This is an All Ears English podcast, episode 2048.
Angry versus frustrated.
What's the difference?
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Are you frustrated or are you angry?
Today we dive into an interesting conversation about the nuanced differences between these two words.
Find out how to use these two words differently in your English conversations.
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Hey there, Michelle.
How's everything going?
Hey, good, Lindsay.
How are you?
I'm feeling fantastic today.
What are we getting into in this episode today?
Ooh, we're going to get Angry.
No, not really.
Do you get angry a lot or what do you think?
I get frustrated.
I noticed that when my meditation practice is stronger, I get frustrated less easily.
In seasons where that is the case.
But if my meditation practice is not as strong, I can get frustrated.
Maybe not angry, but frustrated more quickly.
Yeah, I can't deny it.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that's interesting.
You kind of distinguished between being angry and frustrated.
So there's a difference between the two, right?
There is.
There really is a difference.
And I bet our listeners would love to know this Michelle today, because this is what gets us to that 99 fluency level right.
When we know these little differences.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And guys, we happen to have a listener question about this today.
It's a really good question.
Before we get into it, we want to remind you to hit subscribe.
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So Michelle, should I go ahead and read the question?
This question actually came from YouTube, which is another great place to consume All Ears English.
Yeah, that's right.
Yes, please read.
Uh, this question is from sammy.
Okay, sammy says hi lindsay, i have a question, but what is the difference between anger and frustration?
I think frustration goes with goals i mean like you can't achieve what you want to achieve, and anger goes with people, like when somebody uh, is trying to annoy you.
Is that right?
Okay, love the question.
Very authentic Yes, and also I love that Sammy has, you know, put forth, you know Sammy, his or her own thoughts um, about what it could be.
And I mean, well, what do you think?
I mean, do you think that that sounds, that sounds right?
We're going to get deeper into it, but frustration goes to something you can't achieve.
I think that is probably part of the answer, that those, those definitions sound like they could be part of the difference.
Not everything, but part of it, is my guess.
Before I start plans.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I think it's a pretty good idea there.
So this is a very good specific question.
We'll dive deeper into it.
Guys, if you want to hear more about anger, listen to All Ears English episode 755, which was three steps to deal with angry.
Native speakers in English.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So that's a good one.
Go check that out.
Let's get into this one today.
Let's go straight to our answer.
So Sammy and the rest of our listeners know the difference.
So do we have a dictionary definition to start off of anger?
We do.
So the dictionary says anger is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Lindsay, what is the dictionary definition of frustration?
Well, according to the dictionary, frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of the inability to change or achieve something.
So that points to what Sammy said.
Yes.
Yes.
Exactly.
So, I mean, these definitions, though, they sound almost the same.
But I think what you were saying and what Sammy was saying was.
I think the key difference is where it says because of inability to change or achieve something.
So that goes along with what Sammy said about the goals.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, Lindsay, do you think if you're frustrated, if you're frustrated, you're always angry?
Yeah, think so, actually not necessarily right.
There's a lot of ways in which we could be frustrated.
Yeah uh again, i do like that definition it comes back to can't quite get something right, something that that could be more of a chronic frustration about something over a long period of time, And it doesn't necessarily evoke anger, because when I think of anger, I think of my jaw and I am, you know, my muscles are tensing.
Maybe I'm screaming out or maybe I'm being like being physical in some way.
Right.
Hopefully not.
But maybe some people are.
So that's different.
Right.
They are pretty different.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
They are.
They are.
I mean, I feel like you can also be frustrated in another emotion.
So maybe you could be frustrated and sad.
You could be frustrated and anxious.
But it's not that the two are mutually exclusive.
Yes.
Yes.
I think they are almost the same.
But anger to me also sounds a little bit more general.
And frustrated sounds a little more specific.
But let's talk about it.
Yeah.
And I would also say, Michelle, that's a good point.
I think for our listeners, guys at your level, if you're reaching for that 99 and fluency, go for the more specific words, right?
Yeah, that's a way to connect because when you're speaking with a native speaker, they feel they understand more fully what you're going through if you use a more specific word.
Don't you think so, michelle?
Yeah, I think it's good for the connection because you're really pinpointing exactly the exact emotions.
I mean, I know that sounds silly, but it's not the same.
But it makes me think of like with children.
