Hello listeners, welcome back to Luke's English Podcast.
In this episode, you can listen to a fun conversation between me and my daughter.
Now, I've featured recordings of my daughter speaking on this podcast over the years, ever since she was a little baby, and then when she was a toddler, and then when she was in nursery school,
And now she's in primary school.
And in fact, she's so good at talking and so fluent that I can just sit down with her and record an entire episode together.
Last time we did this was about six months ago.
The episode was called Would You Rather?
And it was just a series of kind of slightly ridiculous, absurd, would you rather questions.
It was really popular, loads of people commented saying how much they enjoyed it and how cute they thought my daughter is and how she has fans out there in podcast land.
So for this episode, it's more of the same.
It's more of the same.
It's called crazy questions, which should be pretty self-explanatory.
I've come up with a list of questions.
They include some more of those sort of would you rather questions, some what if questions.
A few food-related questions, some science-related questions, some stuff about superpowers, some things about animals, just the usual sort of thing that could inspire the mind of an eight-year-old child.
With a few carefully selected philosophical ideas thrown in there too.
There's not much more for me to add here at the beginning, except that I really hope you enjoy listening to this and that you like spending a bit more time in the company of my daughter and me.
If you're watching the video version, I'm afraid there's no actual video content of the conversation between me and my daughter, I'm afraid.
This is just because, well, this is one of the things I've chosen to keep private, you know.
But you will see, if you keep watching, you will see various things on the screen, images, words.
Various things to support your listening experience.
There is a PDF transcript for this episode which you can use to check words.
If you hear something that you'd like to check, then just go into the PDF and it's all there.
That is perfect.
If you want to take things further and actually do some English studying with this episode, everything's written down for you.
You can find a link for the episode PDF in the description in the show notes for this episode, okay?
But otherwise, just relax now and enjoy another slightly ridiculous chat with me and the youngest English teacher on the internet.
And here we go.
Hello, welcome back to the podcast.
A couple of questions for you to begin with.
Question one, what's your name today?
What name have you decided to choose today?
Violet.
Violet, very nice.
And second question, how old are you?
And that's your actual age, please.
Eight.
Eight years old
Yes okay welcome back onto the podcast
Uh what's the general idea for this episode today
Crazy questions crazy questions
We'll talk about that in a second
Actually i've got another question how do you feel about being on this podcast today
I'm very excited
Okay i'm very very very excited because i love being on my dad's podcast okay you're
So you're okay with this yes i haven't forced you to do this no you haven't you're
You're really keen to do this aren't you okay um the last time i don't know when the last time was
Was it about a year ago
You've got no sense of time whatsoever as an eight year old.
So you don't know.
I think it was, it was maybe about a year ago, but it was really, really popular.
People really enjoyed it.
And lots of people wrote to me to say that they, I should tell you that they think you're great.
Okay.
So you have some fans.
Yay.
So, Crazy Questions, that's the title of the episode.
We have prepared a set of questions.
I'm going to ask you the questions.
But you can still say what you think.
I can give my answers.
Yeah.
If you want to ask me the questions as well, feel free to do that.
But mainly we're asking you the questions and I'm curious to see what your answers will be.
But we can also ask your fans questions.
My fans, my audience.
Yes, absolutely.
Everyone is always encouraged to get into the comments section and write your responses to these crazy questions as well.
Okay, so are you ready to begin?
Yes.
Okay, so the first question is this.
If socks could talk, what would they complain about?
If socks could talk.
I really know.
You know?
Yes.
What would they talk about?
They would talk about that their drawer would be too messy and they wouldn't be in pairs.
Because that is very true.
Especially your socks.
So give us an example of the things they would say.
Imagine that we can listen to the socks complaining.
Hey, my drawer is too messy.
Well, I know so.
I want my drawer to be cleaner and I want to be with my pair.
Where's my partner?
I don't have my partner.
I don't belong with you.
How come this drawer is never tidy or clean?
People are in pairs, but I'm not.
And then, well, feet.
Feet are in pairs.
No, yeah.
People too sometimes.
Yeah, but like the socks.
Socks, yes.
They're not with their pairs sometimes.
But sometimes they are.
I think that socks would complain about having to be stuck to people's feet all day long.
Disgusting smelly feet.
They never wash them.
They don't cut their toenails properly.
It's horrible being a sock.
I'd much rather, I don't know, be another item of clothing.
What do you think would be the best item of clothing to be?
Address address okay yes why
Because like that the end is like not really to your not really attached like it can go out and also attached sometime
And the top
Well i don't know what to say about the top
Well, dresses are beautiful and pretty, but yeah, the bottom of the dress is sort of loose.
Yeah.
And what's nice about that?
Well, that like that they're not stuck to you and not when it's a warm day and that you want to put like leggings.
Well, they're not stuck to you and that you're not so warm.
Right, so it's comfortable having a dress.
So do you think it's comfortable for the dress as well?
Well, yeah.
To be sort of loose and flowing.
Plus dresses get to do nice things.
They get to swish from side to side and they get to, if a person wearing a dress spins round, the dress sort of spins in a pretty way.
And they're like free a bit.
Yeah, okay.
They're not like socks who are so blah blah.
Socks stuck to people's feet, inside shoes, it must be very smelly.
Okay, are you ready for question two?
Yes.
If you woke up tomorrow and your hair had turned into spaghetti, what would you do?
Eat them.
Yeah?
Do you think they would taste good?
I'm assuming they're cooked spaghetti.
Oh.
That's going to be very messy, isn't it?
Yeah.
You'd just have a nice spaghetti breakfast.
And then when I go to school, oh no, I don't have any hair anymore.
But what would be better, to go to school with a bald head or go to school with spaghetti hair?
Spaghetti hair.
That's better?
Yeah.
Is it?
Okay.
Why?
