This is the business English podcast, episode 588.
Eight ways to avoid awkward silence.
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Hi, Aubrey.
I'm good.
How are you?
Excellent.
I have a question for you.
Have you ever had a conversation that was a bit awkward and felt like it kind of dragged on?
I've had many of these, I feel like.
Oh, many.
I think if you haven't had one of these, then what are you talking about?
The weather?
Yeah, you're not having conversation.
It should be happening to you.
Yes, exactly.
Because often it's something that's like Politics or religion or something where it gets a little awkward, we recognize we don't maybe fully agree.
And then it's fine if it stays interesting and we're sharing ideas and it's a good conversation.
But if it feels like it drags on for some reason maybe because someone's a me monster and they're just talking about what they think and they clearly don't care what you think like that could drag on and that is not a fun situation.
It's definitely not.
Yeah, I mean, you can be really uncomfortable.
I mean especially with coworkers guys.
I'm sure in the business world you know you could be chatting.
Maybe it's before a meeting and you're making small talk on your break, or you're at a business function and you just can't.
Keep the conversation flowing smoothly, and then it just feels uncomfortable for everybody.
Yeah, and this could be... I mean, it's not even that politics or religion came up.
It's just the conversation isn't really robust and isn't flowing, and that becomes awkward.
And it sort of feels like...
We're.
You know, there's this, there's the pauses where like, someone doesn't say something right away and you kind of feel like what do we talk about?
There are all these things that make it awkward that you can avoid if you are ready in advance, if you have the skills and the strategies that we're going to talk about today.
And I know that Lindsay and I have talked about this before.
We're like, I think it's also very cultural.
Like, I think Americans are not comfortable with the silence.
It's always like, it's an awkward silence.
It's, you know. but sometimes we just don't know what to say because when there is an awkward silence, it can be interpreted as you not being interested, which could maybe damage the connection a little bit.
Yes, I actually heard something really interesting on a podcast recently where someone was saying we shouldn't be so offended about some of these questions we get, that people shouldn't be asking, like maybe they ask you when are you getting engaged?
Have you guys moved in yet?
Are you going to have a baby?
And people are finding that sort of offensive.
Maybe they don't want to answer that question.
And this person was giving the advice, saying they are just feeling the awkward silence and they don't realize that.
So all you just have to have something real. prepared, like, oh, we're thinking about it.
We're not sure.
And then change the subject.
They're not going to mind.
They don't really want an answer.
They just are uncomfortable with awkward silence and talking without thinking.
They're asking you a question without thinking.
Should I be asking this?
Yeah, that's really interesting.
I was like, that is a really good point, actually.
Yeah, that is.
So today we are going to share some phrases to keep the conversation moving.
And hopefully make it more interesting.
So guys, before we get into it, we want to ask you for your reviews.
If you have not left a review for All Ears English or the Business English podcast, excuse me.
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We would love to hear what you think of the show.
Aubrey...
Yes, we're going to share a few reviews here.
Annie left us a five-star review on April 2nd and said, wonderful, with emojis.
Thank you, Annie in China.
Annie's in China.
And then Serksel Rostam also left us a review.
And then MZM said, I don't know what I write.
You are perfect.
Thank you for all of the reviews and the comments.
We read these.
We appreciate them.
And yes, leave us a review and we will try to read your name in an episode.
Yes, that would be amazing.
So, all right.
So, Aubrey, what do we need to keep our conversation going?
Yeah, this is a really I'm excited that we are talking about this today because I feel like I have developed this skill with experience.
I'm 47 years old now, and I wasn't as good at this when I was younger.
And now I'm confident that I can join a conversation.
Keep it going.
I'm genuinely interested in people, but it does take practice and it takes skills.
And it is harder for me in Spanish and French because in a second language you might be great at this in your first language and struggle in English if you haven't practiced a lot.
So let's dive in here.
The first thing. is to ask a lot of open-ended questions.
This means you are going to get more than a yes-no answer.
When you ask one, it means you want more than a yes-no answer, and it's definitely going to give an opening for the conversation to be more interesting and full.
Yes, exactly.
And also, it's important to have genuine curiosity, right?
And people can tell if you're being genuine or not, right?
So, you know, you have to show this in your tone and and your body language.
If you're just forcing questions, it's going to make it a little bit awkward.
Be genuinely there, be in the moment, be interested.
Exactly.
And it's the way to build common ground, right?
You won't be interested in everything the other person says, but find something you are interested in and dive deeper.
This is like when Maya Rosignac-Mignon was on All Ears English.
She talked about riffing when we do small talk.
And that is about building on something you have in common, making a joke about it.
A really good example was making a joke about how accidentally saying U2 when someone's like have a nice flight.
And you say U2 to like the Uber driver.
Oh my God, I do that all the time.
We have all done that.
We have all experienced or the server says, enjoy your meal.
You too.
And you're like, I don't know why I said that.
We all do that.
And that's the kind of thing where you can build common ground, right?