You know they say they want.
You know you want to get your child to actually name the emotion that they're feeling.
Oh, that's true.
Right?
To learn that instead of just like, oh, they're screaming, say, oh, you feel this, you feel that.
So like I've spent time doing that with my son.
I'm not equating my son to to our students, but it's this idea of just like, being able to like, having that visceral need to be able to say how you feel.
And so we want to give you those tools, right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Okay.
So what are some example?
I think our listeners will become very clear when they have some examples here.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
So we're going to do some examples.
We're going to talk about them and we can also kind of switch between them to see how it would change the meaning, if at all.
Okay.
Yeah uh, all right.
So the first one is i was frustrated when i lost my phone for the second time.
Ah okay, so frustrated.
So how does this kind of go along with the definition?
Yeah, i mean, i think anger might be a little too strong here right, because it also is sort of their degrees of magnitude here too, right?
I think anger is probably a little even though it's different, it's not the same, it's not apples to apples i think anger is probably still a stronger emotion than frustration in many ways.
So yeah, anger isn't quite right here, right?
I was frustrated because maybe it happened before or maybe I had to get somewhere and I was gonna be late, right?
Yeah, it just fits better here, I think.
Yeah, I think so too.
I mean, you could say I was angry.
I think you would say I was angry if maybe you're angry at someone.
I was angry when I lost my phone because it was because my sister didn't remind me.
Blah blah, blah.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
Yes.
You can be angry at yourself, of course.
So I think frustrated fits a little bit better here.
But, you know, you could be.
Lindsay, what's the next one?
OK, here's the next one for our listeners.
Write this one down, guys.
She was frustrated when she couldn't hit the high note, but she worked hard over several weeks and now she can do it with no problems.
OK, what do we think here?
Does angry work?
Could we interchange angry in here?
I mean, you know, you could, but again, frustrated goes along with that idea of that goal, which Sammy was talking about, which the definition was talking about that having trouble achieving something.
Yes.
So that's why I think that that one's a better fit.
Do you agree, Lindsay?
Yeah.
If I were to insert angry here, I would kind of think of it as a little bit more of a childish response.
Right.
Yeah.
A little bit more, because frustrated implies a bit more sophistication, because it implies that you're working on something that you're like reaching after something.
Whereas anger is, as you were saying, like kids just become angry sometimes.
Yeah.
And they don't really know why they're angry.
Right.
I think anger is a less controlled emotion.
It's a it's a like a more brain.
It's like a closer to the brainstem, more primitive emotion.
I think I'm not a psychologist.
I don't know.
But I'm guessing in evolutionary psychology they would say anger is probably a more primitive emotion.
It's less sophisticated.
Like embarrassment is a very sophisticated emotion.
Right.
But anger brings us back to the caveman days.
Right, i'm angry.
Yeah exactly, that's true.
That's a good point, lindsay.
Um, so i mean, if you say like yeah, if it just wouldn't work as well to say she was angry, she couldn't hit the high note.
Like yeah, if you, if you say you're angry at yourself, that basically means you're frustrated, right like that in the way, kind of changes it.
But yeah, um.
Another one is about my situation with stubbing my toe constantly.
I was frustrated when I stubbed my toe for the second time in a week.
So I think this one you could totally say angry, because this one is more like you're a victim of something you can't really control.
Although Are you implying that you're just making the same mistakes again and again?
Yes.
Well, I mean, and I literally did it again yesterday.
I mean, I've been waiting for this toe to heal for like two months and I keep on stubbing it.
It's unbelievable.
Anyway.
Did you change the furniture in your house or something?
I don't know.
Yes, you're right.
Because I noticed yesterday that it was again on the bed and like There's something messing me up over there.
So anyway.
You work on that.
But then what do you think?
What is better here?
I mean, I guess it could be either.
I think in this situation it could be either like cause when you cause, when you stub your toe, like you do have that anger, that primitive response Lindsay, like you said, like it's not necessarily so sophisticated, but you can still have this frustration with yourself.
Like, oh, I was trying to achieve the goal of healing my toe, but I keep on stubbing it.
Right.
Like, so in that way, like, it's like a, it's not like a goal.
Like you were trying to sing a song.
That you were trying, you know, but still you know, like aiming to get better and it's not happening.