Because then when you're in the queue to go to lunch, you can eat your own hair.
Yeah, I can't imagine anything better than that, to be honest.
Like this.
You can just have a little snack if you're feeling peckish.
Yeah.
Oh, it's nice.
I'm so hungry.
Right, okay, yeah, that does make some sense.
I wonder if your hair would grow back, if the spaghetti would grow back.
I hope so.
Because then you could start selling it.
Yeah.
You could start manufacturing and selling spaghetti.
That would be it for you.
You'd make loads of money selling spaghetti.
Yeah.
You'd have to make quite a lot of it, though, wouldn't you?
Yeah.
You'd have to produce a lot of spaghetti to actually make a living.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Okay if If you could change one thing about the human body What would you change?
That's a difficult question.
Imagine you could change anything about the human body, what would it be?
What do you find inconvenient or annoying or difficult or painful, irritating?
When my mouth is having pains, I always use my tongue because it's taking a lot of space in my mouth.
Your tongue takes a lot of space in your mouth.
Go on.
So I want to make it little.
You want to reduce the size of your tongue.
You make the tongue slightly smaller.
Really, the tongue takes up a lot of space in your mouth.
Like, thinner.
Thinner.
Just make it thinner.
A couple of millimetres thinner.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
You've never told me before that your tongue takes up too much space in your mouth.
It does.
How does this bother you?
How does this affect you?
Well, I can't have a lot of...
I can't have a lot of food in my mouth.
Okay, you talked about having pains in your mouth.
What do you mean?
Well, I mean Because it's about my tongue.
It's like not in my mouth, but outside.
Oh, I see I know what you mean sometimes you get You get chapped skin.
Yes underneath your bottom lip and that's my tongue
Because of your tongue
But your tongue you sort of what you do is you habitually lick your bottom lip and that makes your skin get dry and then you get eczema which is sort of nasty dry skin must be very annoying yeah it's so annoying
Yeah so we have to put cream on you
So that's what you would change.
You just simply change the size of your tongue.
And this is the human body.
Everyone.
This change is going to be applied to everyone's bodies.
So everyone's going to get a slightly thinner tongue.
That's it.
So you're not going to have you're not going to change the fact that we have to go to the toilet or the fact that we get headaches.
Yeah, the facts.
Two facts.
Let me go to the toilet and headaches.
Okay, then.
All right.
Well, get ready, everyone.
Your body's about to improve in several major ways.
Would you rather sleep in a skip...
For a week.
What's a skip?
Or skip a week's sleep.
So would you rather sleep in a skip for a week or skip a week's sleep?
What is a skip?
So I don't know if you've ever seen this, but sometimes outside someone's house in the street, you find a big metal container, large thing.
And if someone is having work done in their house, this big metal container is used to... People throw all their stuff in it, all the junk that's being removed from the house or bits of rubble or rock that get taken out of the house, get put in the skip.
So it's a large metal thing
Which people use to throw away lots of rubbish from their house.
Right?
You understand?
So have you ever seen a skip?
No.
They're very common in the UK.
I don't see them very much in France.
I don't know what people do.
But in the UK, sometimes you'll just see this large metal thing.
It's kind of like got diagonal ends.
Right.
And it goes on the back of a truck.
And yeah, people throw things like old furniture in it or an old chair or bits of rock or garden rubbish.
Stuff like that.
That's a skip.
So would you rather sleep in a skip for a week or skip a week's sleep?
That means that you don't sleep for a week.
You have to sleep for a week in a skip.
Full of rubbish and stuff, and maybe mice and things, or you don't sleep at all for a week.
I don't sleep at all for a week.
Seriously?
Yes.
But do you know what would happen to you if you didn't sleep for a week?
Can you imagine?
No.
Well, I'll tell you, sleep is absolutely vital for your mental health, your mental processing and your body desperately needs sleep every day.
And if you don't sleep for a week, you would probably completely lose your mind.
Your brain wouldn't be able to rest and your ability to function, focus, understand the world around you would go.
You can have plague if you're with mice and rats.
You can have the plague.
Yeah, like the...
The bubonic plague from the Middle Ages.
Now, you can get sick, you mean?
Yeah.
This is true.
So, yeah, the risks of getting sick or hurt from sleeping in a skip for a week versus the complete mental breakdown...
The total hallucinations and potential physical risks of not sleeping for a week.
I would sleep in the skip.
Okay.
But not you.
I'd be curious to see what would happen to you.
Even after not sleeping for one night, you kind of fall to pieces, to be honest.
So I'd be curious to see what would happen to you.
It wouldn't be very fun, I can tell you that much, skipping a week's sleep.
Listeners, what about you?
Would you skip a week's sleep just to see what would happen to your brain?
Or would you...
Would you sleep in a skip or skip a week's sleep?
But like if you sleep in a skip, well, you can get hurt and you can get a disease.
Yeah, that's right.
These are the risks that you take when you do this.
If you have a disease you can die.
Yeah, I mean, it's not a very pleasant choice, is it, really, to have to pick between the two things, but there it is, that's what it is.
Okay, are you ready for the next question?
Yes, I am.
Okay, it's another would you rather question.
Would you rather suffer from, are you ready for this?
So, you've got, either you suffer from one thing or you suffer from another thing.
Here are the two things.
So would you rather suffer from arachibuttyrophobia?
Arachibuttyrophobia.
Let me say that again.
Arachibuttyrophobia right arachibuttyrophobia or would you rather suffer from hippopotamonstrous hold on a minute hippopotamonstrous oh god i've got to say this hippopotamonstrous
I can say it for you.
Hepatomonstriosis.
Eschipedalophobia.
Right.
So the first one is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.
And the second one is the fear of long words.
Can you believe that the fear of long words, the name for that is like the longest word ever.
Doesn't seem fair, does it?
