Hi, welcome back to Eat Your Crust Podcast.
I'm Crystal.
And I'm Jisoo.
So it's that time of our lives milestone birthday coming up.
I guess for me it has passed already, but this is our milestone year.
I've already turned 30, but you and a few of our other friends are still waiting to turn 30 this year, so we thought we'd talk about it.
30 is kind of a big age.
I almost view it as like we're turning into real adults.
It does kind of feel that way.
And you can tell it's an important milestone because I was talking to some co-workers at work talking about how my birthday was coming up.
Everyone was like, oh, is it the big birthday?
And I was like, oh my god, there's a term for it?
Wait, that happened to me last year too.
One of my coworkers was like, oh my God, it's your birthday.
Is it the big three O?
And I was like, oh no, it's not.
I feel like this is the first year too, since we all turned 21, where I feel the gap between someone who turned 30 versus someone who's still 29, and it's not a real gap.
It's not like almost a physical gap, like being 21 versus being 20 was because We can all coexist at a bar together now.
But it's just, I got to milk it for all it's worth right now until I turn 30 as well.
That's true.
It's like crossing a line.
But I do think overall it doesn't feel that different in terms of, you know, purely physical and like that kind of stuff.
But you're right.
Metaphorically, it does feel there's something that changed.
Like I'm on this side now.
You feel so much wiser than me right now.
I don't know about you, but I feel like as I get older, I tend to just say my age based on the year instead of based on if I've crossed my birthday or not.
Interesting.
I feel like I still wait till I've crossed that age, but I have a slightly later birthday.
You know, my birthday is like two thirds into the year and then yours is like slightly earlier.
Yeah.
So we're like rounding.
That's true.
That's true.
I think I might have started when I was around 27, 28.
And even this year for 30, someone asked me my age.
And I think it was maybe February or March.
And I was just like, yeah, I'm 30.
Damn, dude.
I can't.
I'm like clutching on to every ounce of youth that I have until August.
I'm 29.
But I will say, the people who asked me my age in February slash March were people that I newly got to know.
So the moment that word left my mouth, I was like, oh, should I have said 29?
I think it's interesting that you weren't rounding down so that you could enjoy the last few months of being able to say you're in your 20s.
Dude, I don't, I don't know.
Maybe part of it is if I say I'm 29, it's too close to 30.
And then people will be like, oh, like you're almost 30.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah.
That's like a five minute conversation right there.
So I think maybe part of it is that.
But then otherwise okay.
I think another thing is that if I say 29, I will be 30 later in the year, right?
But then what if the person just assumes I'm 29 for this whole year?
I mean, this person has to know that birthdays exist.
But I can understand what you mean.
Then it causes an eventual secondary conversation that needs to happen later on in the year.
So you're like, might as well just pull it up a couple months.
Yeah, exactly.
And sometimes it does.
Like, if I just say 29, or even preface it by saying like 29, but turning 30 soon, then people will start asking like oh, what year were you born?
To like get more clarifying information, you know what I mean?
Yeah, I mean, I guess the birth year thing makes sense.
It's actually my preferred way of thinking about age.
And I think it's like a common thing in Korea maybe, where instead of being like oh, I'm 30 or 31, a lot of people will be like oh, I'm 96, I'm 97.
And it just makes so much more sense to me.
But my question to you is do you feel like the people that were asking you your age, the people that you were trying to get to know, were they older than you?
Because maybe that's also a reason why you didn't feel the need to be like, I'm 29.
Well, I thought they were around my age, which was mostly true.
But there was one person who was like 25 or 26.
And then there was another person who was a little older, maybe like mid 40s.
Yeah, I feel like in front of older people, I do less of like the clutching on to my youth bit.
But I feel obligated to do it in front of young people.
I'm like, guys, I'm just like you, also young.
Okay, I can totally see that.
I also feel like when I'm around older people, I try to avoid saying stuff like oh my god, I'm so old.
Oh, yeah, I feel that.
But I say that a lot around younger people or people the same age right, sometimes it's like a habit for me to make jokes like that, like oh, we're so old blah blah, and then it'll slip out in front of older people and they'll give me a hard time and i'm like sorry, guys.
Yeah, they're like wait, you're literally so young.
