You know those people who seem to pick up languages overnight, like magic?
They absorb words like a sponge.
They understand everything.
And you look at them thinking, wow, they're so talented.
I wish I had that gift.
Meanwhile, others, even after studying for years, get stuck.
They reach a certain level, but fluency still feels far away.
They struggle to understand fast speech, they freeze when speaking, and they feel very uncomfortable every time they're not using their native language.
So what's the deal?
Is that really about having the talent or is there something else going on?
Personally, I do believe that some people have a natural inclination for languages.
Perhaps they just genuinely enjoy learning languages.
But at the same time, I believe that anyone can reach fluency at their own pace.
So the real question is, why do some learners get fluent and others don't?
Some time ago, I stumbled upon a short Instagram post and I absolutely loved it.
Let me read it for you.
Some learners never learn to accept ambiguity.
The feeling of not understanding.
But you need to embrace the fact that you will not understand everything and that it's normal instead of seeing yourself as a failure.
And I thought,
Yes, this is it.
This is exactly what I had in mind.
I just didn't know how to put it into words.
This is the missing mindset for so many learners.
Let's break it down.
So first of all, what is ambiguity?
Simply put, ambiguity means not understanding everything completely and being okay with that.
It's that stage when you're listening to a conversation and you understand some parts of it,
But not all of it.
Maybe you catch the main idea, but some words go right over your head.
And guess what?
That's completely normal.
There's a stage in language learning when you start to follow conversations more and more
And you're so excited because you're finally getting it.
But then a native speaker comes along and speaks super fast or they use slang or they discuss a topic you've never heard before.
And suddenly you understand half of the sentence, but not the other half.
This is not failure.
This is not proof that you are bad at languages.
This is just a natural unavoidable stage of becoming fluent.
The real problem is that many learners cannot accept or embrace this ambiguity.
They panic when things aren't 100% clear.
They think, oh my goodness, I don't understand this.
That means I'm a failure.
I'm not good enough.
I'm never going to be fluent in this language.
They switch into this so-called school mindset mode.
Remember at school, we were taught that not understanding is a bad thing.
You would lose points for that.
You would get bad marks for that.
But language learning in real life does not work like that.
If you associate language learning with frustration, tension, or negativity, your brain will try to protect you.
It will come up with tons of excuses to avoid the language altogether.
And this is one major reason why people get stuck instead of moving towards fluency.
Over the years, I've taught many students and I would say I could divide them into two categories or two groups, regardless of their level.
So the first group, it's the students who didn't understand every single detail of a listening exercise, but they
Focused on the general idea, the gist, and they did not feel overwhelmed because of not understanding everything.
They stayed calm, they enjoyed the process and the progress that we're making.
And the second group, the students who would get really frustrated or even angry when they didn't understand one sentence, sometimes even one phrase.
Had this one student whose face would immediately turn red
The moment i said okay now we're going to have a listening exercise we are going to watch a short video she would literally get mad at herself at the video at the task or even at me for giving her that task
She kept repeating, oh, I'm awful at this.
I cannot understand anything.
This is just not my thing.
So she was basically programming herself for failure.
And honestly, with that mindset, fluency becomes almost impossible.
We always want to remember that not understanding is part of the process.
Language learning takes time.
You are not slow.
You're not stupid.
You're just learning a new skill.
And at the beginning, you are supposed to not understand.
Think of children for a moment.
Before they understand anything, they listen a lot.
They listen for months and years, and they don't stress about not understanding.
They don't analyze every word.
They just relax.
Absorb and explore.
Of course, we adults are different and we learn differently, but we can still apply this idea, especially when it comes to listening and speaking.
Let me share with you something from my own experience.
A few years ago, I was living in Turkey and I started learning Turkish and Arabic at the same time because these two languages were widely spoken in my area.
And I'm sorry, Turkey, not Turkey.
So as soon as I learned
Basic greetings in these languages and also some verbs and their conjugation i started to consume a huge amount of content like a lot every day i would watch
A TV series, a movie, or a YouTube video.
And I remember that first episode of a TV show in Arabic, I understood almost nothing except for just basic greetings like, hi, how are you?
That was it.
And it didn't bother me that much, you know, because I think because the TV show was really interesting.
I loved the actors and their voices were nice.
I enjoyed the melody of the language.
So I kept watching.
I didn't care that I didn't understand much of it.
So after a while, I don't know when exactly that happened, that transition or the change, but I started understanding 10%, 50%, 20, 30, 40, 50, and more.
I think it was because I embraced that ambiguity and just enjoyed the process.
Also, I was very lucky to have
People around me who I could talk to and they were willing to help me practice my speaking skills because generally speaking Arabic and Turkish people are super nice and friendly
But of course I got lost in conversations many times
And there were a lot of funny misunderstandings and they laughed at me and I looked stupid, but I didn't care.
I kept going.
As the saying goes, fake it till you make it.
And that's exactly what I did.
I faked it till I made it.
And it worked for me.
So my point is, next time you are in a conversation and you don't understand something, try to take a deep breath.
Relax, let it wash over you.
Try to guess from the context and if you can't, move on.
Don't freeze.
Don't overthink.
Don't punish yourself.
Learning a language literally requires you to face the unknown every day.
And the learners who become fluent are not the ones who understand everything from the very beginning.
They are the ones who stay calm and keep going even when things feel unclear they embrace ambiguity
I hope you feel inspired after watching this video if you enjoyed it please give it a thumbs up and subscribe
My name is alva by the way and thank you so much for watching i'll see you next time
