture so we can put it up for the people.

And you must put it upside down for more, for more, not upside down, but you must start it upside down and then it must rotate for more effect.

Okay, cool.

I'm down.

Yeah, and wear more tank tops.

Just to show us what you've done with your life.

Also, about the willpower thing, right?

With your family and friends.

That's what we're going to call this episode.

Willpower.

Get it?

Because your name's Will.

Thank you.

I love doing that to Will because he does that to us all the time.

And when you do it back to him, he looks at you like, how can you live like this?

So what made my journey a little bit harder, right?

The people I surround myself with.

Whether they want you to be fat or they don't like... Black community think if you're skinny, you're sick, something's wrong with you, right?

But that's where...

It came from a real place, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, for almost the entire history of existing...

If you were super skinny, it means things were really tough for you and life was not good.

Right.

But not super skinny, just small.

Even then skinny, like things were not good for you.

Right.

Do you know what I mean?

Skinny is a byproduct of lack.

So now that we reversed it, you think now this is going to be the thing, like you're really big.

No, it is.

I actually think it is.

I do think.

I think if you look at society now versus then, and obviously it's different depending on where you are in the world.

Yeah.

But certain body shapes and types hold a completely different connotation depending on where you are.

So now, especially because of Ozempic and these things, now I think people who are heavier are going to be seen as being poorer or of that class because- No, because before it was like a willpower thing.

Oh, you gained, oh, you're overweight.

It means that you don't work out or you're struggling.

But now it's like, oh, you don't want to take Ozempic.

You don't want to take these drugs.

It also means you can't afford them probably.

So I think to your point, that will become very quickly a signifier of

Of how people see your place in society.

Like, what is your station in life?

They'll go...

It becomes class.

Yeah, it literally becomes that.

Like, when we grew up, the skinnier people, you were immediately, like, just looked at as... Yeah, you're not doing well.

If your, like, dad or uncle was skinny, they're not doing well.

Yeah.

That's why in Haiti...

Back in the days, men used to like the bigger women because bigger women meant two things.

They were healthy and they could cook.

Oh, there you go.

Yeah.

Has that changed or is it like stayed the same now?

It's changed now.

Now they want the small waist but the big butt bumps.

Oh, now they want Instagram, essentially.

They want the things.

Okay.

When was the last time you went to Haiti, by the way?

How often do you get back?

Last year, two years ago.

What's it like when you go?

That long?

It's nice.

Well, the Port-au-Prince is not doing well.

Is that the part that's overrun by gangs?

Okay.

Yeah.

So imagine like,

America, New York City is over my game.

But the rest, you know, Miami is still good.

Oh, okay.

You know, Boston is still good.

Yeah, when you see it in the news, it's like don't go to Haiti as a whole.

All of it.

It's all just a war zone.

But if you look at the news for a long time in the 80s, 70s, 80s, 90s, America, these countries, they don't show you the bad part.

They won't show you the bad part.

They won't show you, oh, but if you fly into this part of town, the sun is out.

They won't show you the bad part.

So what I was saying was, when I get around my friends, I got teased a lot.

Like, look at Will eating trees and leaves.

And stuff.

Shout out to Keith Robinson, who always teased me.

Keith teased everyone.

I had to either A, stop hanging out with my friends, or B- This is when you were becoming healthy.

When I'm becoming healthy, on my path to a healthy lifestyle.

I had to just eat before I got around them, so I didn't

Feel you know pressure to eat and then once I became once I got comfortable and didn't care what they said and didn't let that affect me then I became more of a like a role model to some inspiration to some

You've definitely been a role model and inspiration to me

I'm gonna put it out there

If you made a website and you need a testimonial I'll come on there

Yeah the amount of times

Can I tell you something

The amount of times I have not eaten something because of Will like you are responsible for 50 pounds I do not have on my body

That's a lot that's good

The amount of times Will has gone man you don't need that when we're on the road

Man you don't need that

But he'll eat it later

That's weird, isn't it?

This may or may not be true.

No, but I'm serious.

You know why?

Because you've never judged me.

I don't see you judge people.

No.

But you get into like a very inspirational.

No, Will gets very like, he gets very motivated.

Motivational like will will be like and then he'll be

And then start telling you about like the the benefits of omega-3s and fatty acids in fish and why you should move to fish and you need this in your body

And then you're like squeeze

You'll take like a piece of steak from your plate then you'll squeeze it then the fat comes out then he's like he's like this fat

This is going to your heart, man.

This is going to your heart.

And then he puts it back down.

And then he's like, you're going to eat that?

And he's like, no, I'm not going to eat that anymore.

You know what I used to do also?

I was a big fan of Cap, right?

No, he doesn't.

It's a good thing.

But when Will gets into healthy food mode, it's one of the best shows you'll ever watch in your life because he's so evangelical about it.

You see why I listen to 30% of what my friends say?

You know what I'm saying?

You see when you get dialed in, what happens?

Like I'm watching Telemundo, but why am I watching the storyline?

Why?

So I used to do little tricks, right?

So one of the tricks I used to do, I love cake, right?

I used to love cake.

So I do this.

You used to?

Yeah, I used to love cake.

I would eat, eat.

Two bites and throw it in the garbage.

And people are like, you're just wasting food.

You're throwing away food.

I'm like, yeah, either I throw that away or I throw this away.

I'd rather throw that away.

That make sense?

No, that doesn't make sense.

There were kids in Africa.

Yeah.

Okay, I'll mail it to them.

There were kids in Africa who didn't have cake.

And we're those kids, Will.

And I wish that I was them, because they're skinny and nice and healthy.

So wait, so why would you, I don't understand.

So you did that.

I eat that while I'm getting the high from my dad.

And then I get rid of it because I got the fix.

Yeah, psychologically you're showing yourself.

Okay, so you would go like, I may not be able to resist eating a cake, but I cannot finish the cake.

Yes.

And it's better than nothing.

It's better than eating a whole cake.

Okay i like this and i don't this

Now this explains why i see why you're like i see now why you're a boxer and also this is like

This is the guy

This is like you know

Also we always want the best girlfriend or the best boyfriend or the best partner or the best husband best wife right but we never offer the best advice

Wait can you just gender

Okay the best girlfriend yes and the best

Boyfriend, right?

Yeah, yeah.

But we never offer the best of us.

We offer this person that don't want to eat healthy, this person that don't want to exercise, who don't want to take their career seriously.

Damn, that's deep.

So we like, hey, you better take this, you better accept me as is, but you better be on your P's and Q's.

Here's a question, Will.

You were so obese.

And I'm not saying.

How obese was he?

No.

You said 220.

Every time we turn around, they give him a welcome back party.

Oh, man.

The way you said that.

Were you obese?

No, I was just, yeah.

Oh, I don't know what 220 is because I work in kilograms.

100 kilos.

You were 100 kilos.

I dropped 30 kilos.

Okay, 100 kilos is also... Yeah, but 100 kilos for his height.

Yes, Reddit is going to say for height, it depends.

And this is an honest question.

Yes.

Is that you got shocked by the 100 kilos.

I got shocked?

Shocked.

By seeing yourself at 100 kilos.

Okay.

As for you, you said it.

Okay, okay.

You were naked in the hotel room speaking to a girl.

Let me explain to you so you can visualize what I'm saying.

Maybe we don't want to visualize this.

Go, go, go.

We're so used to seeing the front.

Yeah.

By mirrors, pictures, all the time.

We never see the other part.

Why do you want to see the other part?

Hold up, Hammer.

I'm trying to explain it to you.

Right?

He's sorry.

So the other part is the part that you don't see.

And we never see in the front.

Let's say you remember yourself from high school, right?

I'm not sure you were skinny in high school.

I was 130 in high school, right?

I used to see myself skinny.

And let's say I couldn't see for like 20 years.

And I'm like, whoa, who is this person?

That's why I'm talking about my back fat.

I saw my back a long, long time ago.

