Think about someone that you know who completely controls the room the moment that they walk in and start speaking.
When they speak, everyone listens. and they don't talk while they're speaking or get distracted.
Often these people aren't the richest, maybe they're not the most attractive or even the smartest person in the room.
But yet, they are still the most listened to.
And they have an almost magical quality that is quite hard to explain.
And we call this charisma.
I'm your host Oliver and welcome back to the Easy English Podcast.
And today we are going to learn some new words and talk about the topic of charisma.
I'll explain what charisma is and we will look about if you can learn to be charismatic or it's something that you naturally have.
So stick around and we will take a look at this very interesting topic.
And before we look at today's vocabulary, let's be honest about how we feel in social situations.
So if you're listening on Spotify, I want you to vote on your screen.
We have a poll that you can go to and answer.
If you're somewhere else, you can leave a comment and let me know.
The question is, when walking into a room full of strangers, how do you usually feel?
Number one, do you feel confused and excited to talk to people?
Number two, do you feel a bit nervous but you can manage?
Number three, do you feel terrified?
Do you want to hide in a corner on your phone?
Let me know and vote on the poll on Spotify and let me know what you think.
Let's look at today's key vocabulary.
These are words that I think are very important for today's topic.
So I want you to try to listen for them in context.
I'm going to give you the word and then the definition.
Let's look at the first one.
This is magnetic.
Magnetic and magnetic means having a powerful ability to attract, charm or influence people.
For example, someone's warm personality could make them very magnetic.
Our next phrase here is to dominate, To dominate.
And to dominate means to control, command or take up all of the attention in a space.
And this means, so for an example, you don't need to dominate conversation to show charisma.
So the people that dominate the conversation are not always the most charismatic.
Our third word here is genuine. genuine.
And the word genuine means real, honest and sincere.
So something that is not fake.
And people can easily feel when your interest in them is genuine.
Our fourth word here is awkward, awkward.
And this means feeling uncomfortable, embarrassed, or lacking social grace.
And our final word, to radiate, to radiate.
And this means to clearly send out or display an emotion or quality.
So when you smile, your eyes radiate warmth.
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The link is in the description below on every episode.
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Let's get back to today's topic.
To start with, what is charisma?
While people describe charisma as a magnetic personal charm and the ability to attract, inspire or influence others.
In short, it basically means that people like you and it's a balance of certain traits having presence.
So being the focus and keeping, or sorry, keeping the focus and the attention of others whenever you talk.
It also means power, so being able to project that you're confident, that you're reliable and that you have control over the events that you're involved with, and also warmth.
So just being likable, being warm and being friendly.
And many English learners think that they need to become very extroverted to be charming even in another language.
And to do this, some people will try to tell loud jokes.
Perhaps they'll laugh a lot.
Speak very fast or even dominate every conversation.
Sometimes you will see that people who try to be charismatic or liked they, talk so much about themselves.
So they're trying to make other people like them.
And this is the classic charisma myth.
In reality, people who try too hard to control a room often come across as arrogant or exhausting, so tiring.
And in reality, true charisma is not about making yourself look big.
It's about making the other person feel important.
And when you look at the most magnetic or charismatic leaders throughout history, it wasn't about making them seem great.
And it wasn't always about how they spoke.
It was about how they made people feel whenever they were listening. to them.
You can speak in slow, simple English and still be the most charming person in the room if you know how to direct your focus and to display charisma.
So I mentioned earlier the three elements of charm and I want to take a bit of a closer look at those.
Okay so let's take a look at these.
The first I
So the first of these, according to behavioral science, is presence.
So that means being there.
Have you ever talked to someone and we talked about this a little bit in last week's episode?
And if you haven't listened to last week's episode, I recommend checking it out.
It's about the depth of conversation.
So these episodes are very linked.
And you know, have you ever talked to someone where you could see from their eyes that they are not present?
Maybe that they're looking at something else.
They're thinking about something else.
They're not really in the conversation with you.
It feels pretty awful and you don't really enjoy that conversation with someone.
You can probably think of people right now in your head that make you feel this way when you talk to them.
But the opposite is true for presence.
It is when the other person makes you feel like you have their full attention, like they really care, they're listening and they're there with you in the conversation.
This is an important element of charisma, and someone with a high level of charisma will have a very good feeling of presence with you, a good feeling of being there.
The second pillar here is warmth.
Warmth.
And that is the open door.
So it's the continuous signal that you're safe, welcoming, and kind.
If your body language is arms closed or arms crossed, maybe your face is serious, people will keep their distance and not everyone will feel open and warm around you.
But when you're radiating or you radiate warmth, perhaps you have open gestures.
You've got maybe a soft facial expression, soft eye contact.
You're breaking that awkward first meeting or those awkward barriers that usually exist.
And our third pillar is really power.
So we're looking at that quiet confidence.
When you have power, it doesn't mean physical strength.
It doesn't mean that you're strong or big or bad.
It means that you're comfortable in your ability and what you're doing.