If someone needs to say to them... What's the matter?
What's the matter?
I've got...
I've got... Oh, I can't say it.
I got a... Hippopotamonstrosescopedalophobia.
Ah!
Peanut butter.
Wait, you'd rather suffer from the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth than the fear of long words?
Oh, I don't know actually.
Well, what's a more important concern in your life?
How often do you eat peanut butter and how often do you encounter long words?
I eat peanut butter a lot, but then I don't really like it because it sticks to me.
Yeah, but you can handle it.
If you had the fear of peanut butter sticking to your mouth, arachibutyrophobia, if you had that, you wouldn't be able to eat peanut butter at all.
You'd be terrified of the prospect of it sticking to the roof of your mouth.
So that's basically goodbye peanut butter.
Or you live your life in constant fear that when you're reading some book or other Harry Potter... Yeah, and I don't want... Because I love reading books.
So me, it's a peanut butter.
Bye-bye peanut butter.
Yeah, I would agree.
I think that I don't want to live a life...
Without reading without long words.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, I agree with you.
Yeah.
Well, you're scared of that.
I'm scared of...
I mean, if you had that, then you wouldn't ever be able to read any books about dinosaurs.
Would you?
Because they've all got incredibly long names.
Here's another question.
Would you rather be one of the three bears or one of the three blind mice?
One of the three bears or one of the three blind mice?
And we need to explain what these things are.
So, the Three Blind Mice is a song, and they're blind, and then they go in the kitchen of the... What again?
So, the song goes, Three blind mice, three blind mice...
See how they run, see how they run.
They all run up to the farmer's wife who cuts off their tails with a carving knife.
Did you ever see such a thing in your life as three blind mice?
Right, so first of all, what do you think of the song?
It's very cool.
Very cruel, it is.
What a strange song.
Yeah, why did they do that, these English persons?
Well, this is an example of one of those weird nursery rhymes or children's songs.
And English has got its strange songs.
And French.
Three blind mice is arguably the strangest one because why are there three blind mice running up to a woman who then cuts off their tails?
Yeah.
That's very cruel and strange.
What a weird song but French I think beats English in terms of strange children's songs.
Yeah.
Can you give us any examples of famous French songs?
The boat one.
Yeah, that boat one.
Yeah, there's one about some sailors on a boat and they eat each other.
No no no there's
There was a little sailor who goes on a boat and then there he is with his friend on the boat and they don't have any fish
So they decide to eat the littlest one
They're going to eat the smallest person but then it's a miracle because fish
Are there.
It's not a miracle because fish do live in the sea.
Yeah, that's not a miracle at all, is it?
Oh, it's a miracle there are fish.
Well, of course there are fish.
You're on a boat on the ocean.
There's millions of fish.
Yeah, so then they eat the fish and not that.
Thank goodness.
So they don't actually eat their friend in the end, but still a bit of a strange one.
For me, the strangest... How do the lyrics of that go in French?
Do you remember?
Oh, I don't remember that.
My favourite strange French children's song is Une souris verte.
Oh, Une souris verte.
So Violet is going to sing the song in French for us and then we're going to translate it.
And we're going to explore how strange this is.
Je l'attrape par la queue, je la montre à ces messieurs
Ces messieurs me disent, trempez-la dans l'huile Trempez-la dans l'eau, ça ferait un escargot tout chaud
Je la mets dans mon chapeau, elle me dit qu'il fait trop chaud
Je la mets dans mon tiroir Elle me dit qu'il fait trop noir Je la mets dans ma culotte Elle me fait trois petites crottes
Okay right so listeners
Uh well done for listening all the way through that
I don't know if you speak french and you were able to understand it
So this is a green mouse so it's already really weird
Yeah mice as we know are not green but anyway a green mouse
So that's what's that
Who runs in the...
In the grass.
Grass, yes.
So a green mouse is running through the grass.
Je l'attrape par la queue.
I...
Catch it by the tail tail I show it to these these men these men
So, wait.
There's a green mouse running through the grass.
I catch it by the tail.
I show it to these men, like some guys.
I just show it to some guys.
Ces messieurs me disent.
These guys tell me.
Trompez-la dans l'huile.
Um...
Dip it in the oil.
Dip it in the water.
It will make an...
It will make a snail.
It will make a hot snail.
What?
So pick up this mouse by the tail.
These guys tell me to dip it in the oil, then dip it in the water.
I'm assuming this is dip it in boiling oil and boiling water.
Yeah.
And then that will make a hot snail.
Oh my.
How weird is that?
Like a mouse who becomes a snail.
Yeah, but for me, this is like even more cruel than the three blind mice thing because it's like you're dipping it in boiling oil, then boiling water.
And I'm imagining the oil.
I'm sorry, everyone, to talk about this in such detail.
But the oil boils the poor mouse.
It fries it, deep fries it, and then the water boils it.
And I'm imagining it somehow becomes crunchy and yet soft on the inside, like a snail.
And it's hot as well.
What?
And then, je la mets dans mon chapeau.
I put it in my hat.
She tells me that it's too hot.
I put it in my drawer.
She tells me it's too black.
Because in French it's tiroir noir, so it rhymes.
Right, okay.
Oh no, I can't say this one.
Je la met dans ma culotte, which means I put it in my pants.
Elle me fait trois petits crottes.
I put it in my pants and she does three little poos in my pants.
What?
And I'm telling you, listeners, every French person and child knows this song.
It's an absolute... And the others, which is all about crocodiles going to war and stuff.
But I think that one is the weirdest.
So there you go.
What was the question?
It was, would you rather be the three little mice or the three blind mice or...
The three bears.
So the three bears.
Do you want to explain the three bears?
Okay, Goldilocks and the three bears.
Let me explain very quickly.
Everyone knows the story of Goldilocks and the three bears.