And i'm like my bad For our current recording time.
We're basically a week into you being in your 30s.
So I want to ask you, how does this make you feel?
Oh my god, you're right.
We're like basically exactly a week in.
Day to day doesn't feel too differently, but there is definitely some things that I noticed as I reflect back on my age one week.
I actually was freaking out a little bit right before I turned 30.
Oh, no.
It wasn't necessarily that it was like, oh my God, I'm going to be 30.
It was more like, oh my God, I'm getting older.
And then I literally went from like, oh my God, I'm getting older.
Before you know it, I'll be 40 and then I'll be 50.
And then like everyone around me will start dying and then I'll die.
Oh my God.
And I was like, I can't think about this right now.
Like a full-on existential crisis.
But I will say maybe the bigger thing about turning 30 is that this is the age where women are no longer in their prime, according to media.
And we've talked about this before in the podcast too.
And it's also just crazy thinking about us talking about this and thinking 30 was so far away.
Oh, how wrong we were.
It crept up on us really fast.
It was right around the corner.
And everyone always says that too.
I feel like older people are always like, oh, you make these jokes now, but you'll be 30 soon.
And you laugh it off.
You wake up one day and you're like, wait, it's the year.
Yeah.
And I think it maybe puts into perspective even more just how insane that is that people start thinking about you differently when you're a 30 year old woman.
You know, part of the things that we talked about before is women start to get mom roles instead of cool leading roles.
Right.
Once they cross that 30 age.
Although I will say I do feel like it's a little better currently, but like it still kind of happens.
Yeah, totally.
I think you are right.
Recently, it seems like it's cool to have an older woman, like younger man interaction.
Whereas before I feel like it was always a man 10 years older than like a 19 year old actress or something.
Yeah, but you know, Nicole Kidman's been getting cool roles, like Anne Hathaway's been getting cool roles, so it feels a little bit less high pressure for us women, but at the same time yeah, I mean we can't just ignore the media that we've been consuming since we were like four or five years old right, absolutely.
Also, you know how there's that k drama called 39.
Yeah, i remember seeing well, i haven't watched it before, but i remember seeing it on netflix and thinking wow, that's like so far away.
And now i'm like dude, it's honestly not that far away.
Considering how fast our 20s went.
I'm like damn, should I watch it?
Will I be able to relate to them now that I'm in my 30s?
Bro, you're still like nine years away.
But you know, in this week of 30 year oldness maybe I've experienced a lot of things that they have to
I do wonder, there's a different air about being in your 30s versus being in your 20s, right?
I feel like the connotations around being in your 20s is maybe like you can be more adventurous.
It's your time to explore and do things that you really want to do.
And then when you get into your 30s, there still is some of that energy.
But I feel like it's diluted a little bit with more of responsibilities, you know, like long term planning type of thing.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like there's definitely more responsibilities.
And I also feel like it's different when you tell people you're in your 20s versus when you tell them you're like 30 or 30 plus.
You just sound more responsible.
Yeah.
Immediate clout.
Don't you think it's different?
Doesn't it feel different if I'm like oh yeah, I'm 28, versus I'm like oh, I'm 30 yeah, yeah.
Actually that's a really good point, because the immediate example that i have is, if i'm talking to someone who's like 24 25, they're like oh, i live in an apartment.
I imagine a completely different apartment than if i was talking to someone who was like 31 or 32 and they're like i live in an apartment.
I'm like imagining two different worlds.
You know, Oh my god, that is so true.
That 30 year old apartment is like way cleaner and more put together.
Bigger, nicer, real furniture.
No roommates, unless it's like your partner, I guess.
Like actual kitchen.
Oh my god, that is so true.
And I think I also feel it a bit.
Telling people that I'm in my 20s, no matter what range of it, if it's on the older side or the younger side, it always made me feel quite young.
Right.
But then now if I tell people I'm 30, I feel like sorry, this is going to be controversial, but I feel like more middle-aged sorry, not middle-aged as in like literally you know, like 50s and stuff, but like i'm, i'm closer to that in terms of maturity maybe, than i am to the 20s mindset.
Okay, that's kind of what i feel.
Now that you explained it a little bit, I understand it.
But the shock of hearing you say middle-aged.
My bad, my bad.
