You're listening to Business English Pod, the Business English podcast for professionals on the move.
Hello, and welcome back to Business English Pod.
My name's Edwin, and I'll be your host for today's lesson on resolving conflict in the workplace.
Conflict happens.
There's no way around it.
But not everyone has the same attitude toward conflict.
Some people run from it or refuse to even admit it exists.
Other people acknowledge it but simply hope it goes away on its own.
And some people are able to approach it with confidence, dealing with it openly and honestly.
The first step in conflict resolution is for the people involved to sit down and try to work it out themselves.
But that doesn't always work, and in many cases it takes a third party to attempt to find solutions.
That third party might be a peer or colleague, but mostly it's a manager or leader.
In fact, helping mediate conflict between people is an important function of a manager.
Effective mediation is a tricky business.
You need to help people have the open and honest conversations that they might not be able to have on their own.
Part of that involves ensuring each person has their turn to speak.
One of your aims, of course, is common understanding, so you may need to encourage empathy and confirm understanding at different steps along the way.
As a conflict mediator, your ultimate aim is to find a solution.
To do that, you'll want to have people agree on a common goal.
You may also ask them to focus on positive actions rather than negative ones.
Positive actions and more solution-focused
In today's dialogue, we'll continue hearing about a conflict between Trevor and Andrew, two retail managers in the same company.
Trevor has tried talking with Andrew about their personal conflict, but they haven't been able to reach a clear solution.
So their boss Anne, has stepped in as a third party to help resolve the conflict.
As you listen to the dialogue, try to answer the following questions.
1.
What does Anne do when Trevor interrupts Andrew at the start of the dialogue?
2.
After Andrew explains his side of the story, what does Anne ask Trevor?
3.
What is a common goal for the solution Anne proposes?
So yeah, then Lindsay comes to me and says she's moving to the new market outlet, which I found pretty surprising, because Surprising.
My understanding is that she'd already talked to you about a potential move.
Sorry, Trevor, but I just want to give Andrew a chance to speak here.
Go ahead, Andrew.
Like I was saying, I was surprised.
Not that she wanted to move in the first place.
I mean, she had a bit of a personality conflict with another employee.
But I understood that to be resolved.
I see.
And so, Trevor, if Andrew thought the conflict was resolved, but then Lindsay announces she's leaving for Newmarket, for your outlet, can you see how he might feel that something's going on?
I guess I can see how that would be awkward.
But perhaps she has other reasons for the move.
In any case, I didn't poach her.
Like I said, she approached me, and I encouraged her to work out her problems.
But Andrew didn't know that.
Right.
That makes sense.
Doesn't it, Andrew?
Yeah, I suppose.
Okay, and when we talk about solutions here, because that's really what we need, could we say that the goal is being effective and productive and not getting in each other's way?
Yes, I just want to do my job and do it well.
So yeah, I guess that's the goal.
I'm good with that.
And so, as part of this, it'd be great if you don't always assume I'm trying to undermine you, Andrew.
Okay.
And I think it's best if you don't talk to my employees without going through me first.
Guys, okay.
I think it's better if we can identify what we want to happen rather than what we don't want to happen.
You see what I mean?
Okay, so how's this?
We can agree to maintain open communication and keep each other informed of employee developments.
Yeah, that sounds good to me.
And I'll try to be more aware of when I interrupt you.
And I appreciate you doing more to keep me informed on any staffing issues.
Now let's go through the dialogue again and look at the language and techniques Anne uses as she tries to resolve the conflict between Trevor and Andrew.
So yeah, then Lindsay comes to me and says she's moving to the new market outlet, which I found pretty surprising, because Surprising.
My understanding is that she'd already talked to you about a potential move.
At the start of the dialogue, we can hear Andrew explaining his side of the story.
The issue centers on the fact that two employees left Andrew's outlet or store and moved to Trevor's.