Goldilocks is a girl.
For some reason, she's just in the forest.
She's got blonde hair.
And she wants to pick flowers, that's why.
It's like she wants to pick flowers.
She gets tired and hungry.
She finds a house.
She breaks in to this person's house.
To these three bears.
She doesn't know that it belongs to three bears.
She just breaks into this house and she has a look around.
She looks at the table.
She sees there are three places set for lunch or something.
Yeah, we got...
No, we haven't got it because they...
I'm going to tell the whole story.
There's three places set for lunch.
There's a big bowl of soup, a medium bowl of soup and a little bowl of soup.
No, it's porridge.
It's porridge.
Fine.
The big bowl's too hot.
The medium bowl's too hot.
The little bowl is just right.
And she does this and eventually she ends up in the bed of the young bear.
And then the bears come home.
They discover Goldilocks sleeping in the bed and she jumps out of the window and runs away.
No, not out of the window.
What?
So everywhere she went and out of the door and she forgets the flowers that she took.
Oh, she forgot the flowers that she picked.
Okay.
So that's the three bears.
So would you rather, all that to say, would you rather be one of the three bears or one of the three blind mice?
One of the three bears.
One of the three bears.
Do I need to ask you why?
I think I do.
Yeah, I do.
No, you don't.
Yeah, explain.
Because I don't want to have my tail chopped off.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty obvious, isn't it?
And it's not that bad if a girl eats some of your porridge.
Well, I would be the dad.
You'd be the dad?
Yeah.
Because she didn't eat any of his.
No, the mum, actually.
She didn't eat any of her porridge.
The mum, because I'm a girl.
Okay, let's move on then to some questions about food.
Yum.
If you had to eat only one food forever, so you have to eat only one food forever, what food would you choose?
I would choose hot dog.
The whole thing, the sausage, the bread.
The sausage, bread, ketchup.
Ketchup.
That's random.
You don't often eat hot dogs.
Why do you choose hot dogs?
Because there's sausage and bread and ketchup, the three things I love.
Okay.
It's not very nutritional though, isn't it?
Is it?
It's not very high in nutrients.
And I would tell you what I put in.
I put fries.
Wait a minute, in the hot dog?
No, with.
Okay, you're assuming then that you can add fries as a side dish to this.
Okay, you're looking at me in a very strange way as if I get to decide.
Okay, you'd have fries as well, but there's still no nutritional value in that.
Then I would put carrots in my hot dog.
Okay, that's an interesting topping.
No, not carrots.
Pasta.
No, no, no.
Carbonara pasta.
Carbonara?
Yeah.
Pasta with bits of bacon in it.
And sausage.
So you've got sausage, which is made of pork, and pasta with bacon in it.
And not the vegetarian sausage.
I don't like that.
Okay, right.
I'm not sure you're going to survive because that will not provide you with all of the nutrients that you need for a balanced diet.
Okay, yeah, I just want that.
I don't know what I would choose, to be honest with you.
I've got no idea.
I think sometimes...
I don't know what one single food you could live on, but it would need to be something that would have all sorts of different things in it, like energy and protein.
Well, it does have energy.
Yeah, it does.
It's got some, I guess there's some carbohydrate, there's some protein in there, but there's just no nutritional value to it at all.
It's okay.
It's like, it's okay.
It's okay.
Yeah.
Is it
I think you'd probably get to about 30 years old and then you'd just keel over and just you know that would be it for you
Um not sure
I like that question
Uh if pizza could have any topping oh i love that one
If pizza could have absolutely any topping even crazy ones what would you put on it
For me, I would put... For the bread, it would be like chocolate cake.
So the bread has chocolate in it?
Yeah.
Anyway, it's viennoise of chocolate.
Chocolate viennoise.
The bread.
Okay.
Okay.
Then I'd put chocolate for the sauce tomates.
Viennoise, that means it's got chocolate chips in it.
Yeah.
Chocolate for the sauce tomates, for the tomato sauce.
Okay.
For...
I mean, it's a pizza, so it's bread, tomato, cheese, and then you can add any other toppings.
But you're incorporating chocolate into the bread and changing the tomato sauce for chocolate sauce.
Okay, you still got cheese?
No.
It's M&M's.
M&M's.
Go on.
Sweets.
Chocolate.
And there we go.
Oh, that sounds absolutely disgusting.
I'm sorry, Italian people.
Italian?
Italian people are very proud of their pizza, aren't they?
And you just completely ruined it.
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
For me, any pizza, any topping, I think for me, my approach to pizza is just keep it simple.
Cheese, tomato, and sometimes just something as simple as mushrooms or pepperoni.
But I'm not one of these people who's all about throwing everything onto a pizza.
You know, pineapple and ham and chicken and tuna and broccoli and all these different things.
Sometimes pizza is best when you keep it simple.
It's the same with burgers.
A burger is best when it's just very simple.
Burger, bread, cheese, relish.
What's relish?
That's like pickled things.
Pickled onion.
I don't like that.
Pickles.
I don't like that.
And that's enough.
And some mustard and ketchup and that's enough.
Okay, here are some what-if questions.
Okay, what if gravity stopped working for five minutes?
What do you think would happen if gravity stopped working for five minutes?
What's gravity again?
Gravity is a force which, for example, if I hold my phone and let go, what happens to the phone?
Oh, yeah, it goes on the floor, boy.
It falls down and it probably breaks.
Well, we would all go up.
Would we go up?
I think we would just basically start to float, yes.
Yeah, and so if we jump, we don't go down again.
Yeah, so that's a bit dangerous, isn't it?
Because you might just jump and fly off into the sky, and then that's you.
You'd just be drifting out into space.
That would be terrible.
So thank goodness for gravity.
Do you know why gravity exists?
No.
