Welcome to the All Ears English podcast where you'll finally get real native English conversation and fluency for business and life.
We believe in connection, not perfection when it comes to learning English.
Now here are your hosts Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, and Michelle Kaplan, the New York radio girl, coming to you from Boston and New York City, USA.
Hey.
In this episode, you'll get the key to success in life and business.
Listen in to find out more.
Do you ever feel like your English is good but not quite where you want it to be?
Maybe you can have conversations, but you still hesitate when expressing complex ideas.
Maybe you know what you want to say. but you can't always say it naturally.
If that sounds familiar, our B2 English fluency course was designed for you.
You'll learn how to speak more naturally, express yourself with confidence and finally stop feeling stuck at the intermediate level.
This week, you can save $50 on our basic plan or save $100 on our personal coach plan.
Go to allearsenglish.com slash B2.
That's allearsenglish.com slash letter B number two.
Lindsay, do you feel really comfortable at parties?
Oh, let's see.
Good question, Aubrey.
It depends on who's there.
Most of the time, I'm pretty comfortable.
I can get a little awkward at times, I would say, but for the most part yeah, I like talking to people.
Yeah, for sure.
I think it depends on how casual the party is, right?
Yeah.
I am super comfortable at a barbecue or a friend's party, but I've had to go to some black tie events.
Black tie?
In a very fancy dress, you know, maybe charity events or fundraisers.
And I feel a little bit like a fish out of water.
I can still make conversation, but you put me in heels and I'm going to feel a little uncomfortable.
So what is it about that kind of scenario that the more formal that kind of makes you feel awkward?
Is it the actual physical things that you're wearing, the heels?
Or is it more how you think you should act?
Or what is it?
I'm curious.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it often is the topics of conversation, because if I'm speaking to someone who is maybe a little more advanced in age, who is a successful business person at this charity event, who has purchased a table, maybe I might doubt myself a little.
Are the things that I'm going to have to talk about relevant?
Are really going to interest this person?
Interesting.
It's really interesting how different things trigger different people in different ways, right?
That's fascinating.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, so you know for our listeners today we know you guys get into these situations for one reason or another.
We feel awkward.
We don't know.
You know, maybe it's what people are wearing, how much money they have, what they're talking about, whether for me it's when everyone knows each other.
I can feel a little awkward, kind of just as you said, like a fish out of water.
They know each other.
What do I say?
I can't participate in half the conversations.
That's awkward to me.
For sure.
And it's easy to panic just a little bit in that situation because you're trying to avoid these awkward conversations.
And we know this happens to you guys.
We want you to be able to speak English at professional events, at parties, without ever feeling that panic.
So we're going to help you today with some phrases that make you sound interested in what the other person is saying and makes you be more interesting.
And that's kind of I feel like this in a way, this is sort of the secret to success in life.
Just in this one phrase.
Yes.
Sound interested or be interested.
It's better than sounding interested.
Right.
Be interested to be interesting because people love the sound of their own voice.
They love getting asked questions.
They love it.
So you're going to look interesting to them.
Right.
Yeah, I think that's the real key here is that recognize that you know people love to share their own experience, their own.
They like to be in the spotlight.
So it's on you, the impetus to take the spotlight off of yourself and put it on someone else.
And that is always going to diffuse awkwardness.
Exactly.
And that helps us get out of our heads, get out of focusing on ourselves and any mistakes we might be making.
And then you're just providing a nice environment for the other person to shine.
It makes me think of this quote by Albert Einstein.
What's that quote that we want to bring in for our listeners today?
Yes, it's strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.
Oh, it's good.
It's good.
And this makes me think also of an interview that we did in our business English course that you did Aubrey, with one of our native speaking professional contacts.
And what did James say?
Yeah, I was able to interview James Greaves.
He's the CEO of a company named Brandmakers who puts branded logos on shirts hats, all kinds of things.
A very successful company.
And we talked to him about networking at business conferences, among other things.
And he had some great advice.
He said, nobody likes a me monster.
So that's someone who always talks about me, me, me, and keeps the spotlight on themselves.
Yes.
It's awkward, right, to have someone seem that self-involved, self-important.
It's so much better to ask questions.
And so if not, you're going to find someone walking away after you talk about yourself for a while.
So he gave great advice to actually be interested.
Like you were saying, Lindsay, ask them questions.
Exactly.
That is such good advice.
And guys, if you want to check out that interview, join our business English course.
So go to allearsenglish.com forward slash business.
There's a bunch of other interviews with native speaking successful professionals who are native speakers to give you great advice about your career in English.
Right, Aubrey?
Yes, it's an amazing course.
We interviewed 150 native professionals, successful professionals in every field.
And we got just a wealth of information.
We're excited to share it.
And it's just so much different than the other business courses out there.
