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It's no good, Lovey.
We're going to be trapped in here forever.
But I can hear people coming in and out of the costume room.
Someone is bound to hear us.
Maybe the actor that accidentally locked us in will remember and come and save us.
Lovey!
It's been years and years and years and years and years.
And no one has saved us.
I can feel my beard getting longer and longer.
It's tickling my knees.
Well, that's not hard, Diddy Dom.
We're only a few centimetres tall with disproportionately large heads.
How dare you?
Lovey.
What do you miss the most?
You know, from the real world.
Oh, yes.
I miss the sky.
Oh, yes.
And the garden.
And the garden, yes.
The garden we made out of those baked bean cans.
Yes, the baked bean cans, yes.
Oh, yes, yes, the sky.
I miss my bed and being shaved.
This beer's getting very itchy, you know.
Look, we're going to need to think of a way to get out of here.
You all right?
And it's time for another episode of Bedtime Stories, the 500-word podcast where we get to hear some of the amazing stories read by the very clever people at the BBC Radio Drama Company.
You know, they can do other voices.
They can make themselves like other characters.
Very clever.
I wish I could do that.
Why don't we have a listen?
You know, whilst we try and figure a way out.
Great idea.
I know just the theme.
A taste of freedom.
Was I here yesterday?
I don't remember being anywhere else.
I had definitely never been anywhere as dark and wet as this.
Shadows and vague shapes hung everywhere.
I could hardly open my eyes.
It felt like I was drowning in waves of thick, heavy water, as if I'd been swallowed whole.
My knees were bent towards my head, punching my swollen cheeks.
I could barely move my arms and my fingers were rolled into a curled fist like a snail inside a shell.
When I awoke, I didn't know how long I'd been asleep.
My arms and legs ached.
My feet tingled uncomfortably.
I kicked out with all my weight, but heard muffled laughter from outside.
I thought I recognized the voice I had heard before.
I couldn't work out what they were talking about, though.
I could only hear a boomy echo.
I felt tired all the time, and sometimes even when I was awake it felt like I was dreaming.
I didn't think I could move far, and a strange thudding pulsed straight through my head.
I knew I wasn't strong enough to try to escape again.
Every time I kicked or pushed against the wall, it seemed to push back against me even harder.
In the short moments when I was properly awake, I could barely see through the gloom and I would kick out uselessly at the walls in frustration.
Time became meaningless as I drifted back between waking and sleeping, barely able to tell them apart.
Even though I was confused, I slowly got used to this room, with its noise and darkness.
But then I felt the walls press even harder against me, as if it could read my thoughts.
It was around this time that I began to believe there was someone or something else imprisoned with me.
Maybe it was just my loneliness, but sometimes I awoke thinking someone had just spoken to me, touched me, grabbed at my hand.
I couldn't be certain who or what it might be, but it somehow made the space less frightening and I grew to rely on this shadowy comfort.
I finally became certain there was someone there with me.
They didn't speak or move, but I slowly reached out in the cramped space and felt... a hand.
I'd only a second of not being alone as I could sense them being hauled away into some other space.
I couldn't bear it and I screamed.
Then I realised I was being pulled away too.
Head first, I fell, grabbed at, pulled and squeezed from all sides.
Then came a light so bright I had to screw my eyes shut and I screamed again with a sudden coldness.
The noise was awful now, but I slowly blinked my eyes open and could see a purplish crumpled face and a pale smiling one.
My twin sister and my mum.
I was born.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
Bedtime stories.
Left.
Crowded, dark and dull.
This prison has been my home for ages.
I don't know why.
I did everything I was told to do.
I presented everything in the best way I could, but still I'm stood here waiting patiently.
It's overcrowded here and the walls are covered in graffiti.
Actually, I'm not too sure if it is graffiti or scratch marks that engrave the walls, evidence of previous escape attempts from others.
Ahead there is a rounded steel barrier which offers no chance of escape as it is always sealed shut.
I want to speak out, cry out, but I know escape is futile.
That, coupled with the muzzle over my stubby nose, I know I'll be here for many years to come.
By the time I get out, I'll be too old, too unfit and unsuitable for society.
I am depressed.
Unfit and old.
No one ever pays me any attention.
I'm rejected.
I'm different.
I'm lonely.
Today was a day just like any other.
Until I heard movement from the outside.
Outside.
You know, outside the prison.
I heard hurried footsteps and a frantic voice cry out, the Wi-Fi is down, does anyone have a pen?
Wait a moment.
Did someone just say a pen?
I'm a pen.
Oh, this is it.
The time has come.
Someone actually needs me.
Oh, I've been waiting so long for this moment.
2019, the year I was shut away due to the rise of the technology.
Then everything happened so quickly.
The roof was lifted from my prison and I felt something pick me up from behind.
Before I knew it, the surroundings around me changed.
A bright, spacious room encased me, full of splashes of colours, like the graffiti on the prison wall.
I felt the fresh breeze against me.
I felt free.
I felt alive.
Then I noticed a large object with numerous beige twig things on the end.
The twigs.
A hand!