It's because the oh yes it's just like the um there's like um protection a protection on earth like this who protects earth from space and if you just fly up
Well, your bum is going to be fire.
If you fly up, your bum is going to be fire.
Yeah, because if you fly up... What do you mean your bum is going to be fire?
Well, because there's like a transparent...
Um thing that's why transparent layer yeah and that's why the rocks don't go just on earth like that
They do sometimes yeah but not like the tiny rocks and like that stars don't go down right
So you're talking about the fact that the earth has an atmosphere
And space doesn't have an atmosphere.
It's a vacuum.
There's no air in space.
Whereas the atmosphere of Earth is actually very thick, full of air molecules.
And also there are other things in the atmosphere that filter out radioactive waves that come from the sun.
And so when an object enters the Earth's atmosphere, it transfers from...
Zero atmosphere, a vacuum, into actually something that's quite thick, and there's a lot of friction when it arrives.
Friction?
The pen?
Well, a friction is a type of pen that you use at school, but friction itself is when something rubs up against something else.
For example... My hand.
Yeah, if you're on a skateboard rolling down the street and you put one foot onto the ground, it goes... That's friction.
And what happens?
It can become fire.
Well, you slow down, but if you're going fast enough, yeah, your foot's, the sole of your shoe is going to get hot.
If you're going in a car 100 miles an hour and you stick your foot out and put it on the floor, the bottom of your foot's going to get very, very hot.
And then it's going to be fire.
Eventually if you're going fast enough, then it might actually start to burn So when something enters the Earth's atmosphere, there's a lot of friction as it rubs up against the air and
Moving very fast, probably, if it's an asteroid entering the Earth's atmosphere, a large rock, moving very, very fast, suddenly there's a great deal of friction as it enters the atmosphere, and all of the air rubs up against it, and yet it starts to burn, and it might burn up completely, and that's when you see a shooting star in the sky,
That's essentially what you're seeing is like a little bit of rock burning up in the atmosphere.
Some rocks make it all the way through and they're often on fire as they fall through the air.
These are what we call meteors.
I saw one once.
What?
I was standing...
In the back garden in the house where I grew up, looking out over a field with a friend of mine and we saw in the distance a burning, a ball of fire pop down beneath the clouds and leave a trail.
Smoke behind it and it just went down over the horizon and we looked at each other and we were gobsmacked and We realized that we'd just seen a meteor Hitting the ground.
We didn't actually see it hit the ground, but we saw it falling down through the sky and
So anyway, gravity is a force that pulls objects towards, in this case, the centre of the Earth.
The Earth is very large and it has very high mass.
Yeah, so large objects in space have mass.
It's similar to weight.
It's not exactly the same, but similar to weight.
So objects with high mass pull other objects towards them.
So, for example, the sun is the largest object in our solar system.
And all the planets orbit the sun because we are caught in its gravitational pull.
Yes.
Right?
Right.
I did like a presentation about it.
So I know everything.
You know everything.
Okay.
So anyway, if gravity stopped, then things would sort of float in the air.
Next question.
What if, can you imagine if everyone in the world suddenly started speaking like a duck?
Quack, quack, quack, quack.
What would actually happen to the world if people suddenly started quacking instead of speaking?
Well, the ducks would know what we say.
And they would think that we're ducks.
Yeah, but maybe ducks would suddenly become in control of the world because suddenly ducks, we're all speaking duck language.
Ducks have been speaking duck language for years.
So they would be in charge.
So maybe the ducks would take over.
What kind of world would that be where ducks are in charge?
You go in there in that water.
I don't want you in my water.
Give me food.
Basically.
Yeah.
Yeah, it would be boring.
Give me food or I'll peck you.
Give me food or I'll peck you.
That's basically the rule of law in the land of ducks.
It would be a nightmare.
Someone should make a sort of science fiction film about that.
That would be interesting.
Oh, I could do it.
What about if cats became the rulers of the world?
Oh, it would be catch a mice for me.
Catch a rat.
But cats enjoy catching mice and rats.
So they wouldn't just start ordering us about.
Oh, they would just say, oh, you can go over there, you can sleep.
I think cats are completely independent.
It would be like anarchy.
If cats ruled the world, there would be no law.
There would be no rules.
It would be total chaos and anarchy with everyone just doing whatever they wanted and no one having any sense of loyalty to other people at all.
It would be like the Wild West or something.
The wild west is was america back in the olden days before it was probably properly civilized and there were like cowboys walking around and there were no laws there was no federal legal system
It's just if you lived out in the midwest or parts of the countryside in america
It was a kind of lawless place where it was all based on how good you were with a gun, you know, and that's the Wild West.
So it's a lawless kind of place where violence was the norm.
That's what it would be like cat cowboys cat cowboys running around the place oh cat cowboys next question if you were going to be in a race would you rather be a tortoise or a hare a hare
You know the story?
No.
The hare and the tortoise.
Oh, yeah.
The hare and the tortoise having a race.
Don't know why, but they are.
And the hare is overconfident.
The hare thinks, I'm much faster than this tortoise, this is gonna be easy.
So, phew, off the hare runs, sort of gets about maybe two thirds of the way around the track, and then thinks, this is easy, I can just take a rest.
I'm going to lie down here in the sunshine and have a little nap.
I've got plenty of time.
This tortoise is so slow.
I've got this in the bag.
I'm definitely going to win.
I can just take it easy now.
So he lies down in the sun and he falls asleep.
Meanwhile, the tortoise continues to go slowly and steadily, doesn't take a break, but just carries on.
And the rabbit is so overconfident that it sleeps too long.
And it wakes up and the tortoise has made it all the way around to the finish line.
And the tortoise slowly walks across the finish line.
And the hare was too late and loses the race.
Devastating.
So, okay, with that in mind, you're going to have a race.