And you can see the blades, you know, your shoulder blades.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I used to always put my finger in my back and stuff.

I also used to be able to touch my back.

I can't even do it now.

And then when I saw that...

Image it

It was shocked me

It shocked me

It's almost like you know this person who i haven't seen in a long time and i see i'm seeing now

I'm like wow that does that make sense

That's what i assumed that you said and that's why you need to repeat it now

That was what my assumption was

I fully got what you said.

Wonderful communicator.

I was on board.

You see how he talks about your back?

That's how we feel about Dave's comments.

No, that's what I'm saying about the back.

And we see them and we're like, ah!

I'm saying about the back thing.

Yes.

What is your recommendation for people who don't have that shock moment?

Do you see what I'm saying?

A lot of people are living, but life does not shock them

Hard enough that they can make this huge change.

So then I would venture to say, I mean, I don't know the percentage, but a huge amount of people are not going to have the shock moment.

But if they did what you say, their lives would improve.

But how are they going to do it without a shock moment?

Well, okay.

Let me be a little bit more clear.

So that was one moment, right?

And that was enough to get me depressed for a long time.

Then I had another moment.

I was dating this girl, right?

Tall, mild girl.

And I did a show, right?

You know I like to wear my tank tops, right?

Because I had nice arms.

And I did good.

I got on stage.

I'm like, good show, good show.

I got to her.

She said, either wear a shirt or wear the tank top without the stomach.

You have someone tell you something and you...

Wait, what?

Because there's so much...

He chose to tell you that after the show.

Yeah, but you got... ADD's come around, but that's the one that stuck.

And I know how to go, because I'm getting all these high praises, good show, amazing, blah, blah, blah.

Wear a shirt or wear a tank top without a stomach.

I'm expecting a compliment, but I'm not expecting... And then it hit me like...

The only thing I could say in my head was, but you're having sex with me.

You're having sex with this.

But now that's even, you've answered it.

And another thing I learned about women, women will date a dude that they're not attracted to because they find other things attractive about them.

And that's how we survived for so long.

Do you understand what my question is?

K-105-FE out.

You're just saying you had a second shock moment, which is not helping me, which is not helping us who are not having shock moments.

Will is saying

That was my rock bottom.

So let me explain.

We're saying, do we have to wait to rock bottom?

How can we, a huge amount of people, because everyone in the world, this top story you're telling, this top story you're telling, everyone is telling it on the internet.

Everyone is telling us.

Okay, I got it.

Everyone is telling us about rock bottom.

You want to get that shock moment?

Send a picture of yourself in your underwear to a modeling company and say, hey, will you hire me?

That's... And why won't you?

Huh?

No, no, I'm saying, and give a... And why won't you?

And please give details on why you won't.

Or act like, hey, look, this is my friend.

They want to be a model.

You know what?

I hope people with low self-esteem are not listening to this episode.

He asked for it.

No, but you see what I'm saying?

I'm asking a reasonable thing.

I'm saying the world is full of shock moments.

Yes, but what I'm saying is this, though.

It seems strange to me that you would ask the person who needed a shock moment what people should do if they don't have a shock moment.

Because he's told us that he achieved this through shock moments.

So I wouldn't assume that he knows what to do without the shock moments.

Okay, let's just place this all together.

No, but maybe the real shock moment was not seeing your back.

Was that woman being mean to you?

Wait, can I say something else?

No, you can't say anything else.

Hold on.

We're done.

This is it for you.

Dave, you know how many people... You're a photo prince right now.

You can't be touched.

You know how many people have shock moments but still don't do anything about it?

Is that a shock moment?

Yeah, then it's not.

Yes.

You know how people hit rock bottom and they still consider to the small crack?

Yeah.

Or lose everything, their house, everything, their kids, their wife, and still go gamble as soon as they get another dollar?

Well, owning a house is not fun.

Yes, but also because quitters never win.

Yes.

To those people who have hit rock bottom, people who have lost their houses, taken crack, all of it,

As they said, dust yourself off and try again.

Yeah.

What I'm saying to you, Will, forget these guys.

Winners never win.

Forget these guys.

You know what, though?

Forget these guys.

What I'm saying to you.

You never quit being a winner.

Oh, man.

No, I'm joking.

You know I'm joking.

I'm joking.

Don't go anywhere because we got more What Now?

After this.

What I've always appreciated about you is you are able to choose a path and then go just, you know, straight down that path.

You know, you really are strong-willed.

Like your name.

Where does Wilner come from?

What does Wilner mean?

Wilner.

Yeah, what does it mean?

Do you know?

Look it up, Dave.

Wilna has to mean something.

You've been around the streets.

You've spent your whole life now with Contra.

He doesn't... We don't want to surprise you.

But like...

Pull it.

Pull it up, dude.

No, so here's what I'm saying.

Unbelievable.

Hey, put it up there.

Who's your tech guy?

And let's go to the monitor.

Dave?

Oh, wow.

Look at this.

This is beautiful.

So this is amazing.

So I'm seeing here the surname.

Well, I guess it was a surname.

So I guess you just have it as a name.

But it is a German and Jewish name, which in Yiddish means Wilna Wilna.

And it generally means Resolute Protector is what it means.

Which is what you're currently doing.

Yeah.

You're resolute.

Protecting us from cake.

And you're trying to protect us from our worst self.

Can I ask you a question?

I'm not saying this to be facetious.

Facetious.

She lives in my building.

Facetious.

Yeah.

Where do we get down here

You got a package oh you see

But when i do it to him you see now i told you i felt sorry for you not anymore hammer

So where do you think we find the balance in life between living life optimally and living life enjoyably

I'll tell you why I asked this question.

Do you know Brian Johnson?

The guy, don't die.

He's that dude who's doing all the experiments on himself.

That guy.

And he's like, he has scientists take his, draw his blood like multiple times a day.

So the short version of his story is he made a lot of money in the tech sector, I believe.

Found himself very depressed, almost suicidal.

Was overweight, really struggling in life.

Something switched for him and he was like, I've got to fix this.

Dedicated himself and his life to science.

He's like, I want to figure out how to be healthier and live better.

Live longer.

Yeah, and live long.

But the main thing was not like live longer.

It's sort of like live healthier to Will's point.

Right?

So he starts embarking on these experiments, assembles a team, crazy amount of scientists.

They draw his blood.

They run tests on him.

They try and understand the effects of everything.

Food, alcohol, sleep, exercise, et cetera.

And they always try and like figure out a more optimal way to do things, right?

Now, I actually like a lot of what Brian's doing because he clearly says that, look, this is not the answer.

It's just what we're finding with myself.

And a lot of the things he offers you are actually quite, he goes like, here's what we found is most impactful with sleep.

And he'll be like, this is what's most impactful with working out.

This is what is most impactful.

All of this stuff is great.

But then...

I bumped into Brian at some event that was happening in Sweden.

Illuminati.

Okay.

We just call it The Hang.

Then it's like 11 p.m. at night.

There's music playing and everything.

Then I said to Brian, isn't it past your bedtime?

Because he goes to bed at like 5 or 6 p.m. That's when it's optimal.

Then he goes, yeah, but I mean, because I'm out now, I'm doing this work.

Then I said to him, and this was an honest question, I said, do you ever wonder...

How much your life is now becoming the antitheses of what you're sort of saying.

Because like, you're having fun.

You've even said it, you're having fun right now, right?

Mm-hmm.

The reason you're having fun is because you're going against optimal.

You're not doing what you're supposed to be doing.

Sleeping at the perfect time is optimal.

Sleeping alone is optimal in many ways.

Is it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Haven't you seen those things where they go like you… Sleeping alone is more optimal.

For many metrics.

Not for all.

Okay, yeah, I get you.

But for your temperature, sleep disruptions, all of these things.