And that usually shows with your actions, with how you speak and with how you handle stressful situations.
So, before we continue on with this topic and look at three little steps that you can take to be more charismatic in English, I wanted to take a look at our listener spotlight.
So we're looking at our questions and answers from last week.
And last week I asked you about if you're a good listener.
So to tell me, you know, do you think that you're a good listener?
Or perhaps you're distracted and your mind is elsewhere in conversation.
I had some great answers.
I wanted to read a couple of them today.
And then I want to ask you your question for next week.
So the first of these is from a commenter.
I'm not too sure on the name.
There's no name here, but they said Hi Oliver, I love your podcast.
Well, I consider myself a bad listener because I get distracted very easily.
For example, when someone tells me about their day, my brain tends to focus only on the most important thing that they said.
The person might talk to me for an hour, but I probably only pay attention for about 20 minutes.
Then my mind starts thinking about something completely unrelated to what they're talking about.
I don't do it on purpose and I actually want to be a better listener.
Great comment.
And thank you so much for sharing that.
It really is a challenge that many of us face.
And I think that being aware of it and trying to improve is half of the battle.
It's half of the task to do to improve.
So excellent, excellent comment.
The next comment I wanted to read is from Hamid and they said, great topic.
Usually I try to listen 100% when someone is speaking English as I won't understand them.
However, I am not listening completely in my native language.
Thank you.
That's a great, great answer to that question.
And I think it's a very good point about speaking another language and not one that I really listened or that I've really thought about before.
So excellent point raised.
And that brings us to our next question for this week.
And I want to ask you about what you think confidence looks like.
So what do you think a confident person acts like?
How do they behave?
What makes them seem confident to you?
I want you to tell me in the comments.
So go right now to the comment section, wherever you're listening or wherever you are, and answer what you think a confident person looks like, acts like or behaves like.
And I look forward to choosing a few of your answers and reading them in next week's episode.
So let's continue and move on to look at three ways to be more charismatic and to have more magnetism, which means basically the same thing as charisma.
If you want to upgrade your personal charm when you're speaking another language, you can try these three tips.
And the first is a very simple pause and smile tip.
And that is really when you enter a room or you join an online meeting.
Don't immediately start talking to try and hide your nervousness.
Step in, pause for one second, look at people and give a genuine smile.
And this brief pause and smile shows massive social power as well as calm.
So it's not showing nervousness.
It's not showing that you're uncomfortable.
It's showing that you are calm.
And even if you don't feel it, taking that step to pause and smile will make you feel more calm.
Our second point is to lower your pitch at the end of sentences.
We talked about this a little bit in an episode I did a few weeks ago about tonality.
So about your voice and how important that is in English.
And when we feel nervous or anxious, our pitch naturally rises at the end of a sentence and it can make us sound a little bit uncertain or maybe lacking confidence.
So if you focus on keeping your voice stable, lowering your pitch at the end of a sentence, it projects and shows that you're more confident.
And our final tip for today is to move slower, so to be a little bit slower.
Often we associate doing things quickly in our minds with confidence.
For example, replying in English without delay, you know, making our sentences quickly, not taking too long to think.
Nervousness, being anxious or nervous in general, makes us move fast.
It makes us do things very quickly.
We blink rapidly, we nod our heads very quickly and we move our hands and maybe our position, how we're sitting or standing.
And to have more charisma, to seem more confident, you're better to move slower, take slower actions and slow down your physical movements.
And it also helps you to be more calm.
And those are our tips for today.
So, to conclude, being charismatic is not some kind of magical energy that you're born with or that you're lucky to have?
It's something that is developed.
And of course, some people have developed it naturally through their childhood.
Maybe they are naturally more charismatic.
That's true, but it's something that we can all learn, that we can all take steps to be more charismatic in whatever language you wish.
It's really a daily choice.
It's the decision to give people your full presence, to radiate sincere, genuine warmth that you care, and also to have and build a quiet confidence in your ability.
And when you stop worrying about sounding perfect, about having great English in English, you will start to be more charismatic, more confident and more natural.
Okay, so that brings us to our final section of today's episode.
And that is our comprehension check.
So I'm going to ask you three questions that I want you to answer about today's episode.
And you can pause the audio and try to answer out loud or in your head to see if you understood most of the topic.
Let's go.
The first question is what is the charisma myth?
The charisma myth is the incorrect belief that charisma is a natural personality trait that you're born with.
Question two.
Why is dominating a conversation bad for charisma?
Because true charisma is making the other person feel valued and important, and about projecting confidence, about projecting warmth and that genuine presence as well.
It's not just about showing off or talking about yourself to make yourself look good.
Question three.
What are the three pillars of charisma according to behavioral science?
And we covered each of these.
The first is presence.
The second is warmth.
And the third is power.
That's it for today's episode.
Remember, if you want to support the show, make sure to check out the patreon the link is in the description below and, if you're new, follow and subscribe and turn on your notifications so you don't miss an episode every single week.
I will see you very soon, goodbye.