Would you rather be a tortoise or a hare?
But a hare, but I just won't... A hare, but I just won't take a nap or anything.
Yeah, that's the correct answer.
That's exactly right.
So even though in the story the tortoise wins, of course, almost...
Always the hare is going to win and almost every single time the hare is definitely going to win because it's way faster than the tortoise
So you're right
You just have to remember uh not to be overconfident
Take a nap yeah finish the race get the thing done and then have a nap
Yeah there's a lesson to be learned there isn't there
Yeah.
Yeah.
Next question.
Would you rather, so we're talking about superpowers, one of your favourite subjects.
One of your favourite subjects.
Would you rather be able to fly, turn invisible or talk to animals?
Talk to animals.
Well, that was a quick decision.
Why?
Because I love animals and I really want to know what they say to me.
But what if they've got nothing interesting to say whatsoever?
For example, dogs all day, they go woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
And you suddenly get the power to understand them.
And it turns out they're just going woof.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.
That's all they're saying.
You still happy with your choice?
No.
Oh, you want to change?
Yeah.
Okay, you sure?
Yeah.
Don't let me influence you too much.
So if you want to change, what would you rather have?
Fly, turn invisible?
Turn invisible.
Okay, what's so great about that?
I can steal things.
Oh, but that's not good.
If I do hide and seek with my friends, they'll never find me.
That's good.
You would be amazing at hide and seek.
Yeah.
What is hide and seek?
Hide and seek is where there's someone who's counting like one, two, three, four, five.
And then the other one needs to hide.
And if the one who was counting found...
The one who was hiding.
Yeah, well, he wins.
Yeah.
And if he doesn't, well, he loses.
I'm sure that people around the world play exactly the same game.
In English, it's called hide and seek.
In French, it's cache cache.
Yeah, I've never understood why it's called cache, cache.
Cache means hide.
So in French, that means hide, hide.
But that's not true, because you don't both hide.
One person hides, the other person seeks or looks for you.
So it's not...
If it was hide, hide, then both of you would hide.
And that would be the end of the game.
You'd just both be hiding.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, I've never understood that.
But there can be a lot of people in hide and seek.
So it's like hide, hide, you do hide, and I can't hide, hide.
Yeah, but you always need someone who's seeking, looking.
Anyway, if you were the boss of the world for one day, what new rules would you make?
It's a lot of responsibility.
I would make... Well, I would say... Because sometimes people just...
Lie yeah lie lie lie so i would just go around go around in every house to see if they really did it like if someone tells me um oh yes i did my homework because i'm a teacher and they say
Oh, yes, I did my homework.
Well, I would say to them, can I please go and can I please see if you really did it?
And then if they show it to me and that they didn't do it, that means they lied to me.
And so if they did lie, would there be a punishment or something?
What would it be?
Well, because in my class, it's like little Xs.
You get like a red X.
No, like there's no name.
Then you put it up, one thing.
And then if you have a lot of them, you can't parse to another level.
Right, if you get a certain number of crosses, let's say, for lying or doing something wrong.
Yeah, like if you have five crosses, you can't go to the next level.
But if you have four, you can.
If you have three, you can.
If you have two, you can.
If you have
You get held back or punished at school if you lie okay but so would you introduce a similar system like five x's if you get five crosses then what you have to go to prison
No, you have to do like you need to give a bit of money to to pours to poor people to poor people Okay, this seems reasonable
Yeah.
Okay, then fine.
Let's try and make the world a better place.
I've got a really stupid question for you now, because that last one was quite serious.
If you could shrink to the size of an ant for a day, what would you do?
And what would the world be like?
It would be like if giants were walking.
They could even walk on you.
Yeah, it would be dangerous, wouldn't it?
And hands of humans would take you.
But like ants are resistant a bit.
Yes.
So you could be like...
They're actually incredibly strong.
No, no, no.
You...
It would be able to lift unbelievably heavy things.
Ants can lift objects much heavier than themselves.
Did you know that?
No.
Unbelievably strong.
So, I mean, that would be interesting.
You suddenly become strong relative to your size anyway.
But yeah, it would be very dangerous.
You wouldn't want to be in our apartment, would you?
Because your brother would probably squash you or something.
Yeah, I don't know what I would do.
I would just sneak in very fast.
I would take some food and then go back very fast in my home.
Right, sneak around and steal... And if I see, like, a gadget next to my home, I would try to go somewhere not near it.
Avoid gadgets.
Yeah, like the gadget to make ants die.
Oh, the things that kill ants.
But what does it do?
So we've got a thing in the corner of the room which just basically contains some poison.
Yeah, and how does it make it die?
I don't really know how it makes them die, unfortunately.
No, but do they go and...
They probably eat the poison and then they die.
Well, I would not go near them and I would not eat that poison.
Just stick to biscuits.
I think that's a pretty good plan.
Sneak into the biscuit drawer and steal crumbs of biscuits and avoid the poison in the corner of the room and avoid your brother.
And I think you'd be all right for the day.
And avoid mum and dad.
Yeah, because we kill the ants as well, don't we, if we see them?
And you, don't you do that?
No.
You don't?
Oh, you let them live?
Yeah.
Because you're a kind of...
I'm a nice.
You're a nice person.
Having lived as an ant for a day, you would suddenly have a lot more empathy towards ants.
Yeah.
Okay, I've got a funny question for you.
Would you rather play foot golf or basket balloon?
Foot golf or basket balloon.
These are two new sports.
Would you rather play foot golf or basket balloon?
Do you want to know what they are?
Yeah, basket balloon one is it?
Basket balloon is basketball, but it's with a balloon.
That's impossible, actually.
It's not impossible.
You could do it, but it's just not going to be very easy because obviously a balloon is very light and they float around.
But that's it.
It's basketball with a balloon.
Foot golf.