That's why in like you know when you go to Germany and some Scandinavian countries when you go to a hotel they don't have one duvet cover they have two even on a double bed on a king bed or whatever

It's two

You'd imagine just quickly

You'd imagine that someone who developed the technology where you start together and then through the course of the night the beds split

That's actually not a bad idea.

So you can hire someone to do it while you guys are sleeping.

Sorry, sorry.

So what we were chatting about, I said, you're having fun, right?

And he said, yes.

And I said, do you acknowledge that a lot of this fun that you're having, it's not ideal and not optimal.

And he's like, yeah.

And then I said to him, could we say that your life is more fun than when you were only doing the experiments?

And he said, yes, it is.

And then I said, now, how do you find the value of that in life?

And that's the question I'm sort of posing to you as I go, we can not eat anything unhealthy.

We can not do anything unhealthy.

We can, but yo man, like monkeys get high sometimes.

You know what I mean?

Dolphins get high.

Monkeys get high because of us.

No, no, no, no, no, Will.

What are you talking about?

The stuff with dolphins.

Do you hear about the sharks that's on cocaine?

There's a lot of cocaine in the water.

There's a lot of fish that they find in the cocaine.

Use elephants with the marula.

I'm saying the marula.

Yeah, elephants get drunk on the marula fruit.

Oh okay okay

So there's a fruit that we have in South Africa and when it ferments the elephants will purposefully wait for it to ferment and then they consume them like copious amounts it's called bootlegger elephants and then they get drunk

Did that elephant go home and beat his kids and his wife

Yeah I'm gonna know how

So what I'm saying is, where do you or how do you find the balance between- Wait, so how did the story with your friend end?

So you said to him right now- No, he just acknowledged.

He was like, yeah, he's like, you make a good point.

He said, because I said in all of your tests, you are able to measure the impact that these-

Activities have on your life because you can track them.

But I was like, but you can't track the value of community.

You can't track the value of fun.

Like whenever I see those stories about people who've lived beyond 100,

They'll always go into like, oh yeah, they walk a lot and they eat well.

But you know what they also all have?

They have community.

They have a good time.

They have friends.

They all seem like they also lived like a full life.

So what I'm asking you as well, not even challenging you, what I want to understand is like, how do you find the balance between

Living your life fully optimally.

And then also like indulging when you want to.

Okay, I'll tell you this.

I started noticing the small things in life.

That's enjoyable.

The stuff that I would pass by.

Yeah.

Whether it's sit down and really listen to that song that I claim I like.

Listen to the lyrics.

Try to pick out the bass.

Try to pick out the drums.

This is because you can't have cake.

No, but we're so quick to live like this.

Yeah.

As opposed to sit down and, you know, or like now when I go for a walk, I'm noticing things about the street, about buildings, about people.

You know, you find other, I've been finding, obviously not for everybody, I've been finding other things that I enjoy, that I like.

No, I'm with you.

That you appreciate.

I appreciate.

I'm like, wow, life is crazy.

In a good way.

Life is...

There's so much to life.

That's how I live my life.

But when you... Look, I'm not judging anybody at all.

Try to look around you.

But when you drink or you take drugs, you...

All that's a blur now.

Man, you crazy.

Get out of here with this.

This guy's going to come and tell us about noticing.

Man, you crazy and you're out of your mind.

There's people who will go and do mushrooms.

They'll see more than you can ever, like, just see.

Well, I didn't say what drugs, did I?

Because I do believe some drugs.

I think marijuana is healthier for you than cigarettes.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

So you're not saying, like, just everything.

I'm just saying hardcore drugs are hardcore.

You've never drank, though.

I don't drink, no.

At all?

You've never touched alcohol?

I started drinking, I'll tell you, I started drinking red wine when they said red wine is good for your heart.

And I started drinking a cup a day.

Then I started, I'm like, oh, you got to drink...

Then I found out red wine has resveratrol in it.

Resveratrol is the closest thing to the front of a ute.

So it slows down your aging process, but the amount you gotta drink, the amount of alcohol you gotta drink, red wine,

To get that, yeah.

So they make them as supplements because the inside of grape seed leaves, you know, grape seeds, grapes, the inside of the skin, that's where they extract the reservoir.

And then I now just take supplements.

I don't need to drink red wine.

So when Will goes to a restaurant with you, he's insufferable?

They'll be like, would you like anything to drink?

And then Will's like, I'll just take the glass.

I brought my Reservatrol myself.

And the sommelier comes.

Oh, here goes another thing.

I enjoy water now.

Like, not just drinking for thirsty, but tasting the water.

Because our taste buds become so...

Impaired and... Numbed.

Numbed and layers and layers and water just...

But when you... Do you believe in vaccines?

Do I believe?

Do you think people should get vaccinated?

I don't know enough about...

I'm not saying yes or no.

Hear me out.

You're about to call me of no vaccine.

No, I just wanted to know.

I just wanted to know who I'm dealing with.

I don't believe...

Vaccines help, and yes, they fix, they help save maybe mankind from dying out.

Okay, okay.

No, that's fine.

That's what I was asking you.

But same thing with like a car.

Car is...

You could take it from A to B.

Or a car could also have killed people.

People use cars in the wrong way.

So people probably making vaccines just for the money.

No, no, no.

That's all I want.

No, I was trying to understand

Like who I'm dealing with.

No, no, no.

There's no such thing as all backs in the band.

No, no.

That's what I was just waiting to see.

So what happened to that girlfriend that told you tank top or polo neck?

What happened to her?

The one who said, yo, man.

We're actually still cool.

Are you still dating?

No, no, no.

In fact, one of the reasons why we probably stopped dating is because...

It's going to sound crazy.

Say it, Will.

Say it.

So on my path to be a healthier lifestyle, I started cutting down on sex.

But I feel like just having random sex with random women.

Not random sex, random sex.

Random women.

Okay, so the sex wasn't random.

The women were random.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, okay.

And I realized I could just smash myself and then nobody get hurt.

Rock and roll.

Rock.

And rock.

Rock and roll.

Ladies and gentlemen, he killed the ADD.

You went from random no consequence sex to I can do this myself.

Can I just say?

We're not talking about chai tea here.

What an emotional journey we've been on.

There's no way I thought you were going to say that.

Just to catch

If you're just tuning in you might be wondering what journey we've been on

Will Silvins regaled us with tales of how he found himself unattractive when he saw himself in the mirror from behind and then has now

Taking us on a journey where he's landed at a place where he was losing so much weight that now I guess you were like, I would hit it from the back.

Now when I'm trying to solve one problem, you start another one.

Sorry there was an in between

Sorry no I'm saying in you took the turn because Eugene asked what happened to that girlfriend

Yeah but he's telling us yeah yes you answered the question not in the way we thought you were going to answer it

But how did that, did you tell her that, oh, by the way, I figured out there's a better way?

So that was a point in my life is like, I don't like lying, right?

To women or to people.

If I call you a friend, why should I lie to you?

But, you know, we lie.

But strangers, you're in there.

Yeah, I lie to strangers all day.

Okay, cool.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

CVS is that way.

Vaccines, they're great.

I didn't say that.

So it's like...

I feel like we use people just for our fix, for our high, whatever that high is, whether you just want to, you know.

And then we use people.

And especially when you know this person is into you.

You know this person wants you like that.

And yet you still...

Do that to them.

You still... Yeah, but that's what random people that are not close to us in our lives are there for.

They are Mr. Nixies.

Hey, I'm Mr. Nixies!

And then they show up, they're there to serve a purpose, and then when they're done, they explode and disappear.

Right.

The other part of that is strangers.

You don't know what kind of stranger that person is.

They come knock on your door or they come with some kind of weapon.

Like, yeah, you're going to stop avoiding me now.

No, no, no, no, no.

First of all, go back, go back, go back.

I like what you're saying, though.

Carry on.

Yeah, so you're saying you have this realization.

So it's like, I don't want to...

But what I want to know is which side of the equation did you feel you were on?

Well, okay, let me explain this.

Let me just probably clear it up.