Experiences that everyone has are great for conversations.
You could talk about that with anybody.
Yes, exactly.
So but in order to dive deeper, you need actual prompts.
So we got some of this information.
So the first four prompts we discovered are from an up worthy article by Todd Perry and it's titled social skills.
Code shares four prompts to keep conversations rolling so they never get awkward.
And this was from February 7th, 2026.
Yeah.
I love this that people are social skills coaches.
I need a social skills coach.
Well, at least I used to.
I feel like now I could be a social skills coach.
I am.
Look at me here.
We are your social skills coaches, but we also research.
So we're like, let's see what other people have said.
We're going to add what has worked for us.
And yeah, look at us social skills.
Yeah, that's exactly right.
So, okay.
So the first one is tell me more.
So this is a used one.
Someone tells you a short story or statement about something that happens, but doesn't give you many details.
So example, if I say I had the craziest weekend Oh, tell me more.
So what do you think of this one, Aubrey?
Or if you say, really, what happened?
Tell me more or something like that.
Then I'm like, okay, I'm going to share a story.
We have time.
You're interested.
Let's go.
Another thing that I might say is do tell.
Do tell.
That's a fun one.
That's like a cute one, right?
Absolutely.
Or the second one is, what was that like?
And when is this used, Aubrey?
Yeah, so this is when someone had a unique experience, maybe a recent vacation.
They attended an interesting seminary.
They hiked a crazy mountain, something that you've never done.
Volcano boarding.
I remember when Lindsay went volcano boarding.
And I probably said what was that like?
What's that about right?
So here's a little role play.
I just visited the new museum downtown Oh wow.
What was that like?
Nice.
So then I'm like, you're letting me know.
Okay, give me some details.
But if you bring up that you went to a museum, there's a good chance someone will be like interesting.
Hey, I saw Jenny at lunch the other day.
They might not want to know all the details about the museum.
And that's okay, too.
That's why we gauge interest before we dive into the story.
Right.
Another thing I might say is, oh, wow, how was it?
Right.
That one feels very natural to me.
Or there's how'd you get into that?
So this is used when someone mentions a hobby or an activity they do.
So I love this one.
Yeah.
For example, I played pickleball for hours yesterday.
Fun.
How'd you get into that?
Yes, I love that.
And this is really a great connection skill.
If someone is sharing with you something they love, something they did for you to ask, how'd you get into that, shows so much care that you want to know about them and what they love and what they care about, how they became interested in that.
That is a question that would mean a lot to me if a friend asked me that.
I'm like, Oh, I'm so glad you asked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's exciting to talk about it.
Yeah.
So or what were some of the highlights?
So use when someone tells you about an experience but doesn't give away much information.
So, for example, this is good if you don't have a ton of time.
Someone says something and you can tell it would be a big story.
There might be tons of details and you have like three minutes to catch up before you have to go this.
You might be like, oh man, what were some of the highlights or what was the best thing?
What's the favorite thing that happened?
Something like that.
Cause you're letting them know, I don't have time for the whole details and for all the details.
Unfortunately, I need the highlights exactly.
So, for example, my family just visited disneyland for the first time.
Oh amazing.
What were some of the highlights?
Okay,
Yeah.
So, I mean, Aubrey, which of these phrases do you think would work well?
Are there any that you don't think would work well?
Yeah, I like all of these.
But if you go back and listen, you'll notice that for each of them we then said I would probably say this
And that was us saying like, this one sounds a little like I don't use this as much.
I know what it means.
I would use it sometimes.
But there's a go to that I have that would feel more natural.
And we shared those.
So go back and pick those up.
We're going to dive into some more here.
But there are phrases that everyone has their own style.
There are unique phrases.
Some people these might be very common to, and you'll hear them.
Use them, definitely use these.
They're not strange by any means, but there are other phrases that you and I both would use more instead.
Exactly yeah, good point.
All right, now we have some of our own ideas to keep the conversation going.
My first one is to say, how did that turn out?
This is used when someone tells a story or says something they did, but doesn't reveal the outcome.
And I do have some other options for this as well, because this does feel a little formal.
I would use this at work.
And as we're mentioning here, These are more formal because we use these at work.
Often we are changing our register a little bit, speaking a little more formally when we're talking about these things.
And then the other options we've been given, that we have been giving, are more what we would say in our daily lives to friends more casually, right.
So this, how did that turn out?
Often, if it's about work, I would say this.
For example, if I say, I finally gave that presentation.
I worked so hard on it last week.
Oh, yeah?
How did that turn out?
Perfect, right?
I would say this at work.
I would hear it.
It's like, how did it go?
Yeah, that's what I would say.
How did that turn out?
You can say either.
I think I would say, how did it go?
Just because it's shorter.
It's more concise.
Mm-hmm.
Or what's the story behind that?
So this could be used when somebody mentioned something unusual or interesting.
So for example, I actually make custom pinatas as a side gig.
Oh man, that's cool.
What's the story behind that?
Yeah, that sounds pretty.