As Andrew tries to explain how this made him feel, Trevor interrupts him and questions the fact that Andrew was surprised.
How does Anne handle this exchange?
Sorry, Trevor, but I just want to give Andrew a chance to speak here.
Go ahead, Andrew.
As a mediator, Anne can't let Andrew and Trevor talk over each other or just argue back and forth without listening to each other.
If Andrew doesn't get a chance to tell his side of things, he probably won't accept Anne's help.
Notice that Anne simply stops Trevor and, after a quick apology, states that she wants Andrew to have his turn.
In this way, Anne shows that she is clearly in control of the conversation.
Let's run through some more ways of ensuring that each person has a chance to speak.
I'd like to make sure you both have a chance to tell your side of the story.
Sorry, Dave.
Can we let Renee finish her point?
Okay.
Now, Rob, do you want to explain what happened from your perspective?
Wait a sec, Wendy.
I'd just like to hear Charlie tell his side first.
Let's hear Andrew finish explaining his side of the story.
Like I was saying, I was surprised.
Not that she wanted to move in the first place.
I mean, she had a bit of a personality conflict with another employee.
But I understood that to be resolved.
I see.
And so, Trevor, if Andrew thought the conflict was resolved, but then Lindsay announces she's leaving for Newmarket, for your outlet, can you see how he might feel that something's going on?
Andrew explains why he was surprised that Lindsay moved to Trevor's outlet.
But to Anne, it's not enough that Andrew has had a chance to explain this.
She wants to make sure that Trevor understands his explanation.
Even more than that, she wants him to feel empathy for Andrew.
Empathy is when we can understand what other people feel.
And getting people to feel empathy for each other can go a long way to helping resolve a conflict between them.
Anne asked Trevor directly whether he can see how Andrew might feel something is wrong, given what happened.
What are some other ways we can encourage empathy?
Let's try some more examples.
Can you sort of see how Larry might have felt in that situation?
Just take a minute and try looking at it from her side.
That would be very upsetting, don't you think, Frank?
I'd like you both to just think about how the other person saw things.
So can Trevor understand how Andrew feels?
I guess I can see how that would be awkward.
But perhaps she has other reasons for the move.
In any case, I didn't poach her.
Like I said, she approached me, and I encouraged her to work out her problems.
But Andrew didn't know that.
Right.
That makes sense.
Doesn't it, Andrew?
It certainly sounds like Trevor is trying to understand.
Still, he has his side of the story as well and he is trying to make sure Andrew and Anne understand that he didn't try to poach or steal these employees.
In fact he tried telling one employee to work out or resolve the problems she had at Andrew's outlet.
And remember, empathy goes both ways.
A mediator has to make sure both people understand each other's thoughts or feelings.
So, before moving on to the next step, Anne wants to confirm that Andrew understands Trevor's point of view as well.
Let's practice some more ways of confirming understanding.
So, just to be sure, does that make sense to both of you?
Are we clear on what happened then?
Okay, so we all understand the situation, right?
I just want to make sure everyone is on the same page before we go any further.
Now let's get back to the dialogue as Anne moves on to talk about solutions.
Yeah, I suppose.
Okay, and when we talk about solutions here, because that's really what we need, could we say that the goal is being effective and productive and not getting in each other's way?
Talking about what we think and how we feel about a conflict is, in some cases, the easy part.
The real question is what we are going to do about it.
And when we look for a solution, it's a good idea to set a common goal for that solution.
Anne asks Trevor and Andrew whether their goal might be to be effective and productive.
In other words, she is suggesting they find a way to work well together without interfering with each other or getting in each other's way.
Let's run through a few more ways of seeking a common goal for a solution.
Can we say that the goal in this is to have more productive meetings?
As a goal, maybe we can look for a way for both of you to feel appreciated.
So what we're aiming for here is clearer roles and responsibilities.
Do Andrew and Trevor accept the goal that Anne has proposed?
Let's listen.