The amount of level of respect I have for women, right, strangers or not, it comes from my dad, right?

My dad always said that when you got a good woman in your life,

Make sure you take care of her.

Define good woman.

Good woman.

That's a good woman.

That's a good, you know, a good woman.

No, I don't.

No, I get what you're saying.

No, no, no.

However you define it.

Okay, okay.

Good for you.

There has to be a base.

What's a good woman to you versus a bad woman?

This is not about me, Will.

Oh.

No, not a bad woman versus a good one.

I'm telling you.

I wouldn't know.

Yeah, but that's what I'm saying.

You wouldn't know?

No, but that's what I'm saying.

Will, don't fall into this trap.

Okay.

Carry on.

So my dad would say, whenever you have a good woman in your life, right, make sure you always take care of and pay.

Even if they make more money than you, the world treat women like shit for a long time.

Either they underpaid them or when a crime happened, they don't believe them.

Or what were you doing there?

What were you wearing?

So it's like, as a kid, I didn't, I'm like, what is he talking about?

And then as I was getting older and watching, I started realizing, man, we treat women, and women are the nature of this planet.

Without women, where would we be?

So it's like we treat a group of people this way, mistreat them, underpay them, don't listen to their word, say they talk too much.

The whole thing about women talk too much is because in the back of the day, men didn't want women talking.

So any little talk, they was talking too much.

How long ago was this?

Early 60s.

Women couldn't talk while a man was talking.

Women were not allowed to have bank accounts.

When people say, man, my grandparents, they stayed together forever.

Nowadays, they don't do that.

You know why your grandmother stayed with your grandfather?

Because she had no choice.

She had no money.

She left.

People looked at her as used goods.

I'm going to clip that and just send it to everyone who says, my parents, my grandparents stayed together.

That is a perfect clip.

Thank you, Will.

I'm just going to use that clip and send it to everyone.

I'm going to design an AI agent that is going to find people on the internet who say, I'm so proud my grandparents stayed together.

Then I'm going to throw that video of Will.

The only reason your grandparents stayed together.

Sorry, carry on.

And so your grandmother had no choice because a divorced woman or a mother was looked at as like, oh, you obviously didn't learn your lesson.

So women stayed in these shitty relationships.

And eventually the man came around because he got too old.

Or the people started noticing, so he couldn't be, so then he became a good husband by the time he was 60, 70, 80 years old.

So how does this apply?

So by the time you meet your grandfather, you're like, wow, grandfather, and grandmother's nice.

Wait, but then how does this apply to you and the girl?

Oh, I was getting...

So my dad told me... My dad told me, like, you know, treat these women good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You told us the dancing.

Right?

So now I'm getting...

I'm realizing, wow, this girl...

Treats you bad.

This girl is a nice girl.

Right?

The fact that she told that to me in my face told me, like, wow, this is a good person.

Oh, wow.

No, bro.

Nah, nah, nah, my friend.

Let me explain.

Yo, bruh.

Let me explain.

Yo, my friend.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, my friend.

I thought you was done a gig.

No, my friend.

People are complimenting you on the high.

No, Will, Will, Will.

I don't know who this person is.

I don't know what your situation was.

But let me tell you something now.

Shout out to Esther.

Let me tell you something now, Will.

If you just come off stage and people are high-fiving you, telling you what a great set you've just done, and then you get to the person that you were romantically linked with, and you get ready to give them a high-five, and instead they say to you, either...

Wear a shirt.

Or wear the tank top.

Without the stomach.

Right.

That, my friend, is not kind.

Switch roles.

That is not kind.

If she was a female comedian and you were a husband.

That rule is not kind.

Her boyfriend.

Yo, that is not kind.

And you said that.

Let me answer his question about switching roles.

We've been treating women like shit forever, so that wouldn't work the other way around.

A man can't tell a woman that.

Wait, Will, Will, Will.

Let me address this now.

Hold on, can I get a chance to address this, Hammer?

Will.

So, there's no right or wrong way to let someone know.

There is.

Okay, look, to you, look, there's no, maybe she felt like, if I don't tell him now, I'm going to forget.

I can't.

I can't fault her.

You can.

Two things can be true at the same time.

It's one thing she told me in front of everybody.

Hey, where's Shirley?

She told me that in a private space.

Will, I agree with what Eugene is saying.

Two things can be true at the same time.

And I think that's very valid and important to remember in life because I think, and this is, forgive me if I speak for you, comrade, I think this is something that we generally...

Are all too comfortable with as society.

We just swing from one extreme to another.

We love it.

We just swing from one extreme to another.

All good, all bad, all old, all new, all... You're the best, you're the worst.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah.

So what Eugene is saying is very important.

Two things can be true at the same time.

A society dominated and controlled by men could have been responsible for the oppression and subjugation of countless women.

This is completely true.

And a woman, as a human being and an individual not representing anyone else of her gender,

Can do something to you who happens to be a man in an unkind way.

Both things can exist at the same time.

So what we're disagreeing with is we're going, we're not saying women weren't treated better.

No, no, no.

But we're saying, we can't now say this person has an inability to be unkind or be an asshole in a moment because of what has happened to an entire gender.

Does that make sense?

Can I adjust that?

Does this make sense?

Yes.

So that's what we're saying from the telling of your story.

Maybe you're not telling the story correctly.

I'm just saying as an observer of the story, this is what I'm saying.

Can I adjust that?

Of course you can.

I think as human beings...

Even in like, there's no owner's manual on how to handle situations or how to live life or how to approach things.

There is, my friend.

It's called the Bible, all right?

You better read it.

There's no oldest man on how to do things.

So we go as we learn as we go for the most part.

No, I definitely think it is.

For the most part, we learn as we go.

In all seriousness, we teach it to kids for them to become better human beings.

We teach what?

Lead with kindness.

Yes.

Okay, okay.

That's like basic, basic.

You heard what he said?

Yes.

You teach it to kids.

If you do not know

Then how can you teach it?

No, no, no.

But every child is taught please and thank you.

That's leading with kindness.

Okay, not every child.

That's your assumption.

Not every kid is taught.

Almost every kid.

Not every kid.

Hold up, hold up.

There's no child that's raised in the root.

What you're doing is, you're doing what?

The KKK day.

Blanket a group of people just how they all are.

This is how they all are.

This guy just said, you're doing what the KKK did.

You just joined the KKK.

Let's get a shot of you cheating, right?

He's doing what the KKK did.

You're just like, this is what they all do.

Will just came with the craziest.

Yo, if I'm ever trying to win an argument, I'm going to use Will's tactics on anyone, bro.

You try to mess with me.

Let me tell you what you're doing, Mom.

You're doing KKK tactics.

You're some all kids.

Okay, wait, wait.

But we derailed you.

What's more important, Will, is so how did the relationship end?

What happened?

Well, I...

So it's two things.

Yeah, but let's go.

What happened?

So I wasn't having sex with her.

From the day she told you where it said.

No, no, no, no.

Even before?

No.

No, no.

In our relationship, I was avoiding having sex with her.

Okay.

Right?

Because I was so very, I was very religious and stuff.

And I was thinking about, you know, saving my, yuck, yuck.

And then also, but most important, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in the long term with her.

Okay.

But I knew that if I had sex with her, that's like, oh, oh.

So what's going to happen?

Let's do what we're doing with this now.

Yeah, I'm with you.

And so I didn't want to have to lie.

And then now I had to because she provided good services to my life.

She was honest.

She made me look good.

She gave me some good advice.

So I didn't want to lose this friend over sex.

Over like, oh, nah, I don't want to have sex with her no more.

Does that make sense?

So you couldn't, did you tell her this?

No, I didn't have that built in me to have that type of conversation.

So you didn't want to lie to her, but you didn't want to tell her the truth?

Yes okay yeah because because people like me were looked at as nerds or they looked at oh yeah he must be gay if he's not dealing with women

So it's like I didn't know I didn't have the skills okay got it to know how to how to express this

Okay, so you were just like, it's over.