Conceptually, conceptually ill.
But you're right.
Maybe it's like the second you turn 30, you're like officially a true adult.
And then when you're in your 20s, you can kind of round down to, like your college years or, you know, reference those times a little bit more.
Like it feels closer.
But now that you're in your 30s, it's like, no, you graduated from your 20s.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like it's a brand new decade.
Yeah.
Okay.
Also, it was trippy was I didn't think too hard about it.
Right.
I was like, yeah, this is a brand new decade.
But then I saw someone write like a Instagram caption.
It was like entering my fourth decade.
And I was like, wait.
What do you mean the fourth decade?
And then I counted and I was like, wait, yeah, zero to 10 is a decade.
Oh, no.
Zero to 10, 10 to 20, 20 to 30.
Oh, no.
Like we're literally entering our fourth decade.
Shit, we might be middle aged.
But on the flip side, I feel like being 29.
I think we might have talked about this before, but being 29, you're like one of the unks of people in their 20s, you know.
But being 30, you're like one of the babies of people in their 30s.
Oh, wait, I didn't really think about it that way.
But you're right.
Right?
You're like a freshman.
Yeah.
Back to a baby.
Yeah.
But like an old baby.
A middle-aged baby.
To the younger people, I'm old.
But to everyone older than me, I'm a baby.
Exactly.
Ooh, okay, okay.
That kind of feels nice.
But also, this is still a gripe of mine.
It's been going on for the past 10 years or so.
I am still the youngest person at work.
Dude, that's actually crazy to me.
I can't believe.
I just can't believe it because I work with so many younger people and I'm like what do you mean?
You're still the youngest person.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Actually, there is this one person at work.
I'm not sure about her age, but she does sit in the same office as me, but we don't really work together.
She is like probably the closest to my age on my floor, but I'm too scared to ask her how old she is.
I guess it's kind of a hard question to ask naturally too.
It has to like come up.
Otherwise it feels a little rude to be like, how old are you?
But like out of all the people that I work with on a regular day to day, still the youngest.
There is one person that I mentioned before who is like just one year older than me, but she is not in the Bay Area.
So everyone that I work with around me in person is still kind of significantly older than me.
That's kind of nice, though.
I feel like that makes you feel young, you know?
But like maybe too young.
Oh, what do you mean?
I don't think it really happens, actually.
It's probably more in my head.
But I feel like maybe people know I'm young.
So then there's not really a bias, but like oh, you know, this person's like our young person on the team.
Oh, I see, like professionally it feels like your age has some sort of weight to it, maybe a little bit, because also a lot of the people who I work with have been with a company for like I don't know 10 years or more, and then I'm like kind of still a baby in that sense.
Oh, I see, I feel like the professional lens is does kind of suck, but socially i kind of enjoy being the younger person in a group, because then i feel like the jokes that are made are so easy, all like low-hanging fruit like oh haha, i don't know this.
There's so many ways that you can play up the age card, but i can see how, in a work sense, it's a little bit annoying.
I do always tell my team lead, though.
I'm like, can we hire a Gen Z person?
But maybe one of the biggest things is sometimes people will maybe make some references.
They'll be like, oh, not sure if Crystal will get this one.
I don't know.
Be careful what you wish for.
Oh.
As someone who works with a lot of Gen Z, who are very, very Gen Z.
It's interesting.
I feel like I notice a lot of differences in like working style or even like the things that they talk about.
It's just different, right?
There's a little bit of a generational gap, even though we're not too, too far off in age.
And it makes me feel ancient, like a dinosaur.
I'm like, you guys are so young.
Dude, but you're like in it.
Like you're basically Gen Z. No, I realized recently that I've been LARPing.
What was something that made it obvious or made you feel that way?
I think I had an inflated sense of I'm Gen Z because one, I consume a lot of TikToks.
So I try to keep up with the trends and like the streamer drama and whatever things that I thought Gen Z liked.
We had our slang word slash Gen Z word segment on our show for a while.
So then that really helped.
I was incorporating a lot of this stuff into my vocabulary.
And then, when I was face to face with all these Gen Z at my work, I found it hard to use these words around them, because they were more Gen Z than me.
Oh, you know what i mean?