You know what golf is?
Yeah.
So what's golf?
What happens in golf?
Well, you have like this stick and you have like little...
No, that's croquet.
Oh, yeah, croquet, like in Alice in Wonderland.
Alice in Wonderland, they play croquet.
Golf.
Golf is like mini golf.
It has circuits and there's a hole at the end where you need to make it go in.
Yeah, mini golf we've played, that's just like a little thing you do in the park, but...
It's so easy.
Proper golf, imagine mini golf, but much, much bigger, right?
So you start, the ball is the same size, you start with a club and like 200 metres away is the hole and you've got to hit the ball through the air...
And eventually get it in the hole and you have to do it with the fewest shots possible.
So you've got to get it in the hole in three, right?
Whack it down the fairway onto the green and then put it into the hole.
Right.
Now, imagine the same thing, but instead of using a golf club and a golf ball, you use a football and your foot.
So you kick the ball and the kick it and eventually have to kick the ball into a hole.
Well, I would do balloon basket.
Really?
I definitely wouldn't.
I'd 100% do foot golf because...
Basketball is going to be so annoying because the balloon doesn't move through the air very well.
It moves very slowly.
It's hard to control it.
It doesn't bounce.
That's going to be really annoying.
I don't care.
The balloon would burst.
But foot golf, I'd actually genuinely want to, I'd like to play that.
I think that would be really good fun.
Kicking the ball, trying to kick it into the hole.
I think that would be really good.
Yeah, but it'd be annoying when you do like, oh no, my foot hurts.
Okay, next question.
Would you rather be painted...
By leonardo da vinci or have a song written about you by paul mccartney do you know who leonardo da vinci is
Yes it's a famous painter and what italian i think he was italian yes and what did he paint
Do you know what he painted
Ooh, I know.
What?
He painted La Mona Lisa.
Speak up.
La Mona Lisa.
Yes, he did.
Very good.
Very good.
Bonus points for knowing that.
He did.
He painted lots of things, but his most famous one is the Mona Lisa.
Yes.
So would you rather be painted by the guy who did the Mona Lisa and maybe your painting would end up in the Louvre Museum where it might get stolen?
Or would you rather have a song written about you by Sir Paul McCartney of the Beatles?
Song.
The song?
Song.
Why?
Because like that you can't be stolen.
Ah, interesting.
That's it?
Yeah.
And because I love songs.
There was a girl, I don't know.
How would the song go?
I don't know.
There was a girl.
A song about Violet.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I'll let you... You could write that one one day.
Yes.
That would be good.
In the mode of Paul McCartney.
Yeah, I would have the song as well.
Me too.
Definitely.
Because I don't want to be stolen from someone.
Also, I'm not sure a painting, even if it was done by Leonardo da Vinci, I'm not sure a painting of me would be that wonderful to look at, to be honest.
You disagree?
Well yes, you can look.
You mean you think I'm so beautiful that it would be a priceless work of art.
We've got just a few more questions.
Uh yeah would you rather discover
Has it been one hour
It's been 55 minutes
Would you rather discover the bones of an unknown species of dinosaur that wouldn't then be named after you or would you rather discover buried treasure
Buried treasure buried treasure
Why is that
Because I could keep it and I would be so rich.
But you wouldn't be able to tell people that this dinosaur is called the Violetosaurus.
Well, I could say to this, you know, I found this treasure.
Yeah, I think you might.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a tough one because you obviously get to be able to tell people that this dinosaur was named after you.
And it'd be very exciting to discover a dinosaur.
But then, yes, treasure would make you rich.
So that's obviously very attractive, isn't it?
Yeah.
And imagine finding it.
Digging, finding a treasure map, finding the location, digging in the ground and pulling out a big chest of treasure and opening it up and it's full of gold and jewels and things.
But you'd have to make sure other pirates didn't come and try and steal it from you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you rather be locked down or locked up?
We already did this one.
No, we didn't.
Yes.
Would you rather be locked down or locked up?
Are you sure?
I don't think so.
What does it mean?
Can you explain what the question means?
Locked down, like you're locked in somewhere who's down.
Locked down is when you can't leave your house.
We all had to deal with that during the COVID pandemic, which you don't remember.
Do you remember COVID?
Yeah, and we went out and I was on your shoulders.
Right.
Okay.
So during COVID, there was lockdown, which meant that everyone had to stay at home to prevent the spread of the COVID virus.
That's lockdown, to be locked down, to have to stay at home.
And lock up is when, like, if there was a fire in your home.
No, locked up means you're in prison and they lock the door and you're locked up in prison.
It's strange that we say locked up, but it just means completely locked.
It's like locked in, to be honest.
It's the closest thing to...
So locked in and locked up are similar.
That means you're in prison.
Locked out, that's when you go outside, you close your door and you realise you left your keys in the apartment and now you can't get into your apartment, you are locked out.
So, okay, let's add that as well.
So, there's also the story you mentioned about the time that we were stopped by the police because you were on my shoulders.
So during lockdown in Paris, you were allowed to go out for an hour every day to walk, to run, to do essential shopping.
You had to have a piece of paper that was signed an attestation, like a paper to prove your reason for going out.
We went out every day for a walk.
To basically help you burn off energy.
And one day we were walking around, you were on my shoulders and we'd stopped and we were looking in the window of a shop
At whatever was in the window and a police car, I'm sure we've told this story before, a police car just arrived and appeared right behind us and the police officer rolled down the window and he was very serious and he said, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Monsieur, what are you doing?
And I said, oh, he said, give me your papers.
Do you have your papers?
And I gave him the attestation on the paper and he checked it and stuff.
And he looked at me and he said, looking in the windows of shops is not permitted.
It's what he actually said.
Yeah.
Looking in the windows of shops is not permitted.
And he said, you have to go.
Just please go straight home.