No, I didn't say it's over.

I was like, it just kind of faded away and stuff.

So she saw you lose the weight.

So she was dating you when you were, by your words, overweight.

Yeah.

Then you lost the weight and you were like, peace out.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm saying that's what it could look like.

We broke up before that.

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

I told you it took me another two years.

Okay, got it, got it, got it.

Okay, so this happened in the two-year period.

So after the 10 top incident, you guys were still together for two years?

No, no, no, no.

I took another two years to change where I think about.

His mindset for food.

Okay, so but how long were you together before you broke up after the tango?

Probably a month, two, three months.

And what was the straw that broke the camel's back?

We would not, you know, she wanted some penis.

And?

I was like, oh man, I got to go do a show.

She was out of stock.

Okay.

So here's a woman going, yo, let's hook up.

And you keep avoiding the hooking up.

Yeah.

And then how does that situation come to a head?

Like at the end, how does she go?

It's one of those things.

So relationships escalates because they're more intimate.

Is this like racial?

Racial.

We need a dictionary, by the way.

Escalate.

Relationships.

That's one thing I need is a Will Silvins dictionary.

I'm starting to learn that too.

Of your words.

Which words?

Because now we just added a new one.

Which words you want to escalate?

Escalate.

Yeah.

So they go high.

Escalate.

Yeah, escalate.

What does that say?

Escalate.

Which I'm going to use, by the way.

You know me.

I take all of your words.

Escalate is not the same thing?

No.

What does that mean?

Escalate.

Escalate is when somebody goes on an escalator and then ejaculates.

That's escalation.

I thought you were better than that.

Technically, I was on an escalator.

No, escalation.

So usually relationships escalate because you're doing more things together.

You're more intimate, more kissing, more petting, more hanging out in parks or cooking dinners.

But when that don't happen, it just kind of...

It's just like two ships.

They just kind of start floating apart.

That makes sense?

But they didn't collide like, ah, never again.

They're just like, hey, I'll talk to you later.

You know what I'm saying?

It's like one of those relationships.

Okay.

Okay, but wait, here's my thing.

It's two months almost of no intimacy.

She's asking you, you're coming up with excuses.

You're doing a gig.

You're going away.

You don't feel like it.

You have a headache.

How does that, how does that relationship end?

Who sits, who, this is a woman.

No one, no one sat anyone down is what he's saying.

It's not, it just fades away.

Yeah, no one sat anyone down.

So no one, no one called anyone.

There's no conversation.

It's like when you start dating, but nothing's...

It's a slow fade.

Like, you know, hey, we'll go out next week.

But it's not defined.

Next week is not defined.

Versus if you wanted to go, hey, let's go out Tuesday.

Or what you doing Wednesday?

Versus, all right, I'll see you next week.

We'll hang out, go to the movies.

It's like ghosting in a way, but a ghost end.

But there's no ghosting.

No, no, it's not ghosting.

I'm trying to explain.

Eugene seems to not be getting this idea.

No, but what I'm trying to say is...

If this activity that most people enjoy, men and women enjoy... What's the activity?

Sex.

Right.

If all of a sudden you feel like you don't want to do it with that person, but you want to tell them you don't want to do it...

It's not that you don't want to do it.

What was it?

I was too religious.

To do it?

Yeah, and I didn't have the skill set to tell her...

That I was into my religion.

But you wanted to do it.

Yeah.

But you didn't want to do it because of your religion.

Look, if she was one of these, you know how girls are like, hey, I just want to hug butt naked and I'm cool with that.

All right, cool.

Let's do that.

I'll be down with that.

But you didn't know how to- I didn't know how to express- No, I understand.

You were dealing with two conflicting issues at the same time.

One was your new devotion to religion.

And then the other one was- Not new.

Religion was since I was born.

No, but if that's the case, then why did you...

Your devotion to it was new.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Your new devotion to the religion.

Your devotion to it.

How you are willing to commit yourself to it.

But since I was little, I got weak.

Yes, I had weak moments.

That's what I'm saying.

So your new devotion, that's what I mean still.

So your religion did not include you having sex with anyone?

I...

But that's what I'm saying.

So I'm saying you were conflicted.

You're not supposed to.

I want to know what changed in life.

I started realizing the religion I was followed was all, you know...

Wait, a religion that tells me I mustn't smash a model.

Some religions don't eat bacon.

I'm like, I've dropped religions for smaller, minor, minor inferences.

You only eat fish and eat them.

Oh, man.

You had to break up with that model because of religion and then you took your wife to go...

I didn't break up with her.

Look, I never had experience with relationships.

So I never really had... Like, I didn't know what to do.

I just never...

I don't want to send you to school.

No one tell you what to do.

Yeah, no, no, I get it.

I get it.

It makes sense.

In your dad's words, was she a good woman?

Yeah, she was.

Look, 99% of the women that come in my life are good women.

A lot of women are good women.

We just, we sometimes...

People, not just men, people treat a certain person like crap and they become, they can't take it no more and they become whatever they become.

Wait, so if 99% of the women that you... 99% in my life.

Yeah, that you were with were good.

So how many of them percentage wise are left behind?

The what?

Like are still in your life?

They want to be in my life.

They're welcome to be in my life.

No, no, I'm saying in that percentage of 99% of women that were in your life were good, how much percent are still in your life now?

That's not how life works.

People come and go in your life constantly.

Like a ship comes and it sails away.

People come and go.

Not in the Strait of Hummus.

So I feel like we don't,

You shouldn't hoard friendships like a hoarder.

You know what I'm saying?

If it's time for the relationship to go, then, you know, it's fine.

But there's no hard feelings.

There's no...

It just, yeah.

It just, hey.

Okay, but I feel like... You ever had a friend that you talked to all the time and then all of a sudden you just failed?

Nothing bad happened.

You start calling each other less stuff and then now...

Now, you don't even think about it.

Next, you know, six months, you haven't heard from this person.

But not like, wow, it just happened naturally.

It's a time and a phase in life, right?

Yeah.

Everything has a season.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean the person is good or bad.

It's just, you know, and you don't try, hey, like...

I didn't hear from you last week.

What happened?

No, it's just, you know, people just, life happens.

People just live in their life.

Wilson Vince.

Life happens.

Don't press anything.

We've got more What Now?

After this.

You look like life is good right now.

I do?

Yeah, man.

Should I wear the tank top without stomach?

No, but I'm serious.

You look good right now.

You been on the road?

What you been doing?

Oh, by the way, when we was talking about...

The Lion King?

The voice.

What voice?

Earlier...

Wait, when we were standing there.

No, no.

When we were talking about the newscast.

Yeah.

You know who's the king of that?

Who?

Michael Jackson.

What do you mean?

Michael Jackson's real voice.

Hey, guys.

The deep one.

Yeah.

That's not his real voice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

His real voice is, yo, yo, what's going on?

Yo, what's up, player?

What's up, player?

Yeah.

Did you ever hear his voice?

Do you know where you can hear his real voice?

In the video game.

The one with...

You rock my world.

That in the beginning when he's doing a sketch with Chris Tucker.

You know, if you didn't say the lyrics there, I wouldn't have known what song you're talking about.

Why?

Will is the...

If you were on a game show with Will...

And Will was going to sing a song and then you would have to guess what the song was.

You would leave that game show with less money than you came with in life.

I have never seen somebody who has a more...

Okay, you know this song?

I'm going to say it.

I bet you don't know it.

Okay, let's go.

You, me, needed me.

And we're on a hit list.

Horse and carriage.

You, me, needed me.

You just need the N-word on the hit list.

Horse and carriage.

All right, let me sing it.

You, me, needed me.

You just need the N-word on the hit list.

Horse and carriage.

Pruna mask.

Is that how you say it in Julu?

Wait, I don't.

I lost more money.

You, me, needed me.