It was like i was using a vernacular that i wasn't supposed to be, and i realized that i wasn't truly gen z, i was just pretending to be one.
Oh my god wait no, but like you just talk like that normally, so you're not pretending.
Well OK, that's what I thought too.
But I had this fear of like oh my God, they're going to think I'm a dinosaur, using these words in front of them.
Also, I think because at work I try to present slightly more mature than I actually.
Fair, fair.
Yeah.
It's like normal.
Right.
To be like more professional and kind of put together.
So then I wasn't trying to be like saying mog or whatever gen z slang at the workplace.
Yeah, there's a gap between us, there's a divide.
You're like, don't let me mug you on the spreadsheets.
I should have just owned it.
Honestly, You would have to code switch at work.
Like you turn around and you're talking to older people in a professional, like normal way.
And then you turn around to talk to younger people and you're using all the slang.
Well, okay.
Actually, if I want to do like a more in-depth analysis, I realized that it's not really just the sling.
I think you're right.
The sling does come more naturally to me, but I'm only Gen Z in my mind and in my words.
I think like Gen Z to an extent.
And then I speak like a Gen Z but I don't dress like one or i don't like do my hair like a gen z.
Yeah, and then that made me really feel like i was role playing, because i would have to like come out as a gen z, you know, because i'm like an internal gen z, but millennial presenting, oh my god.
Okay also, side note for our listeners larping stands for live action role playing.
It originates from streaming, because there's like a game where a lot of streamers basically role play as they play it.
So that's where LARPing game comes from.
That's what I've been doing on the daily.
Dude, see, that's so Gen Z of you to say you're LARPing.
Oh, dude.
But when you look at me, I'm like a millennial.
Okay, but do Gen Z people dress very Gen Z in the office?
Like is it very obvious that they're at my work?
Yes oh, they're like very gen z whoa, which is kind of cool.
I feel like there's like a sense of corporate freedom that gen z has.
They just dress like how they normally would.
I'm like that's nice, But I feel like Gen Z is like super casual right.
It's like very baggy clothes and like loose fitting falling off their shoulders, sometimes like the jacket, you know.
I think they probably don't go like full out, but 90 of what they normally wear.
I assume they're like work in the office.
I see, I see.
Yeah.
Well, to be fair, Bay Area tends to be a little more casual too.
Right.
Okay.
See, I just don't know this because there's no Gen Z people in my office.
There's no true Gen Zers.
Yeah.
But sometimes I do look at them and I'm like, wow, when I was your age.
I also felt like I had my entire life ahead of me, you know?
Okay, but what if you just started dressing more Gen Z?
I actually wonder if that is the transition that happens around our age.
Oh.
Because I noticed that some of the older people at my workplace, they dress kind of Gen Z.
Oh, yeah.
Because they're like on the trends, right?
Yeah, exactly.
They're at an age where maybe they don't feel like they have to dress older, to look more professional and put together because they are solid in their careers.
Like people know them.
They're well established.
So then they can kind of dress more casual.
Yeah.
So I was like yeah, maybe the transition is like now like 30 to like 33 or 34, where you go full circle, you like graduate into being able to wear casual clothes again.
Okay, because i will say, in our casual day-to-day you don't dress super old, you dress kind of a mix of millennial and gen z uh-huh oh, thank you.
But then i remember seeing you at work one time and at work you dress like mid-30s to like early 40s, like you got that professional air on.
Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe it's just a me thing.
I feel like my mom has always been like, you have to dress super professional at work.
My dad is a wear a suit every day type of person.
So maybe this is isolated to just me.
Yeah, you should embrace the tech culture.
That is true.
That is true.
Okay, I might have exaggerated a bit.
Because I can also imagine your outfit Gen Z-ified a bit.
Your work outfit that I saw you in one time.
But that time that I saw you, it was pretty put together, you know.
Dude, that day you were so shocked to see me.
You were like, whoa, you're so quiet and like chilled out when you're at the workplace.
I was like, oh my God, stop perceiving me.
You were like a different person.
You're very demure and like very proper.
Wow, never felt so exposed in my life.
I do want to ask you, because now that you're in your 30s, you've essentially unlocked a new decade.
And with every new chapter of your life comes goals, I think, at least for me.