Trying to not get hurt around the house, Michelle.
Just trying to not have any physical problems around the house.
Oh my gosh.
I guess this is actually a really interesting episode.
More interesting than I thought because it's very nuanced, right?
These difference.
I almost feel like frustration also spans.
Well, of course it does.
Because again, it's about trying to get something that we can't quite get most of the time.
And that spans over a longer period of time.
Whereas anger can just be instant. right?
And then it's kind of gone, maybe.
Right.
It's true.
It's true.
That's right.
Well, let's do this one.
So this is so I was angry when my boss didn't think I was the one who did the project.
So what do you think?
Yeah, not good.
So anger makes total sense.
And, you know, totally justified, right?
That's a frustrant.
Well, Okay, I just said it.
I almost just said that's a frustrating thing.
See, it's a little bit confusing.
That's interesting.
Well, I will say both work here because I understand why anger would happen.
It's an immediate emotion.
It hits you right away.
Whereas frustrating kind of festers a little more.
Like, would you say it festers?
Yeah, yeah.
I think so too.
I think anger can fester too.
Yeah, that's true.
It's a good bonus word for today.
I'm gonna... Tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky.
Um, but yeah, I think I personally think either one is good here.
And then let's just do one more.
Don't be angry if I can't make it.
Okay.
I told you I might have to work.
Yeah.
So yeah.
So that's what do you think about that one?
Don't be angry.
Yeah.
More of an instant emotion in that moment.
Don't be angry.
Right.
I like angry here.
Don't be frustrated if I can't make it.
I guess.
But again it points to maybe the last time you didn't make it, maybe next time you won't make it.
It points to more of a, more of an, like a episode, like a pattern, maybe pattern kind of.
Yeah.
Could be, could be so interesting.
But I think that the main thing is that frustration seems more like the word annoyed or irritated.
I think anger seems more like mad, right?
Like you can be frustrated and not mad.
You can be frustrated in another emotion, but anger is more like, you're mad, right?
And you can have both emotions tied together, or it can make sense that one word better describes the emotion than the other.
And then, of course, what we talked about with the goals and the sophistication.
So lots of things here.
Super interesting here.
Wow.
Oh my God.
Fascinating.
And guys, again, work towards understanding this.
This would be a really good thing to really understand the nuances and when they work, but a lot of times they are interchangeable, right?
That's right.
Yep.
Yeah.
So good.
Yeah.
So Michelle, what else is up today?
So, Lindsay, I heard you're going to Portugal in the fall, actually.
So can you say something in Portuguese?
Oh, this is even more embarrassing than speaking Arabic on the podcast.
OK, I know that museum is un museu, un teatro is theater, o jogo está terminando.
Clearly, Michelle, I need some more work.
I've just gotten started here.
Oh, you sound good to me.
I think that's so cool.
But lindsay, so you're using rosetta stone to prepare for this trip?
Right, i am, and so far i am liking the method.
It's pretty immersive actually.
Oh, i love that.
That's so great.
Yeah guys, it's working for me, rosetta stone, when it comes to preparing for my trip.
So far, little by little, right?
But also, if you want to become more competitive at work with your english, maybe you work for a multinational company, for example, like a lot of our listeners do, Right?
Right.
Yeah.
Like maybe you guys take business trips to London all the time.
Then you'll want to check out Rosetta Stone and get the lifetime membership, which we're going to tell you more about in a minute.
Yeah.
So one thing that I have seen in Rosetta Stone so far that I love Michelle, is that there are no translations in the program.
So that's really kind of revolutionary, right?
You're getting trained to listen, speak, read, write, and really think in English.
Because on this podcast we've talked about the listening shock that we go through when we walk into a room, let's say at work, and everyone is speaking in English.
And we want to help you guys avoid that.
This is one way to get away from the listening shock is by being immersed in English through the app.
Oh, absolutely.
That's so huge.
And guys, Rosetta Stone is actually the most trusted app out there.
It's been used for 30 years, that's a lot of years by millions of language learners.
And guys, why do you think it's been around so long?
Because it really works.
Because it works, absolutely.
And it's easy to use, right?
So you can use it on a desktop or I was using it on my laptop when I was working on my Portuguese.
And it's also an app.
Lessons can also be downloaded.
You can use them offline, which is pretty cool.