That sounds pretty good.
I like that.
And it's it's very similar to asking how did you get into that kind of like the pickleball question?
Oh, how'd you get into that?
I would say that as well.
But this is fun, too.
What's the story behind that?
How did?
Because, especially when it is something very unique like this, I don't know people who make pinatas a lot.
I have, I made a couple with kids when they were little, but you know, not like regularly.
Um, or how's that going so far?
So yeah, this is when someone is in the middle of an experience or project.
So for example, I've been taking private Spanish classes after work.
How's that going so far?
Yeah, that's very natural.
And I like this.
It is very natural.
But a little caveat, I use this sarcastically a lot.
So just be aware that someone might say this sarcastically, for example.
If someone is like I bought a new car, it's a Jeep, you know, it's a kind of a gas guzzler, but something like that.
I might be like, okay, how's that going so far on the pocketbook?
Something like that.
And what I'm really saying is like, I don't know if that was the best idea.
Right, right, right.
Mm-hmm.
Or let's do one more, Aubrey.
All right.
It's what do you like most about it?
So you might say this when someone mentions a hobby, a job, an activity they do.
For example, if I said to you, Michelle, I just joined a writer's group.
Nice.
What do you like most about it?
Yeah.
And this is fun.
You're opening it up for them to share, to be a little more of a connection moment, to not just be like how's it going?
Whose house do you meet at?
This is bigger to be like, what do you like most about it?
Then someone's going to be a little reflective.
And maybe share like, well, the discussions are really thought provoking, honestly.
So this is a connection moment to invite someone to get deeper with you.
Yeah, I love that.
So should we do a role play?
Let's do it.
We are work colleagues here.
We're chatting before a team meeting starts.
I'll start us out.
Hey, Michelle, how was your weekend?
Pretty good.
I tried a new hiking trail outside the city.
Oh, amazing.
What was that like?
Oh, it was great.
The views were amazing.
That sounds awesome.
What were some of the highlights?
Well, definitely the waterfall at the end of the trail.
That sounds beautiful.
I love a hike that ends in a waterfall.
What a nice hobby.
I've been hiking for years.
I love it.
What do you like most about it?
Probably the fresh air and just moving my body.
It feels so good afterward.
I bet.
I'm not a huge hiker, but I do love camping and I do love a waterfall hike.
Same.
Nice.
Really good.
So we used quite a few of them here.
First, you know, just, oh, nice.
What was that like?
So you're sharing this cool new hiking trail and that's a fun way to ask for more details.
Yep, exactly.
And then it was what were some of the highlights, right?
So because we said the views were amazing and oh, what were some of the highlights?
And this is specifically about the views because I said the views were amazing.
And then you say what were some of the highlights.
Then you're going to share the waterfall, the sunset, right.
They're asking for specific details.
They want to know more.
What was awesome about the view?
What were the highlights?
And then I said, I've been hiking for years.
I love it.
And you said, what do you like most about it?
And it's great because I love it.
So of course, I'm going to want to Exactly.
So like, keep on.
If you know, if you can tell someone is passionate about what they're sharing, dig into that.
Get into it more.
You'll get them to talk more.
They're gonna be happy.
Exactly.
And this was interesting because I am a big hiker.
So this felt a little strange to me, this role play, because it's not me.
Obviously, when we do a role play, this is hypothetical people.
And this person doesn't hike much.
So this made sense for one person to say, I've been hiking for years.
I love it.
And the other one to say, what do you like most about it?
Because they don't really hike.
They don't really have a ton to say.
They just are offering the other person to talk more.
Me being a huge hiker, I would go different with this, right?
They say, yeah, I've been hiking for years.
I love it.
I'd be like, I just hiked the Grand Canyon.
I would say something about a hike, or something about what I love about hiking, and I'd be like, what about you?
What do you like most about it? right?
Because it's a different conversation if it's a hobby you're really interested in and if it's one you're not.
And both are great to have, but the phrases you use will be different.
That's exactly right.
Um so guys check out episode 584 of the business English podcast.
That was are you at the pinnacle of your English journey?
So, um, that's another really good one.
And yeah guys, for the takeaway.
The key to continuing the conversation is actually just being interested, right?
So find something in the conversation that kind of piques your interest and dive deeper, as we were talking about.
And then pick some of these prompts that we gave you that feel the most natural, to you, the most comfortable.
Yes.
And one of the biggest things here to me is you've saw a lot of us gauging interest here in these phrases, in these role plays.
Don't just dive into a story and share all the details without making sure someone has the time and is interested.
This is one of the most important parts of conversation.
That little question you ask at the beginning, or you just say a statement, give them a chance to ask for more or like that little gauge of interest to make sure they have time and are interested, so that they don't have to interrupt you and say I actually have a doctor's appointment and create that awkward situation.
Yeah.
Yep.
Exactly.
All right, Aubrey.
Well, I'm glad we talked about this today and guys, we'll see you in the next episode.
Awesome.
See you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
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