Do you have any goals that you want to accomplish in your 30s?
I do have a goal.
I have made a goal and it's kind of this decade's focus.
The TLDR of this goal is that I'm trying to reach a really high level in a certain activity.
Oh, I see now.
But I don't want to say it out loud too many times.
I'm not trying to jinx it.
I'm not super sure if I can reach the highest level, but I think I can reach definitely a very high level.
So entering my 30s, that is a big goal.
And I think you can also even extend into mid to late 40s.
Honestly, it could even extend into 50s.
But I think like the foundation of the school, though, is to be a little more active and stay fit.
We've talked about this a lot on the podcast this past like year or so.
And I think it just goes to show our age.
Fuck.
Like this is just it becomes an increasingly important slash big chunk of your mind.
Yeah.
That's like, hey, we're not invincible teenagers slash 20 year olds anymore.
So we do need to be a bit more intentional with that. being active and healthy.
Maybe that is just the foundational goal.
Building and keeping those good habits to maintain throughout our older age.
Normally I'm like a kind of aggressive slash fast driver.
Like I tend to speed, but recently in the last few weeks, I was like Whoa, should I like slow down on the road.
Like it sounds so dumb, but it just felt so normal to me in my twenties, you know?
And now that I'm nearing my thirties, I was like, I should probably be more safe.
Oh, yeah.
Build safer habits, including staying under the speed limit or at speed limit or near traffic speed or whatever the safest thing is.
So I can totally understand.
But with your new goal setting mindset...
I want to know if anything has changed between like, how you approach goal setting now versus in your 20s.
Do you feel more serious about it?
You know, has anything shifted?
I actually was reflecting on this a bit and I'm actually going to go all the way back to like teens and stuff.
Yeah.
I realized that in high school, college, I just didn't have goals.
I didn't really have many real goals because we had our goals set for us.
It was like graduate high school, get into college, finish college, get a job.
It wasn't as much of your own personal thought out, I want to do these things in the next year.
Right.
So graduating college and early 20s and entering the rest of my 20s, I was learning how to goal set, because then we're really thrown out into the world.
We don't have graduate from college kind of thing or like finish school kind of goals anymore.
It was like, all right, just figure it out on your own.
So I think I did have some goals, but I was also figuring out what goals even mean, I guess.
Because if I reflect back, some of the bigger goals I had in my 20s were like live alone.
I'm like, did I even have work goals?
I'm not sure if I did.
Like have a job, you know.
It was a little more simplistic and maybe like more short term.
Like, oh, I think I can accomplish this in the next six months to a year.
So that's how I kind of approach things.
But now I'm like, oh, I kind of know how to set goals.
And I've experienced like a decade in my 20s of learning more about myself and figuring what I like and what I don't like in this like unrestrained world that we live in now.
So I think now when I make goals, maybe it's a little more detailed almost, or like, in order to reach this goal, I'm going to need to do like these things.
So I think it's a little more organized, I guess.
Actually a really funny example is you know how we have to write our expectations or whatever at work.
Uh-huh.
I was looking back at my old ones and they're literally just so.
It's like one sentence, like super vague and very like almost bullet points, like you know.
And then at the end of the year, I kind of clean it up for the year end review.
But then this year in my 30th year.
I was writing my expectations and I wrote these like super detailed, like professional ass looking expectations.
And I was like, wow, this is character development.
I guess it is to an extent a skill, right?
The goal setting.
Yeah.
It's interesting.
I feel like I had maybe a different growth development from you because I almost set too many goals.
And it was so many things I wanted to do that it was haphazard and all of them were short term.
So then it was cramming all these unachievable things into life one year increments or something and now that I'm a little older I feel like I was able to kind of take a step back and maybe set like one or two goals and cap it at that.
That was my internal growth, you know, like being able to streamline it and like simplify it so that it makes sense as a goal.
And it's crazy that these, like soft skills, are things that we've been working on without even realizing.
It wasn't like we were intentionally like, we need to be better goal setters.
For sure.
Just thinking about the example that I had brought up earlier, where I was like my goal is to live alone.
That's like a very straightforward goal, right?
But then when I shared how like I have that other goal that is vague for our 30s.
But, you know, it has like a foundational goal to bolster it.