You can use it while you commute.
I know a lot of our listeners listen to this show while they commute.
You can make a little more space for Rosetta Stone.
You can work on it while you walk your dog, even right after you listen to today's episode, Michelle.
That's right.
You can do that.
And you can also customize your lesson theme, right, Lindsay?
Yeah, so like in my curriculum, I'm doing beginner Portuguese, obviously.
So I have options for work, school, shopping, greetings, introductions.
Of course, travel is what I need to focus on.
Yeah, so that's really great.
So, but guys, don't put off learning that language, because there's no better time than right now to get started.
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Here we go.
Oh, this won't turn on.
I'm so frustrated.
Now don't get angry, Lindsay.
I'll help you.
I'm not angry.
I'm just tired of dealing with technology that doesn't work.
I hear you.
I get frustrated with tech too sometimes.
It can be frustrating when people tell you that you're angry and you go back I'm not angry, but you actually are right right right exactly, exactly.
You're acting angry.
But uh exactly, but i'm not angry right, not angry, not angry.
Um okay, here we go.
So what did i say first?
Right.
So i said oh, this won't turn on, i'm so frustrated right, and that goes with.
I mean, even though it's a little goal of trying to get your computer to turn on, it's a goal.
You're trying to achieve something and you can't.
You're frustrated right true true yeah, Fair point.
So it doesn't always have to be like a big goal.
It can just be the goal of, you know, trying to get in a parking space, you know, anything.
Here's a side question, just real quick.
Are you good at parallel parking?
You must be because you live in the city, right?
That's funny.
I, so it's actually right.
When we started our instagram, i did a ep, i did a post about parallel parking.
I really remember i think yeah yeah yeah, way back, way back a few years ago i guess, and um no, i am not oh no, i actually i like never do the parking.
I don't really drive that much okay usually yeah yeah, i don't usually drive that much.
Um, but if i have to parallel park, which is never um, i i would freak out.
I still remember learning a parallel park with like the traffic cones with my dad, and I still remember learning
What about you?
I can usually pull it off but uh, sometimes i can like, i have to try a few times, but most of the time i'm okay.
But with a big car we drive a big forerunner it can be really challenging because i don't know exactly the dimensions of the car.
That well you know.
So anyway, side point parallel parking.
You have one of those?
Yeah, do you have one of those cameras where you can see?
No no no no, our car is from like 2006.
Now okay okay yeah well uh, the the parking space that we do have is the smallest parking space in the world, so it's a good thing.
I on usually yeah, it's pretty funny um okay so yeah, i said now, don't get angry lindsay, i'll help you.
So i'm saying you're angry right, and we talked about that.
You don't have to be angry and frustrated like they don't necessarily match, but you're acting kind of angry and you're having this.
Now i'm angry because of that comment right now, and i say yeah, now i've got you right, i'm not angry, i'm just tired of dealing with technology that doesn't work.
Yes,
And then I said, I hear you.
I get frustrated with tech too sometimes.
And I feel like in that case, you're kind of bringing it all down.
Like you're keeping it more controlled by saying frustrated.
I don't know.
Anger is just like an out of control emotion, right?
Like horrible things have happened because of anger in the world.
Right.
And you know so.
By saying I get frustrated too.
I'm kind of sort of toning everything down, in a way.
Does that make sense?
Right.
And also showing that, like where you know, everybody feels this emotion, that this is like human to get frustrated with tech.
So like making you feel like, OK, I yeah, I know.
I know how you feel, basically.
Yeah, it's a good point.
That's that's a connection skill.
But we can, and we can reword things a little bit and present it to the person and say I've experienced this too.
So good.
What's the takeaway today, Michelle?
All right.
Well, guys, these words are very similar.
This is a great question by Sammy.
They are not always tied to one another, but we talked about some of the main differences.
Today, like with goals and goals, primitive emotions.
But guys, we hope that you're not angry or frustrated today.
We hope that you have a great day.
Anything else, Lindsay?
No, I think that's it, guys.
Don't forget to go get that special deal just for you guys at rosettastone.com slash A-E-E.
And your coupon code is A-E-E.
Fantastic.
All right, Michelle, thanks for hanging out on the mic with me today.
Thanks, Lindsay.
Bye, guys.
Take care.
Bye.
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