It's not dated like a lot of textbooks.
It's very refreshing.
So yeah, check it out, allearsenglish.com slash business.
Exactly.
And we're going to show you guys in just a minute that this doesn't have to be complex the way you put the spotlight on the other person.
We're going to give you some real phrases.
So break out a pen or pencil and a piece of paper.
Get ready to write these down because it's so easy to put the spotlight on someone else.
Exactly.
Right.
So let's get into some of these questions.
And I agree, you're going to see these are quite simple.
It's just a matter of having this in mind to turn it around, ask someone else questions.
Yeah.
So the first one is just a simple, how are you?
Guys, we know this.
All right.
But it's standard.
And just say it naturally.
Say it, you know, say it in a fluid way and just listen.
Right?
Exactly.
Right.
And then follow it up with how's work?
This is really good to find out a little more about how things are going or what they do for work right.
And then if you know that this person isn't working yet, you could say, how's school?
Mm-hmm.
How's work?
How's school?
Now would you say that this is better for people that we've met once before or people we don't know yet?
Like first conversation.
Yeah.
These are definitely a little more for at least someone we've at least met once before, right?
This is definitely implying a relationship, right?
That interview with James, you are going to get some great conversation starters for a conference, because that's a very different situation.
If it's a networking situation, you may want to walk up to someone and say something like he gives this great advice to say so.
I've been told I need to meet people.
Where are you from?
And that's a funny joke.
People will kind of chuckle and be like, yeah, right?
They told us to mingle.
So I guess I should find out where some people are from.
Right.
That's kind of you know naming the elephant in the room, which is that everyone feels awkward anyway.
So just name it.
And we've talked about that a few episodes ago, too.
Right.
Yeah, that's so good.
And then if you know someone a little bit maybe you've met them a few times you can say how's your family?
This is great.
Yeah, exactly.
And then really listen, right?
If they just say fine and move on.
Understandable, but they may share some, you know, letting you know what their kids are up to these days and think about how much that's going to give you a deeper connection.
Once they go there, they get more personal with you.
Yeah, that's the key is listening.
That's another skill, right?
But we really need to have that material to work with.
We need to be fully present.
So guys, these next two are really good if you don't know the person, or if you do, I guess, but they're better if it's the first conversation with someone.
Yes, exactly.
The first thing you can ask is are you enjoying the event you know, or did you enjoy the presentation?
So give them a chance to sort of turn and talk, right?
Share about what you both just learned.
Exactly.
And then I love this next one.
So when would we use this next question, Aubrey?
Okay.
So you're going to say what's it like to, and then you can fill in the blank with whatever is appropriate for that situation.
So this is very flexible, right?
If someone just happened to mention that they went skydiving, you could ask them about that.
Wow.
What's it like to go skydiving?
I've always wanted to do that.
And then they'll go a little deeper and share a story.
Yeah, there's so much we could do here.
You could fill in where someone lives.
Let's say this is at a conference and you know, the person lives in LA.
Okay, what's it like to live in LA?
What's it like to live among the stars?
You could ask that kind of thing.
Or what else could you fill in here?
Right.
So let's say they just came back from doing maybe some contract work in another country, right?
So you could say, what's it like to travel in Japan, in Korea, wherever they just came back from?
People love to share travel stories.
If you find out someone recently traveled, you can make it more interesting this way by giving them a chance to share details.
Yeah, I love it.
Or you could go to their job too.
This is a more interesting way to ask someone about their job.
And usually I'm pretty genuinely curious.
Sometimes let's see, for example, on a plane a few months ago I met someone who works on video games.
He makes video games in Los Angeles.
And I said, what's it like to make the video games that everyone plays?
That's a genuinely interesting conversation you're starting right there.
Yes, exactly.
Right.
You really hit the nail on the head there that the key is to be interested.
Right.
We don't want to.
It's really hard to fake genuine interest.
Right.
You're asking these questions.
But then not really paying attention, not really interested.
So that's a really one of the biggest takeaways is to be interested, because that makes you a more interesting person.
People will feel that and they'll want to have these conversations with you if they can see that you really want to know.
Yeah, again, it's kind of the secret to everything.
I think this is one key.
If this is the only episode you listen to of Allers English, guys, this is it right here.
This will get you so far in life professionally, personally.
It's good stuff.
It's good stuff.
The secret to success.
The secret to success.
So Aubrey, what should our listeners do to make sure they don't miss all of our other awesome episodes?
Follow or subscribe to All Ears English wherever you find your podcasts.
Four episodes a week.
You don't want to miss a single one.
Yes.
Awesome.
And guys, in the next one, we're talking about idioms to talk about being happy.
So I can't wait for that one.
All right.
I'll see you in the next one.
Take care.
Bye.
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