And I said, yeah, we're just going to go straight home now.
That's fine.
He was very serious.
He gave me the paperback.
And as they were leaving, you were maybe three years old or something like that.
As they were leaving, you went, bye bye.
Like that.
Yeah.
Bye.
After we'd been told off by the police.
So would you rather be locked up, meaning locked in prison?
Would you rather be locked down, meaning have to stay at home and not allowed to go out?
Or would you rather be locked out?
That's where you can't get back into your apartment because you don't have your keys.
Locked down.
Locked down.
I agree.
Why?
Why?
Well, I don't like being in prison and I don't like just being outside and you can't never go out.
You can't get back in, you mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, being locked down wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad because, you know, we played games.
Yeah, we W something.
We watched something.
W something means watch something.
Yeah, and we had little creative projects and things, so it wasn't great, but it wasn't the end of the world.
Another question, we're nearly finished.
Would you rather have one marshmallow now, or what's your favourite sweet?
Chocolate biscuit?
No, no, no.
It's Malabar, like the chewing gum.
Like a chewing gum?
Yeah.
Like a chewy fruit sweet.
Malabar.
Yeah.
Would you rather have one Malabar now or wait until tomorrow and get a whole bag of Malabar?
Wait until tomorrow.
Well, we have a whole bag of Malabar.
Yeah, but imagine we don't have a bag of Malabar in the drawer.
You can have one now or you wait 24 hours and you get a bag of 10.
I wait 24 hours.
That's the correct answer.
That's good.
I'm glad you said that because that shows that you have the ability to wait or to put off, to delay gratification until later, which is something very important in your life.
Two more questions.
What do you think dogs dream about?
Because dogs dream...
What do you think dogs dream about?
Because dogs dream, have you ever seen a dog sleeping?
Yeah.
Have you ever seen a dog moving in its sleep?
No.
Well, they do.
Their paws move and they sort of sometimes make little noises and stuff.
Like that.
They move around.
What do you think they're dreaming about?
That there's a cat.
Yes.
I'm sure that's right.
I'm sure they dream about chasing cats and things.
And that sometimes the cat has a dog bone in his mouth and that he wants to have it.
He wants to get the bone and the cat as well, probably.
Okay, yeah, I think so.
I don't think dogs dream about very sophisticated things, but who knows?
Maybe they're there dreaming about taking over the world.
I don't think that's what dogs are interested in.
They're basically interested in... Cats.
What are they doing up there?
I don't know, listeners, you can't hear that, but there's banging noises above us because our neighbours upstairs are, I don't know what they're doing, smashing things, dropping things on the floor.
And there's also drilling from the apartment opposite us, so it's suddenly become very noisy.
I don't think dogs dream about very sophisticated things.
Maybe they just dream about...
Like making their master happy.
They dream about their owner coming home from work, probably, and going for a walk.
And that his owner has a lot of dog food and toys for him.
Yeah, and that's probably it.
And that he does... What are you?
Are you a cat or a dog?
You're a dog, aren't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Your brother's a cat.
Definitely.
Last question.
What would happen if everyone told the truth all the time?
I'd be happy.
Everyone would be happy?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
What about, for example...
What about, for example, if you cooked me dinner, right?
And it wasn't very good.
And you said to me, what do you think of the food?
And I said, oh, it's disgusting.
Would you be happy?
No.
Right.
So it's a bit complicated, actually, isn't it?
Because lying is wrong, isn't it?
You mentioned that before, lying is wrong, but sometimes we have to lie to be diplomatic and to protect people's feelings.
So it's a bit of a complicated one.
I don't know what would happen if suddenly everyone stopped lying.
Yeah.
Maybe it would be better.
Maybe it would be better, but I think it could also cause some problems, couldn't it?
Yeah, I think we're going to finish now.
Yeah, that's the end of the episode.
Do you have any final comments or...
Thank you, listeners.
You can also say what you think about all the questions and tell us what you want to say.
Exactly.
You can leave your comments in the comment section.
Do you have any final questions or comments for me?
I need to tell you what you're having.
Ask me one.
Would you rather question?
Would you rather have a girl or a boy?
Would I rather have a girl or a boy?
What you mean as a child?
Yeah.
Impossible to answer.
Because I've got both.
I'm lucky.
I've got a girl and a boy.
But if I had just one, would I choose a girl or a boy?
Yeah.
I can't say.
I can't say.
Me too
I can't say it's an impossible question to answer isn't it
I'm just very happy that i've got a girl and a boy basically although i would have been happy with two girls two boys one girl one boy any combination of those things would have made me
I'm just happy
I've got two lovely little kids um
Who most of the time are well behaved and good.
All right.
Okay.
Thanks, everyone, for listening.
Thank you.
So that is that.
Thank you again to my daughter, to Violet, which is not her real name, to be honest.
That's just the name that she came up with this time.
But thank you very much to her.
Listeners, what's been going on in your brain while listening to this?
Has anything been going on in your brain?
I certainly hope so.
I hope that this has been an inspiring and interesting and entertaining episode as usual.
Just think of all of the English that's gone in there.
And what do you think of my daughter?
What do you think of her English?
And what are your answers to some of those questions?
Feel free to answer any of those questions yourself.
All those questions will be listed on the episode PDF.
You'll find all the questions and you'll find a full transcript of the conversation with my daughter.
So feel free to check that out.
And just leave any comments that you have in your brain at this moment, including any responses to those questions.
Okay?
Yeah, I mean, there's lots of things.
We covered a lot of ground, a lot of different subjects.
Yeah, fine.
I look forward to reading your responses.
That's it.
That's the end of the episode.
We're going to stop here.
No need for me to ramble anymore.
I think we've had, you've had enough English, I think, probably in this episode now.
So until next time, I will bid you farewell and just say goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