That's like things I wouldn't really do in my 20s.
Yeah, and I think it's very cool how long-term the trajectory is too.
One.
It gives you time and space to grow into it and really work into it, without having to rush things.
And it also, I think, just showcases to me the different mindset that you have.
You have this one big, cool goal and you're not afraid to commit the next, however many years it takes to like achieve it, versus in our 20s it was like annual goals or maybe like smaller things.
Right, it's almost like i'm less afraid to make a goal my own school.
Sorry, this makes no sense, but like when we enter school, as i mentioned, like the ultimate goal is hey, we need to graduate, hopefully right, But then now it's like there's no structure.
But then I'm like, okay, well, maybe I can put in some structure with some goals.
You're like setting up your own curriculum, your own equivalent to exams or, you know, midterms or whatnot, and setting up your own milestones.
So it's kind of an interesting evolution for myself.
Yeah.
I'm now Charmeleon.
And when I'm 50, maybe I'll be Charizard.
In your sixth decade.
Okay, I also have this feeling and let me know if you feel the same way.
But I realized, as I was thinking about 30 and getting closer to my birthday, that 30 feels kind of like a midpoint.
It feels like a midpoint to life.
Whoa.
In what way?
When I really thought about it at first, I'm like, wait, but that's wrong.
We can live up to like 70, 80, especially nowadays with modern medicine.
But then I guess what I realized was most people try to retire around their 60s.
So maybe it feels like a midpoint.
In like career almost.
Working age.
Yeah.
But then that's also not completely true because we didn't start working till we're like 20.
Right.
I thought you were going to say it in the other way of every year that you live, the time that you experience, one day or one year, for example, is a smaller and smaller fraction of what you have experienced already.
You know.
So, like each incremental fraction time, or like the perceived time that you experience, with each year smaller and smaller, you know true yeah, a year when you're 30 is 1, 30th of your life, versus a year when you're two is like half your life.
Yeah, so then in that sense, time isn't linear.
So then maybe it is kind of our halfway point.
Whoa, maybe In my mind, and this is probably a bad way to look at it.
I'm like, dude, 60s, that's when we like we really slow down and her function is just not the same.
So this is kind of a halfway point to that.
Oh, I see.
Halfway to like our peak status, I guess, as people, like our human functional status.
I don't know, do you ever feel like 30 seems almost like a midpoint?
30 to me, no, but 40 does seem like a midpoint.
Oh, okay.
I just don't have this concept of a midpoint when I think about life, because I feel like with each decade comes new challenges and new experiences that you unlock.
It's like a chapter book, you know?
Every chapter has a different story versus running a mile and you're like halfway through.
Right.
That's probably a better way to look at things.
Shit, I don't know.
Maybe once I turn 30, I'll be like, dude, 30, this is the midpoint of our fucking life.
The twilight of our life.
I think maybe another thing is that the biological clock becomes really real when we're 30 as women.
So maybe that's another reason it makes me feel almost like we're at some sort of like mid slash turning point.
Well, with modern medicine, it's like a lot better.
But I remember we were talking with our nurse friend and she was like dude.
Anyone over 32 gets labeled as a geriatric birth.
And we're like, what the fuck?
Now I guess people have kids up until like even late 30s, but they still get labeled as geriatric births.
Yeah, it is so true.
And I think with it comes medical risks that increase or things like that.
It's just like things that...
I don't want to hear as a woman.
I'm like, don't tell me this.
Like, what do you mean I'm 30 and these things are happening?
Yeah, it's actually crazy.
Yeah, with the biological age, it totally is a midpoint.
The childbearing range is such a short window for us.
If someone is willing to have kids between like 22 to 40, 38, 31 is kind of that midpoint age.
And I think also being 30, I think about risk more and you know, i guess maybe it's just because, like all these things are in our ear, a lot about age and body clock wait, biological clock, all that stuff.
But i was kind of reflecting on this too.
In our 20s, freezing eggs and stuff was starting to become more accessible and common right.
So at the time I was like well, I'm very undecided on children as a fail-safe, I can always just freeze my eggs.
It felt like such a simple of course I'd do that.
But now I'm like dude, have you seen the process of freezing your eggs?
So true, it's like wait, I actually have to do this.