You just not end word on the hit list.

What's the carriage?

You, me, needed me.

Tell me when you give up and then I'll play you the real song.

End word on the hit list.

Boston carriage.

I give up.

You, me.

Let me tell you something.

You, me.

You sing that song so far from what it is, that if you released an album, Rihanna wouldn't sue you.

The record label would be like, we have no claims on this man whatsoever.

You know what she's saying, right?

She's saying, you, me, in this relationship, needed me.

Meaning, I'm the one that's keeping this relationship alive.

You, me, needed me.

Using the N-word in the hit list.

Horse and carriage.

That's what she's saying.

Oh, man, we'll...

Oh, man, you're my hero, Will.

Is it because I had the same pitch?

Yeah, that's part of it.

That's part of it.

You get it, right?

You, me.

No, no, I do get it.

I do get it now.

Just end with a hit list.

For the carriage.

I think Trev put it aptly in that you couldn't be sued.

Rihanna couldn't sue you.

She has no claim against you.

Yeah.

Whatsoever.

For real.

Yeah, you're safe.

But it's also quite... Because you... Did you do that intentionally?

Do what?

I don't think it's possible.

Yeah.

Basically, he's asking if you jumbled the words up and the tone and the... We're trying to confuse us.

Obviously, I'm not that good of a singer.

Right?

I'm not that good of a singer.

What a time to make this confession.

After all of that...

But you can catch the word.

You, me, needed me.

Using the N-word on hit list.

Horse and carriage.

Can I tell you, I actually like this song.

Like, I want this song to exist.

I like the singer.

That's the song that I want.

I can do without.

So my point is, right?

My point is... We picked our best parts.

You see what it is with friendship?

You only take the percentage you want.

My point is, when you got to talk like this and stuff, the king of that was Michael Jackson, right?

Did you see the Michael movie, by the way?

I told you I haven't.

You're going to take all of us.

Remember, you got to convince us.

Oh, yeah.

I'll take y'all.

I'm coming on.

Bring your scarf.

I'm coming time number seven.

That's when I'd like to come.

Time number seven.

You said you're going to watch it like 10 times.

I'll watch it seventh time, please.

I want to be the seventh time.

Where did you watch it, by the way?

I watched it on the east side of Manhattan.

And 3rd Avenue.

Daytime or nighttime?

Nighttime.

IMAX.

No, I want to see it on IMAX.

We should go see it on IMAX.

Is the acting good?

Acting is so good.

Yeah, but I've seen reviews that go...

But he looks like him, doesn't he?

Can I say something that's not a spoiler?

Yeah, go.

We know what happens in the story, so I don't think you can spoil the movie.

So people are upset that they don't have the accusations in there.

They forget the accusations didn't come into the mid-90s.

Oh, so the movie doesn't cover...

The movie starts when he was a kid and up until early, early, early 90s.

In his prime.

Right?

So it's like, it's like no one was... Yeah, they were saying, yeah, he's a little, you know, wacko jack or whatever.

Because of other things he was doing.

You know, he likes animals.

He was doing, you know, going to places in his pajamas.

He likes to hang out with kids.

But then in the movie, they explain how the whole kid thing happened.

And it makes sense.

What did they say?

Dude, he used to look out the window and watch kids play.

Come here, Mike.

Get away from that window.

Come here and sing this song.

So he wanted to be a kid.

He wanted to be a child.

And so when he saw some kids, I think at a toy store, that wanted autographs, and he was like...

He was at a toy store and he was signing all that.

He felt like a kid.

That makes sense.

The mind is so funny, man.

So if you were on a jury, that would suffice for you?

No, no, no.

What suffice for me?

Three things about that, or four things about that, about why I say he's 100% innocent.

One, nobody, no other kids from around the world.

No other kids but these two-ass, greedy-ass kids.

Nobody else from around the world, no other kids.

If you like what you like, you're going to seek it everywhere you go.

Does that make sense?

You needed me.

Okay, wait.

No, I'm liking this.

That's number one.

Nobody else.

Number two.

When you look at the kids, right?

One kid, the mother took her son to Walmart and told the kid, go steal something.

I'm going to keep the security guard occupied.

The kid got caught by another security guard.

The mother...

Said, oh, he was sexually harassing me.

Well, I'm gonna have to drop all the charges.

You know, when sexual harassment come in, you gotta drop.

The other kid, the dad asked Michael for $20 million.

I wrote a movie, Mike, give me $20 million so I can make it.

Mike said no.

A week, two weeks later, Mike touched my kid.

What are the chances?

Of that happening, then here goes the most credible evidence.

Two things, one, the legal secretary who was taking notes for the kid, the son, for the kid, the dad, and the lawyer, right?

She said, and she quit, she said they was writing ways on how to get Michael.

So you remember the kid said he has a birthmark on his penis.

I don't remember this, but...

He has a birthmark in his private area, right?

Oh, no, it's a private area.

Yeah, now we've got the censored version.

So...

You know what happened?

Tell me.

So Michael used to tell the kids, my bedroom is forbidden.

Do not come upstairs in my bedroom.

Yeah.

But, you know, kids don't listen.

Kids ran up there.

You're saying he knew that kids don't listen?

No, no, no, no.

We know kids don't listen.

Okay, okay.

One of the kids ran up there.

Yeah.

Coincidentally saw him coming out the shower and saw him naked.

Huh.

And Michael, what are you doing?

Get out of here.

He ran downstairs, told all the other kids.

So that kid took that other kid's story and told it as his own.

So that kid that ran in and then that quickly saw the birthmark that quickly.

And told all the other kids.

Damn.

But that kid, I'm going to use that in my story.

And so they wrote that down.

So the legal secretary said, wait, I thought your thing was real.

And they was, no, we're going to come up with ways on how to get them.

So she quit.

You know what's weird about it?

One thing I'll suggest the next time you tell the story, just say you have three ways.

You know what I mean?

Well, you did it on the way.

No, the fourth one you don't belong.

Yeah.

The fourth one.

Because three, we're used to three.

Three is good.

Yeah.

I have three ways.

You do the three ways.

We're with you.

And if you really want to do four, I could give you one.

Like Macaulay Culkin hasn't said anything.

Yeah.

I got one better than that.

Yes, but that's one you, the fourth one you did now.

Yeah, the one you said of the kid running into the bedroom.

I didn't even know this story, by the way.

And when you told me this now, I'm a little shaken.

But if it was a small bedroom, I would believe this.

Yes.

That he came out the shower and suddenly was there.

The last and most credible evidence

When the FBI sees his stuff and went through all this stuff, they found nothing.

They found nothing.

These PDF files, right?

They love to put stuff in their computer, love to save pictures.

They found no pictures of anything.

So that's why nothing happened to him.

If that was something, they would have released these pictures.

Trust me, they would have released these pictures.

The whole thing of him being in bed with kids, was that true or not?

Yeah, but you're thinking the other way.

No, no, I'm saying, no, no, no.

He has this huge bed.

He has kids, and they're sleeping.

They're sleeping in the bed.

Okay, whoa, whoa.

I don't know if that's true.

Yo, Eugene.

Yo, man, you're this guy, bro.

I don't ever want to meet you in court, this man.

I don't know if that's true or not, but if it's true...

If it's true, nothing happened.

No, what I'm saying, okay, I was getting to my next part.

Right, yeah.

So let's assume that he was not a pervert, but he didn't mind being in bed with kids.

Would you let your kid be in bed with him?

Yeah.

Okay.

You, me, needed me.

The only way that you can sort of say, you know a scuba diving gear?

Yeah.

Is if he was wearing like that suit.

Do you know what I mean?

Like a full-on wetsuit zipped from top to bottom.

A wetsuit.

Do you know what I'm saying?

But you know what that sounds like?

Sounds like someone who's...

Who's attracted, that they got wetters to keep them from, you know what I'm saying?

That's what that sounds like.