Oh, it took off the muzzle on my nose.
I could finally breathe glorious air.
I was raised above the wooden oak table in front.
It felt amazing to be taken off my feet.
As I was upturned, I saw my long lost love.
Paper!
It was as clean and as crisp and as white as I remember.
The tip of my nose glided elegantly across the paper, printing words as I danced.
Effortless swirls and curls.
The dark ink behind me dried before it smudged.
I felt rusty at first, but then I began to pick up speed, words splurging out of the mind and onto the special lined paper.
Nothing can stop me now, as I begin to tell my story.
Crowded, dark and dull, this prison has been my home for ages.
I didn't know why.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words, the bedtime stories podcast.
Can't you do anything smoothly?
Feel this.
Where?
I can't see anything.
Oh, oh, wait.
Oh.
Oh, yes.
Yes, exactly.
I feel that.
Yes, because both of us have got excessively long nails after all these years.
We can use them. to dig ourselves out of here.
How long do you think it'll take us?
Who knows?
Doesn't matter.
We've already been here for years already.
Let's set to it then.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
Bedtime Stories with Dick and Dom.
What am I?
Beware.
I am the reason for your fear.
I am the haunting chill upon your neck crawling through your spine and causing you to quake in terror.
I cause children to hide themselves to get away from me, but no, you cannot escape from me.
I shall summon armies of wind, rain, frost and snow.
I am the invisible gate blocking you from doing anything and everything you want and desperately crave.
I am the conundrum.
I shall be the one you most fear.
The one who you badly want to go.
But I shall persist, sending torrential rain or daggers of ice like glass on you.
My hail will pour down on you.
My frost will cause you to slip.
You shall quake in fear and run as far as you can to get away from me.
I will follow you and send almighty blows to trap you in my evil clutches.
I am your biggest fear.
Anything and everything is affected by me.
I leave trees to shiver in the cold and I replace the green and yellow of the world with white and grey.
I shall unleash balls of hail and snow on you at a lightning-fast speed, so quickly that you can't even see them falling.
I will isolate you as you beg for mercy to be freed from your cage, but I will not give in.
I am a merciless menace that will never be defeated.
You will stumble, slip and fall on the ice that I shall cover the ground with.
Your heart will be blackening as you refuse to face me and isolate yourself from anyone and everyone.
But I will always be there to control you.
You will be a puppet, unable to escape from my clutches as no one ever gets past me.
However much they beg, I am the jailer, throwing you into your prison where you will stay forever.
I am the immortal force here to haunt you forever.
But once every year, my territory of coldness is invaded by an army of sun and warmth.
It advances on my grounds and wipes away the grey, cloudy sky, replacing it with one as blue as the sea.
People are no longer trapped in their prisons and are roaming around freely, as happy as ever, and wildlife can be seen everywhere you go.
Happiness has invaded my territory and there is nothing I can do about it.
I have been defeated.
Although I was removed from my throne, I am not gone forever.
I will return with armies larger than ever, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Beware.
I am winter.
BBC Radio 2's 500 Words.
The Bedtime Stories Podcast.
Hoo!
Lovey!
Lovey!
Yes?
I think I can see some light!
Oh, yes!
And feet!
I can see two sets of feet!
Oh, hello!
Hello, feet people!
Hello!
Hello!
We need your help!
What the... Diddy Dick and Dom?
Is that you?
What's happened?
You both look like you've been dragged through the hedge backwards.
Oh, but we have.
Yes, years.
We've been here years and years and years and years.
We never thought we'd grow beards this long.
And look at our nails!
How did you end up here, you two?
Oh, we were just being curious.
You know, a big box full of costumes, the sparkles, you know.
It all just looks so enticing.
Hang on, the theatre shut down years ago.
This box must have been open for about, what, 50 years?
Yeah, don't we know it?
I've never felt so bored, run out of things to do.
I spy in the dark's pretty boring, let me tell you.
It wasn't until we remembered all the 500-word stories that things started to look a little brighter.
Come on, jump up onto our hands, you two.
We'll get you out of here.
Oh, how good it is to see the sky.
I don't remember it being so blue.
And look, a barber's.
That'll be the first place I visit now I'm free.
Although, I think I've forgotten how to walk.
I think I'm going to need a little help.
Don't worry, we'll order you a Diddy Taxi.
Diddy Dum, I'm so happy we're out of that small, dark, cramped place.
Me too, lovey.
Me too.
The Terrible Claw I live in a rather odd place, an enormous glass house.
And there's a pile of us living here.
It's quite cramped, but there's no place like home.
There's a bunch of yellow fluffy things, all called Bob, and my bunch of rainbow-coloured bears.
We're all content enough together, but we live in fear.
At the top of our house there's a huge, terrifying claw that pounces down every now and again to grab one of us and prise them out.
We're all frightened of it, apart from Jimmy, the stupid one, who wants the claw to grab him.
He always pushes his way to the top, hoping he might get picked by the claw, while the rest of us push to burrow down to the bottom.
Everyone thinks he's crazy.
Every day, I see strange creatures outside our base, usually when the claw emerges to steal someone.