Yeah it's, there's much more consideration.
I'm like, okay, well, do I want to do that?
Like there's some I guess not as much risk, but like discomfort and like trouble that you have to go through.
Right.
But yeah, in my 20s it was kind of like, oh yeah, I'll just do that when I'm older.
You know yeah, it's so true, I was thinking about this kind of too, because I mean, I've always wanted to have kids.
So then I knew, like at what age I wanted to have them and in my 20s, like my greatest fear was getting pregnant on accident.
Oh yeah, it was like the scariest thought to me.
And now that I'm almost 30, I feel like the scariest thought to me is not being able to have children.
I'm like, what, when does it switch?
Like at what age does it switch over?
Oh my god, so true.
I think we just become more informed as we get older.
Like we just become more knowledgeable.
We truly didn't know much in our 20s.
Which is a scary thought because I feel like right now I still don't know anything.
But the fact that this is growth, you know, that's terrifying.
I guess with age, it just becomes more and more apparent how little you know.
That is true.
But do you feel like now that you're in your 30s?
Does the age 40 seem different now?
Do you think you look at it differently versus when you were in your 20s?
Dude.
Not really.
Not yet.
It still feels a little far.
And I think it's a little crazy because my mom had me when she was about, I think, 33 or 34.
So 40 is basically the age... that I know my mom at.
Do you know what I mean?
Like when she was 40, I'm like more conscious and like able to have thoughts and stuff.
So that's like the age I met my mom.
So then do you associate 40 with motherhood, parenthood, I guess?
I think I do associate it with being parents.
And maybe part of it is a little scary because I'm weighing the idea of not being a parent.
And I don't know what that looks like.
Yeah, it's true.
I feel like you don't realize how much life experience shapes your attitude towards the world, until you get older.
I was trying to imagine life as like an active and fit mom.
Not that my mom wasn't fit, but I wouldn't consider her like an active person.
Yeah.
And I just had to like use my imagination.
You know what I mean.
I had to like conjure up something from nothing and i was like wait, this is like a fictional, like narrative that i'm playing in my head because i just didn't see it as much growing up.
Yeah dude, same.
My mom's also not.
She's not out there like running marathons, right.
So it's very different.
Like my mom's not hitting the gym.
Yeah, She's not doing Romanian deadlifts on Saturday morning.
The parents that I know were like grinding it out and like stay at home mom taking care of the house and cooking and all that kind of stuff.
And I'm like, wait, what are we going to look like when we're older?
It's a really good point that you bring up though, because I think I also associate being in your 40s with the 40s that I saw my parents live out.
Right.
Sometimes it does scare me a little bit because I'm like, oh OK, your entire life is like parenthood.
You have no time for hobbies.
You have no social life.
All you do is work and then go home and like hang out with your kids and that's it.
Part of me is excited for that, but it's just a life that feels so irrelevant to me right now.
Oh yeah, you know.
But then when i think about my co-workers who are in their 40s running half marathons on the weekends, like going out for lunch with their friends, hanging out, having a vibrant social life, while also being with their kids,
And it scares me so much less.
And I'm like, maybe this fear of 40s stems from my parents.
Maybe.
Jisoo, I'll watch your future child so you can go have fun.
But you have to be having fun with me.
Dude, we'll bring the child.
But if it helps, I have a friend who has a child.
I think they're like almost two now.
And her and her husband just bring the kid along to a lot of hangouts.
And they're still able to have a vibrant social life.
So, yeah.
It's doable.
Yeah.
I just need to like see more examples, I think, to truly understand.
You just need to hold a baby.
Well, I do think the pro is a lot of our friends are in line with you.
They're like, oh, I want to have a kid around the same time as you.
You can all have play dates and stuff.
That's true.
You can gossip while the babies are babbling.
Yeah, maybe my goal for my 30s is to like, redefine and reinvent what 30s 40s, 50s like those decades look like.
You know, because I think there's a ton of different alternative routes out there.
And especially being a child of immigrant parents.
There's a big gap there culturally and generationally.
Yeah.
Reimagining what being an Asian American mom is.
Yeah.
That's so true.
We don't see that many Asian American moms.
Right.
Exactly.
A little more nowadays.