So what you're saying is the real way to show that you're not attracted to them is to lie in bed naked with them.

No, no, no.

This is what you said, Will.

No no damn the one thing I will say is I'm going to watch this movie yeah I mean I'll tell you now before

I was like if I go watch the movie I'll go watch the movie you will still Vince wait can I do something

You know it's a box office smash

Say again?

It's a box office smash.

The public don't care.

It's a huge smash.

I'm not saying the public should or shouldn't care.

Can I tell you why?

I'll tell you why.

This is something that I've grappled with for a very long time.

I wish in society we spent more time discussing or trying to figure out how we deal with retribution, absolution, and accusations when the systems either don't support us or do support us.

Because we live in a world where...

Some people are found innocent of a crime, but then spend the rest of their lives paying for it because they were accused.

We live in a world where some people are accused of something,

And even though that accusation never materializes into anything else, it could even be a fabrication as an accusation, their lives will never be the same.

They carry that thing with them.

They're burdened by it.

Then we also live in a world where law enforcement has shown that it may not have an appetite to pursue certain individuals because they have so much power.

And then after like decades, someone puts out a documentary and we're like, damn, this thing... And then the person's like, yeah, but I was not guilty the whole time.

And you're like, oh yeah, law found you not guilty.

But remember, the law...

Is really just about finding the right person to find the right argument.

That means you cannot be prosecuted or indicted, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you are innocent of the crime.

So it's this weird world that we live in where

Some people's lives are ruined because of an accusation.

Other people's lives are not impaired because of, you know, them being let off for some reason or they found not guilty or whatever it might be.

And some people's lives are ruined because of lack of prosecution.

Yes, and so it's like, and no, I mean this honestly.

I don't think there's one fixed one, but I wish we spent more time talking about that in society because otherwise it just becomes this like messy.

You know, well, I don't think the Michael one is messy at this particular moment in time.

What are you talking about, Willis?

Because what I'm saying at this particular moment in time, people are so, like, think of them releasing this movie.

Yes.

At another time, we're like more, the world is so crazy now that we're like, this thing that Michael did.

No, I don't agree.

I mean, I'm saying it.

I don't agree.

No, I actually just think.

I was saying it in a jokey way.

Oh, damn.

Oh.

You said it completely seriously to me.

No, I was saying it.

Take the scarf off and say it again.

No, I was saying it.

No, no.

Actually, I was saying it in a, in jest.

Because half is real, half is not real.

This is the half that is real.

Yeah.

Is that the world is so crazy now that my little...

It's so crazy.

There's a war.

There's nuclear.

I'm with you.

There's all these...

There's islands.

There's all this that I...

If it was just the Michael thing alone, we'd be like...

But now it's so crazy that it's like, guys, if I like him, well, I don't care.

But you see, I actually think it's more the latter.

I don't think it's that the world is so crazy.

I think now we live in such silos of everything.

That now everyone just goes into that camp and then like we, in a weird way, it's like we don't grapple anymore.

Because we sort of don't have to grapple.

Your social media doesn't make you grapple.

What it does is it puts you with people who agree with you and it shows you the people that you definitely disagree with.

It's easy to move on your social media if you actually think about it.

This video makes you angry.

I knew they were doing that.

This video makes you happy.

Yeah, my team.

Those are easy things.

Echo chambers.

Yeah, but even one is not an, yeah, I mean, an antagonistic echo chamber.

And then I guess one that's, you know, in sync with you.

But the thing that we forget is the heart isn't going against or for, it's the grappling.

One of the hardest things in life is to grapple.

Is the girl who told me this thing a kind person who did a mean thing?

Or is she a mean person who did a kind thing?

Or is this a kind thing at all?

Is it a mean thing at all?

You know what I mean?

Is me having sex with somebody but not intending a long-term relationship, is that a mean thing?

Or is that human nature as well?

Is it bad?

Is it good?

Should I eat some cake and no cake?

Or should I eat a little bit or should I not?

Do you get what I'm saying?

Grappling is one of the hardest things.

And I genuinely think...

Grappling is the thing that we don't practice at all anymore.

We just don't practice it at all.

So the reason I'm saying the Michael thing sort of is like just going, like they can release the movie, is because there's enough people who will just go, hey, bro, I'm not grappling at all.

Michael's 100% in it.

I don't give a damn.

I'm going to go watch this movie.

And then to your point, even in the movie, they don't make you grapple.

So you come in there, and then you're like, ah, I had a great time.

Thank you very much.

You didn't make me grapple.

So I leave this movie.

And then there's a ton of people who are like, I can't believe this movie's out there.

How could they exalt Michael Jackson after all the shit that he's done?

This is a travesty.

They'll never go watch the movie.

But they too will not grapple.

But they voted for Trump.

No, not necessarily.

But you find they won't grapple.

You know what I mean?

But they just won't grapple, I find.

So I think, I actually think...

This is just my assertion, but I actually think that's the reason that they can release it is because the grappling is actually a thing that makes it hard to put something like that out.

Oh, yes, for sure.

It's when people go, I don't know how to feel.

If people hate something or if people love something, it's actually quite easy to make it a success.

Yeah.

Okay, what about this?

Like in wrestling is a good example.

In wrestling, you have the wrestlers that people hate.

The heel.

And then you have the wrestlers that people love.

No one cares about those ones.

You care about the heel.

No, but what I'm saying is people love, you love The Rock when he's the hero.

You hate The Rock when he's the heel.

You love John Cena when he's the hero.

You hate John Cena when he's the heel.

Okay, here's the question.

No, but listen to what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is what they won't tolerate in wrestling

Is like indifference yeah the no the guys where you're like i don't know how i feel about him i'm like i don't have to be extreme yeah because that's an easier thing boo

Yeah, but that one confuses us.

We don't know what to do.

We don't know how to deal with it.

And the most important thing I'm saying is we don't practice it.

So we cut off friends who, you know, yeah, I found out that they actually like leather goods.

They're out of my life.

Why?

No, because I can't be with somebody who wears a dead animal on them.

Okay, so they're out of your life.

What about you?

Yeah, no, this person, you know, they don't pray anymore before they eat their food.

They're out of my life.

Then it's like, okay, but do you grapple?

Okay, I get your grappling.

Let me just say, okay, let me restage what I said.

If we rewind six years ago or so, the climate that was, remember, there was a different climate.

Yes.

Let's say when, I don't want to phrase them that way, but when wokeness was heavy.

Okay, yes.

A movie like this is the antithesis of the climate in which we live.

That's exactly what happened was that people said that's over.

People have just decided it's over.

Now, a person who you truly love, Michael Jackson, because a lot of people love him because he was part of their life, you know, that kind of thing in terms of growing up.

There's a movie about him.

Previously, in that time, your grappling thing, you might have been, man, I love him so much.

But now, when people have said, yeah, guys...

You do you.

People are like, let's make it a box office match.

That's exactly what I mean.

They're like, this is not the time to tell me to not... That's exactly what I'm saying.

Not now.

Yes, because we just...

But release this five years before it's going to flop because people will be like...

Yes, but that's exactly what I'm saying.

And that's what I'm saying.

That is one of the worst things that can happen for people because it means a Trump voter cannot grapple with the fact that his family is using the administration to enrich him.

You're like...

Because in South Africa, we're comfortable with that.

We'd be like, oh, that's corruption.

We know it very clearly.

We see what you're doing.

In Africa, we're like, yeah, we know this.

Oh yeah, and then your kids make billions and oh yeah, you've got contracts coming.

Oh yeah, this is corruption.

And you would even be able to say, it is corruption, but I still like some of your policies.

You get what I'm saying?

I just don't like you stealing.

Yeah, but I just don't like you stealing.

Or I even just acknowledge that you're stealing.

Or you steal some for us.

Yeah, but I'm saying, but to your point, this is what I'm saying, Dave, is the grappling is the thing that we're losing.