Whenever it swoops down, I pray desperately it doesn't snatch me.
Once it grabbed my leg, but I just managed to wriggle free.
Although I am very curious.
I don't want to leave.
It's fun in my house.
Jenny is always chatting about something and Denny is absolutely terrified of everything.
Penny is almost always asleep and Benny doesn't stop running.
It's like he's having a permanent sugar rush.
Then there's Lenny.
He's just strange.
In time, most of my friends have been stolen by the claw, and I felt bored and lonely.
There are a few yellow fluffy bobs left, but they don't talk much.
I often think to myself, where does the claw even take us?
Is it really as bad as everyone thinks?
I don't want to find out."
Then it happened.
The ominous music started.
Whenever the music plays, the claw begins to move.
It lurched sideways and stopped right above me.
I panicked.
I didn't know what to do.
The claw seemed even more frightening than usual.
It glared at me menacingly.
Slowly, it juddered down, breathing heavily.
The claw tightened round me and I was stuck.
I couldn't move.
I tried with all my strength to wriggle free, but it was useless.
I was properly stuck.
It jerked sideways.
Abruptly, the claw loosened its grip on me and I fell into a big black box.
I couldn't see a thing.
I had no idea where I was.
I called for help, but nobody heard me.
Before I could do anything else, a hand reached in and grabbed me.
A creature just like those I had glimpsed from inside my house was holding me tightly.
I had never been more scared in my whole life.
I must have fallen asleep.
But when I woke up, I was on a big comfy thing that the creature called a bed.
I was there with at least 15 other toys.
They were all so welcoming and friendly.
The creature gave me hugs every two minutes.
It loved me.
I realised that maybe the claw wasn't so bad after all.
I swam with methodical strokes, regularly enough to keep my head above the water.
My nurtured beard caressed the tranquil ripples.
The waters were teeming with tropical fish which nuzzled my calves.
My slate grey eyes heaved open the barricading eyelids to examine my surroundings.
A long arc of golden sand slipped down into the sea.
Fruitful palm trees performed a traditional dance in the breeze for the audience comprised of rocks.
The blowing wind created a melody as it swirled through shells and rustled the leaves.
My legs proceeded to build pace and propelled my dormant body towards the horizon, where the waves were stronger and the turquoise waters merged into a murky blue.
When I passed over the border, I could sense the presence of prodigious fish and a beckoning current.
The treacherous torrents had the faculty to strike at any moment and drag me to the depths.
I had journeyed enough to know how to avoid a premature end.
In fact, every day was nearly identical, alone on the paradise beach.
The sky was now clustered with a congregation of thunderous clouds.
Their tears stung my vulnerable cheeks and rippled the sea.
This had never occurred before.
I panicked.
Salt penetrated my throat, making me gag.
Towering waves crashed down on me.
Disoriented, I could not find the surface.
My limbs were thrown in every direction.
Finally, I broke the surface, only to be met with another colossal wave.
I was launched uncontrollably through the sky.
Suddenly my head crashed against jagged rocks.
Blood poured down my chest.
My hand checked the wound.
I felt something stuck over my eyes.
I wrenched it off.
The scene changed.
I was sitting on a foldable chair in a black painted contamination room.
One solitary light stood in the middle of the chamber.
I was no longer wearing my casual swimming shorts.
Instead, an unfashionable jumpsuit.
My head wound had miraculously vanished.
I noticed a tattoo on my wrist which read, Subject 236045.
Confusion ran through my veins.
I saw a peculiarly shaped object broken by my feet.
I realised I was among rows of people sitting motionlessly.
I took a closer look at my neighbour.
He too was wearing the same outfit, but had a disproportionate head.
It struck me everyone was wearing a headset.
Something was wrong.
An alarm blared and emergency lights flooded the corridor as I burst through the door and sprinted down the corridor.
Two guards dressed in black with hard helmets and translucent visors chased after me with guns in hand.
Having done no exercise probably for years, my chest burned.
I persisted, navigating my way through the labyrinth of passages.
I saw the exit sign, only a few metres more until freedom.
I reached for the handle.
The guards tackled me to the ground, forcing a headset onto my head.
I felt the sun on my face and sand between my toes.
Without opening my eyes, I knew I was back in virtual reality.
Oh, how good it is to be back in my diddy bed, diddy dom with a diddy hot chocolate and diddy bedtime stories.
Oh, those theatre costumes were so scratchy.
Oh, weren't they just?
I've had a really good itch, I can tell you.
Oh, we'll have to make sure we never lose our freedom again.
You know, like Braveheart, never again!
Night-night then, lovey.
Night-night then, lovey.
I can't believe they were locked in that chest for so long.
I know.
I thought they'd run off to join the Diddy Circus.
We hope you enjoyed this episode of Bedtime Stories.
Make sure to like and subscribe.
From everyone here at BBC Radio 2 and 500 Words, good luck and good night.
We bring you closer to the world's news as it happens.
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Giving you unlimited articles and videos, ad-free podcasts and the BBC News Channel streaming live 24-7.
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