Yes, I just want to do my job and do it well.
So yeah, I guess that's the goal.
I'm good with that.
And so, as part of this, it'd be great if you don't always assume I'm trying to undermine you, Andrew.
Okay.
And I think it's best if you don't talk to my employees without going through me first.
Yes, Andrew and Trevor accept the goal of being effective and productive.
And they're eager to suggest more specifically what that involves.
Notice that Trevor asks Andrew not to make assumptions.
And Andrew wants Trevor not to talk to his employees without speaking with Andrew first.
What do you do when people start telling each other not to do certain things?
Guys.
Okay, I think it's better if we can identify what we want to happen rather than what we don't want to happen.
You see what I mean?
The best solutions are phrased in positive terms.
That is, solutions are about what you want to happen, not what you don't want to happen, as Anne emphasizes.
A good solution should not be just a bunch of rules against certain behaviors.
What are some other ways we can focus on positive actions when discussing solutions?
Let's practice a few more examples.
Let's talk about what we should do rather than what we shouldn't do.
I'd like you both to define what you will do differently in the future.
Rather than focusing on the negatives, let's say what we want to happen.
How can we change that statement into a positive one?
Now let's hear Andrew and Trevor attempt to rephrase things as positive actions rather than negative ones.
Okay, so how's this?
We can agree to maintain open communication and keep each other informed of employee developments.
Yeah, that sounds good to me.
And I'll try to be more aware of when I interrupt you.
And I appreciate you doing more to keep me informed on any staffing issues.
By the end of the conversation.
Trevor and Andrew are now talking about what they are going to do differently.
That includes keeping each other informed or letting each other know about what happens with employees.
It also means Andrew will be more aware of how he communicates.
Now let's practice some of the language we learned in today's lesson.
Imagine you work as a manager and you have two employees who are experiencing conflict.
They have developed negative attitudes toward each other, which is impacting the whole team.
Your purpose is to resolve the conflict.
You'll hear a cue from one of the employees.
Then I'll give you a suggestion for what you can say in response, will guide you through each step in the practice and provide an example.
Answer for each response.
Ready?
Let's give it a go.
I guess I didn't realize I was being so negative.
Start by asking if he can see how that would make Kelly feel bad.
Answer.
And can you see how that might make Kelly feel bad?
Yeah, I guess I can understand that.
Now confirm that he understands that this is affecting the whole team.
Answer.
And you understand that this is affecting the whole team, right?
I can see that now for sure.
It's definitely not a good situation.
Next, set keeping a positive team atmosphere as a goal for a solution.
Answer.
Okay, so as a goal, we can say we want to keep a positive team atmosphere...
That's fine with me, as long as Kelly doesn't complain too much.
Finally, say that it would be more helpful if he could state that more positively.
I think it would be more helpful if you could state that more positively.
Now let's practice some of the vocabulary we've covered in this lesson.
In a moment you'll hear a series of sentences with a word replaced with a beep.
Repeat each sentence, including the missing word.
For example, if you hear, Let's meet to see if we can work out this.
You can say, Let's meet to see if we can work out this problem.
After each response, we'll provide the correct answer.
Let's begin.
Please be sure to keep me of any changes to the report.
Please be sure to keep me informed of any changes to the report.
Fresh Foods has just opened a new in Seattle.
Answer.
Fresh Foods has just opened a new outlet in Seattle.
Our office is so small, everyone keeps getting in each other's.
Answer.
Our office is so small, everyone keeps getting in each other's way.
Jerry, I think we should sit down and try to... this conflict.
Answer.
Jerry, I think we should sit down and try to resolve this conflict.
We've reached the end of this lesson, the second in our series on conflict resolution.
We've learned how to ensure each person has a turn to speak, how to encourage empathy and how to confirm understanding.
We've also looked at setting common goals for a solution and keeping the focus on positive actions.
Thanks for listening, and see you again soon.