And if you can't grapple,

It just pushes people and then almost nobody deals with a reality that's inconvenient for them.

Yeah, and I feel like in the Michael Jackson story, he could have been two things at the same time.

He could have been this great performer that everyone loved, but he could have had that dark side.

That only those kids experienced than everyone else because obviously the number of people that love him were far more and greater than the number of people that accused him.

And we also don't know to what degree.

That's what I mean by grappling.

So Michael Jackson could have been, again, I'm not saying this is or isn't, but he could have been a person where

He liked that a kid would occasionally walk in on him naked because we also know people do this.

Do you know what I mean?

To your point of like

Years ago, when Me Too was happening, how many of the stories were, oh, the guy would be in a bathrobe when the housekeeping in the hotel would walk in and you're like, oh, so this is a fetish some people have is being busted, you know?

So that could have been a thing.

I'm not saying that it is, and I'm not saying that it isn't, but I personally am saying for myself, I think it's more important to be like grappling with that.

Like, I love those movies.

You know, it's like a biopic where you go, how do you feel after the movie?

And you're like, I don't know, man.

I mean, I still think they're one of the greatest artists and I love, but there's one part of the story that, you know,

It just made me feel like a certain... You know why?

Because to be human is to grapple, Will.

I think it would have been more powerful to show the audiences and people that love them the scenario that he was in and let them decide.

Yes.

No, no, but another thing about that...

That part of his life did not happen yet.

No, no, I'm saying that they could have.

No, they could have if they wanted to.

You're making it seem like the movie ended because it had to there.

They chose whatever they wanted to put on.

There's a part two.

No, no, wait.

We're saying here now.

We're not at part two yet.

Yeah, I'm telling you there's a part two.

Part two's coming out.

Yeah.

You're 100% sure about this?

Hold on.

The director said if part one does not do well, he's not going to release part two.

He said there's so much about Michael he can't put all in one movie.

It's almost like saying, Eugene, you failed that math test in college.

I'm still talking about me in high school.

Okay, okay.

No, then we tabled it.

So it was like, we didn't get there yet.

But Will, if this sequel doesn't come out, you, me.

Can I do something with y'all real quick?

Yeah, do it.

What you got?

So, you know how people always compare Michael, hey, who's better, Michael or Prince, or Michael and Elvis?

Yeah.

The only person I feel that you could compare yourself with is yourself, right?

Because it's not fair to you or it's not fair to the other person.

Everybody had their own path and got to where they are.

You know, him asking me, how do you get that urge to lose?

I can't tell you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I came up with a list of songs.

Of Michael's, like which is better?

You guys on first name basis now.

That's the name of the movie, Michael.

Oh, sorry.

She's Out of My Life or Lady of My Life.

You know both songs?

Oh, you want us to choose?

Lady of My Life.

She's Out of My Life.

Why?

I mean, I like girls.

She's out of my life.

Why?

Because he cried when he was recording it.

I like that one too.

So she's out of my life.

Quincy Jones had it, right?

And Michael said, what's that?

And Quincy Jones said, oh, no.

Whose phone is ringing?

That's me.

Michael goes, Quincy Jones said, oh, no, I'm going to give that to Lionel Richie.

And Michael goes, can I?

And he sang it in the office, and he was crying.

And Quincy was like, I got to give this song to Michael.

Like he was performing it and crying.

I don't know the song, but anyway.

Okay, bad or beat it?

Beat it.

Yeah, beat it.

Beat it?

Yeah.

Beat it.

Why?

Because that's what you did after you decided you don't want to...

Gonna say that i think you're gonna say that oh man oh okay okay so you said bad you said beat it

Yeah we all said beat it yeah beat it was pretty uh smooth criminal you like smooth criminal

No that's the next song that's the second song yeah or billy jean smooth criminal

Smooth Criminal.

Over Billie Jean?

Dave?

Billie Jean.

But I will say this brilliant matchup.

That's a great matchup.

Brilliant matchup.

That's fire.

Like, I can't say no to your...

I can't just say... Yeah, no, that's fantastic.

I can't just dismiss Smooth Criminal.

You did well there.

Okay, okay, okay.

Black or...

This is going to be easy.

This is a bad matchup.

Black or white or man in the mirror?

Man in the mirror.

That's a terrible one.

Delete that and start again.

Dangerous or Dirty Diana?

Dirty Diana.

This is also bad.

Let me skip that one.

What was it?

Let's judge you.

Okay.

Remember the time of Liberian Girl.

Liberian Girl.

That's not the worst.

Liberian Girl?

That's not the worst matchup, by the way.

It's not a bad matchup at all.

I actually don't think that's a bad matchup.

You guys picked Liberian Girl for Remember the Time?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

In a minute.

Yeah, no, no, no.

Okay.

Earth Song or Heal the World?

Heal the World.

Heal the World is better than Earth Song.

They're not good.

I mean, thematically, but strength-wise, no.

The Way You Make Me Feel or P.Y.T.?

P.Y.T.

Yo.

Any day.

PYT is a brilliant song and PYT is better, but The Way You Make Me Feel did not deserve to be not a winner.

If like, but PYT, yes.

One more.

Damn, yeah, that's hard.

This is a good matchup.

All right, we're going to come back.

No, no, no.

I'll go with the way you make me feel.

Okay.

Don't stop till you get enough?

Yeah.

Or want to be starting something?

Brilliant matchup.

I want to be starting something.

I would... Don't stop till you get enough for me.

Should I tell you a funny thing about that?

You're going to get a suit.

You're going to get a suit, just so you know.

Will must sing all the songs.

Want to be starting something is...

Continuing the thing that don't stop till we get enough.

The hard work don't stop till we get enough.

Do you remember how don't start till you get enough starts?

The hard work of don't...

He's mumbling.

Whoa!

Don't stop until you get enough is better.

Don't stop until...

Okay.

Human nature or rock with you?

Human nature.

What?

I rock with you.

I have a...

Okay, now we're going to switch it to Young Michael.

Whoa, there's more albums.

No, Will.

Let's end this podcast.

This just turned into like a musical.

How many more did you have?

This guy had three albums.

No, four more.

Four more songs.

You had four more.

Four more songs or four more albums?

Four more songs.

All right, four more songs.

Let's go.

Got to be there or never can say goodbye.

Got to be there, be there.

I mean, never could say goodbye.

Only because I'm more familiar with it.

I don't know either one.

A, B, C, or I want you back.

Hard, hard.

I want you back.

But again, good matchup.

But, wow.

Two more.

Who's Loving You Now, Who's Loving You, or Never Could Say Goodbye?

Who's Loving You.

I absolutely love Who's Loving You.

You can smell Smokey Robinson on that song.

Okay, last one.

Rockin' Robin or Ben?

Because they're about anime.

Ben.

I don't know either one.

I'll choose...

Both are odd songs to me, I will say, even though people, you know what I mean?

Ben is a win.

They say he's singing to a mouse or whatever it is.

You know what I mean?

It's an odd thing.

It's a rat, first of all.

A rat, whatever it is.

Yeah, it's like worse.

Okay, Ben, yeah.

All rats gotta die.

Those are odd songs to me.

This was dope, man.

All right, thanks, man.

Thanks for having me back.

Who canceled?

This guy.

Nobody canceled, man.

Yo, leave that low self-esteem outside.

We put a mirror behind you so you can see who he really is, man.

Look at the back there.

Look behind you.

You see who you are?

You're our friend.

Nobody canceled.

It was dope, Will.

Thank you, man.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me.

This was really great.

And I guess go watch the movie.

Yeah, go watch the movie.

This was a great promo.

I'm in.

What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Day Zero Productions in partnership with Sirius XM.

The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yamin, and Jess Hackle.

Rebecca Chain is our producer.

Our development researcher is Marcia Robiu.

Music, mixing, and mastering by Hannes Braun.

Random other stuff by Ryan Parduth.

Thank you so much for listening.

Join me next week for another episode of What Now?

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