But like when we were growing up, I saw like maybe one or two.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
OK, but then since 30s is getting closer for you.
Are you fearful right now or are you kind of looking forward to it?
I think I actually feel both emotions.
I am excited to be the younger side of a new decade again.
I think that's kind of fun.
There's a lot of milestones waiting for me in my 30s.
I think that I've been looking forward to my whole life.
So in that sense, I am excited for it.
But at the same time, I really enjoyed my 20s.
I think even the parts that felt tough were still very valuable and sentimental moments and the parts that were fun were unbelievably fun.
It feels like I'm leaving behind a life and like storing it into a memory box and putting it away.
You know.
Oh my God.
Goodbye.
Twenties.
Yeah.
What are you going to leave behind from your twenties?
I think I'm already kind of starting to leave behind my partying phase a little bit.
I'm leaving behind my urge to always hang out with people and like fill my entire calendar with social plans.
I don't know, leaving behind a wrinkle-less face, I guess.
Oh no, i'm sure in my 30s i'll i will begin getting botox, so leaving behind my botox free face in this memory box.
Do you have smile wrinkles?
I do same.
I am starting to like really feel this and i'm like i need to go and go to a med spa and get this checked out.
Oh my god, i also like lean into the mirror a lot and look at my forehead.
I have like micro wrinkles.
Really i can't crazy.
I feel like i've never seen anything on you.
If you look really hard and you lean in really close, there's just like micro wrinkles everywhere.
Okay, we can do group trips to the med spa together in our 30s.
New hangout unlocked.
Okay, this is really random.
But for some reason, my mom would break out a lot in her like early to mid 40s.
Literal acne.
And I am fearful of that.
What if that happens to me?
Damn.
I mean, honestly, I started suffering adult acne when I was 19, 20 maybe.
And it started getting worse in like my mid-20s.
And it's the worst.
So it's a valid fear.
Yeah no, i'm also like how do we fix this?
It's clearly some hormonal thing, but then i feel like for a woman, our hormone levels are always just, you know, constantly like doing shit.
Can we even fix this?
Like do we just have to deal with it?
We just have to ride it out.
And I feel like all the cures to acne come with a billion side effects that may be lifelong, or you just have to take a pill every single day at the same time for the rest of your life.
And I'm like, I don't want to do either of those things.
Seriously.
I remember my mom would always get like a facial every week or something where her esthetician would help, you know, manage the acne a bit.
And I literally would just sit there watching and I was like, whoa, I guess it was like pimple popper.
But I was like, whoa.
At the time, I was like, wow, this is so interesting to watch.
Now I'm like, dude, what if that happens to me?
You're like shit, that's a lot of work.
Crazy to think that we still experience hormonal changes and like swings later, and not to mention, if you do end up having kids, all the postpartum things that come with that.
I'm like yeah, there's a lot.
Okay, but I did read something in relation to you know how like women are supposed to take really careful care of their bodies before and during and after pregnancy.
And, like you know, some of the famous things are like you can't eat sushi.
Like no drinking coffee, no drinking, of course, all that stuff.
I read something where someone was like, wait, men should be doing this too.
During the time that you're trying to conceive.
They should also be basically doing the same thing as what women are doing during pregnancy.
Right, right.
To like keep their sperm clean or whatever.
Yeah, make the men do it too.
Yeah, so i'm like okay, we need to like get this ball rolling and we need to make that a norm.
It's so true.
I feel like it would help me emotionally too.
I can't have these things.
So try not to have sushi in front of me.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Okay.
Before you get me started on how unfair this shit is, let's wrap up the episode.
Yeah, 30 is definitely a big year and I feel like talking it out actually helps a bit too.
I did take a while to reflect on my life and my 20s, as I turned 30 and I feel like that also feels kind of good.
I'm glad that we were able to talk it out today and continue to reflect on these life stages together.
Hopefully that makes 30 a little less scary for you.
Yeah, as someone who is still young and spry versus you who is old.
This is very educational, so thank you.
Of course.
So for our listeners out there, if you have any thoughts on getting older, reaching milestone ages or birthdays, feel free to share your thoughts with us.
We have social media at eatyourcrustpod and we also have email eatyourcrustpod at gmail.com.
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Thanks for listening.
And don't forget to eat your crust.
